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Oct 2019 · 265
Seasons.
Alyssa Oct 2019
she was as cold as the winter
            full of frost and bites on her delicate skin
            always wearing a scarf bearing cold colors
            but she is as intelligent as the raven
            and her potential is to not be underestimated
he was bright as the summer
            a ray of sunshine that his heart has captured
            his eyes as warm as the trees and the earthy soil
            a goofy smile and a cheesy laugh he can hold
but they both wondered to themselves
            from a distance of a single season that separates
            and puts them apart
            ‘what is love with its warmth and frost’
through the frights and scares
            and the hope of light at the end of a roller coaster ride
            to the seemingly never-ending valley of lilies
            and through the glaciers of darkness
that’s what love holds for us
            it is heaven or hell or whatever it is
            a paradise worth finding
            or a purgatory waiting in chains
it is a letter full of something
            or maybe even nothing at all
            chocolates and daisies?
            forget about it
the season that separates the wondering opposites
            it is the fall of the two for the other
            it could be the literal fall
            or the ‘falling head over heels’ kind of fall
love does not matter on your gender
            nor does it matter not on your preference
            it just matters that you have someone to count on
            or maybe even a shoulder to cry on
it is like the aroma of a coffee bean
            the scent so attracting yet when tasted
            you may or may not decline it
it is also like the essence of vanilla
            sweet and innocent
            but will be missed when it is gone
love is like when you’re the toothpick
            seemingly strong and firm at first
            but with a snap
            you can easily fall to the merciless ground
it is sentimentality
            a chemical defect found on the losing side
            for not throughout this journey
            will you always find peace among the storms
it is the range of numbers from zero to ten
            for the happiness, as all emotions do
            may fade away due to the negativity
it is the whisper of students among corridors
            soft but can easily be caught
            full of gossip or full of truth
            but I could choose to believe neither
            because that four-lettered word
            made people less of what they once were
love, it can break you
            yet, with such irony
            it could mend you
            and it would be the person who destroyed it
            who would come back
            to make you feel whole again
no more holding hands in the hallyways
            or even deserted places
            that seems to be ‘romantic’
            for these are just creepers
            and things could flip upside down
with just a snap
all those things they say about love
            not all of them could happen
            from written words of our imaginations
            to the writing of it onto parchment with our pens
            it is what we wish to happen
for this world could ever be so harsh
            to the bad but especially to the good
            that we find another way to escape from it
and so summer and winter never met
            never did they cross their boundaries
            for the cycle of the seasons
            is like love
there would be battles won in the frost
            a dose of happiness in the spring among birds
            the moodiness of both in the hot summer
            and the transition and neutrality that autumn gives
for even love
            must be known to have its routine.
Oct 2019 · 2.2k
The fungi.
Alyssa Oct 2019
The fungi has started to grow again,
coming from inside, rotting within.
My eyes scan the room from left to right,
there's nothing interesting,
anywhere found in sight.
I remove myself to explore and play,
into the forest I go, around midday.
As I wander and wonder,
my thoughts twist around me, causing a fluster.
All of this just because of,
some guy.
It's not your normal fungi,
it's the kind that if you touch it,
it will rot you from your delicate finger tips
to the very light that is your soul.
The kind of fungi to ruin your night.
So as I lie here, accepting my fate,
that evil demon comes creeping,
to smile in my face.
I'm all too weak to continue on,
finally letting go of myself, collapsing like a fawn.
My skeletal remains,
shimmer in the sun-
reflecting light like the barrel of a gun.
It's hard not to notice that toadstool right there,
growing from what would be my hair.
The fungi still loves to decay,
what was once me
One,
Very
Cold
October
Day.
Jan 2018 · 559
I know.
Alyssa Jan 2018
I know it's getting bad again when every day seems to blend in to another.
I know it's getting bad again when I can stare for hours at a wall, seemingly endless thoughts.
I know it's getting bad again when even the most appetizing of foods begins to make my stomach twist and turn like a boa constrictors body wraps around its prey.
I know it's getting bad again when my tears don't seem to have the ability to form when all I wanna do is cry.
I know it's getting bad again because I push everyone who loves me, away.
I know it's getting bad again when all I do is sleep.
I know it's getting bad again when my body aches from being in bed from hours among hours, even days.
I know it's getting bad again.
it's bad again.
I try.
Jun 2017 · 480
That tune.
Alyssa Jun 2017
Music doesn't lie,
it doesn't hurt,
It sometimes barely fades.

Music gets in our heads just as easy as the words said
by loved ones right before bed.
The look someone gets in their eyes when they hear their favorite song,

Music can heal,
it brings us together, we stand strong.
There is no race to music, because you can truthfully enjoy anything.

Music combines us together,
So why can't we make love and not war?
why does the world have to be so torn?
Achieving happiness is a deep enough struggle,

So sit down,
Chill out and listen to some tunes,
Because you never know the day that will be your last.

Enjoy the melody,
let it put a smile to your face,
The music will flow through you,
and make you feel whole again.
dunno
May 2017 · 13.3k
Dear Ex-Best Friend.
Alyssa May 2017
Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Remember all the times we spent together,
everyday started with meeting before classes started because that was the only
time we could talk until lunch,
remember all the times we laughed so hard we cried?
Do you remember all the times we had to hold one another in times of the need
because we thought all we had was each other?
Yeah.. Me too.
We spent all the time in the world texting and calling each other.
Things changed a little since I got a boyfriend,
but I never replaced you.
You always had a special place in my heart, and I think you always knew that.
We drifted apart, like two boats at sea.
You switched back to the school you came from,
and it felt like my life had just sunk.
Suddenly I was all alone in the hallways,
Coming in to school was like hell,
Seeing the spot we used to stand in,
Occupied by another set of best friends,
Or maybe two high school sweethearts- Making out like there's no one around.
It was so lonely without you.
You seemed happier where you were though, and at that time, that was all that mattered to me.
I walked the hallways with a sad, sorrowful look.
Teachers frequently asked if I was sick, or if I needed to lay down.
Suddenly I was that one kid that everyone wanted to pick and beat on. (Again.)
I was incredibly lonely at school, I couldn't even sit with anyone at lunch because I was so hated by so many people for reasons I didn't even know.
Come upon my junior year I got a month and a half into the school year before
I switched to the school that you went to.
I was reunited with my best friend,
Life seemed so good.
I was with my boyfriend, and my bestfriend.
It felt like nothing could stop me from gaining happiness.

You began going through boyfriends,
They would come,

and they would go.

I was put second to all of them.
There were days I was so depressed I didn't function correctly,
and all we would talk about is what you and your boyfriend did the previous night.
I was so happy that you were happy,

but I think I forgot the definition of "Happiness."
Everyday was full of being ignored and having guys' push past me so they could hug you while I sat in the sideline just waiting there, tears filling in my eyes because I realized that I wasn't significant to my best friend any more.
I couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong.
I got tired of feeling this way,
I grew up, and realized that highschool isn't meant for gaining the love and affection of people.
I proceeded to end the friendship because it wasn't making me happy anymore.
I understand that a true friend stays there through everything but in no way, shape, or form did I deserve to be kicked to the curb like a diseased puppy.

It hurt, It hurt like a *****.


But ultimately , I'm gonna be okay in the end.

And I hope she ends up okay, too.
But, just be okay without me.
not really a poem but eh.
May 2017 · 675
May 22nd, 2017.
Alyssa May 2017
I scroll through many pictures, from many friends
But they aren't friends.
They are simple just faces with a name set in front of them
with no soul, just a technological aura.
You don't know where their lives have gone,
what deep dark roads their minds have decided to take.
But what you do know is the way they do their hair, or their makeup.
You know a generalized assumption of who or what they are.
Soul's no longer seem to have meaning,
not like they once did.
Children will completely develop by the age 13,
With fake eyelashes and acrylic nails,
but when I was thirteen the only thing on my nails was the stains
from the mud in which I used to once play in.
Poverty ridden streets are just as ridden with $2,000 dollar cameras to capture the pain in someones life,
yet no change is given.
One day greediness and selfishness will be awarded
when the neediness is outshined
and selflessness is seen to be crazy.
We live in a TV,
and the streets are the circuits.
The government is running us,
worse than a circus.
This was random and it;s kinda ******,
May 2017 · 637
Do you sleep anymore?
Alyssa May 2017
My eyes stare directly into your soul,
but all I receive is a blank expression.
I look at you, expecting a warm glow to greet me
How my mother used to after I got dropped off from the bus
after school.
Nothing is the same and things seem to be so distant and cold.
Where did this take the wrong turn?
I can't seem to sleep anymore
and it looks like my friends were right about you all along.
I don't know what I did wrong,
and I'm sorry for what ever it is.
I search my mind for something to say, but I guess it can wait.
Do you sleep anymore?
My eyes shake, they frantically take to whatever they can
but it's dark and empty
Exactly how you turned me.
I should've crashed the car, the night I drove alone.
You talk like someone else,
I ran away from this, and now something's hurting me.
Every where I go is a memory of what we couldn't be.

I wish I could escape from all I know.
So
Here
I
Go
Apr 2017 · 816
My Dilemma.
Alyssa Apr 2017
Sometimes I see things I don't always want to see..
Like the times when he has a few drinks too many,
and suddenly he's changed..
The sparkle in his eyes are much different from when he's
maybe just high and sometimes sober,
He goes from gentle to angry in a matter of mixes,
I don't understand,
what he thinks what his tricks is.
I do enjoy the warmth from an occasional drink,
but I sometimes have to resort to fear in which I slink.
I worry if he will get home okay,
I really hope so, so that he can see the brightness of the new day.
I love him with all my heart but I hate being treated this way,
This is my dilemma,
and in this dilemma
I
Stay.
Dec 2016 · 494
Bored in the USA
Alyssa Dec 2016
Now I've got a lifetime to consider all the ways
I've grown more disappointing to you
As my beauty warps and fades
I suspect you feel the same
When I was young, I dreamt of a passionate obligation to a roommate
Is this the part where I get all I ever wanted?
Who said that?
Can I get my money back?
Just a little bored in the USA
Dec 2016 · 1.1k
February 15th
Alyssa Dec 2016
On February 15th
A day immediately after another you hate
You told me, "Smiling doesn't get you anywhere in life."
I can't explain the way my guts turned
The way my thoughts burned with
all of the memories
All the times I felt I could be ready to die
And you would look me right into my tear filled eyes and say: "Smile babe, don't cry."
And all I can wonder now is,
What changed that for you?
Is it the way that I loved you so roughly
I tore you into pieces
That no longer believe in the beauty of a smile?
Was it life and all of it's choices,
All of it's choosing that removed
the smile that was like a bruise upon your
beautiful face?
Or did you let your sorrows erase you?
Was it your lack of freedom?
Was it the fact that people are idiots
Who find gold mines inside of beautiful people like you
and still don't know how to treat them?
Have you been ****** dry?
Pretending the smile came from inside you every time
I've ever seen it
That mile long walk across the teeth that emerged from the midst of your lips
when you felt it.
My God, you were my heaven.
You used to smile like the ends of your mouth could grow their
own hands,
Reach into the mirrors in your eyes
and pull your soul out
Like the sun was smiling back at you
and the midst of your troubles
Telling you the night you'll only endure for a moment
But the light from my lips will return
in the morning, I promise.
Like the moon lit your room with the light so perfect.
When we kiss you swear that heaven had birthed it
Like there were angles in
attendance that tore love from you appendage
And shoved it down my throat
Forcing me to swallow it whole
Like the glow from your soul
became the light in your eyes
I was so used to having guide me,
having hide me from the darkness
You used to smile and it would tear me apart
but you are so, so
different now.
I don't know who you are,
I can't figure you out.
But if I retrace the steps in my mind
I can count all the times I've seen
you hurt
Seen all the weight you've been
forced to carry
And maybe, in that moment I'd
kneel before you
Knees kissing the ground beneath me
and ask you to place your burdens upon my shoulder
And I would carry them for you
for this lifetime
and 10 lifetimes over
Just so the weight of your burdens
wouldn't become the pain in your smile
Just so the thought of a smile
wouldn't keep weighing you down
Just so you would believe that
everyday of my life
I spend 15 seconds taking a glimpse into heaven
when you smile
You don't know the beauty of it all
I've seen the slowing of a heartbeat
that is aged with its pain
Restart and beat with a rapidity
that will make infinity ashamed
I've seen scars heal
Minds filled with positivity
People brought together
Friendships meded
Soul mates found
And all of this was just from a smile
So the next time i see it
I'll run into your arms like the wives of children
Of the soldiers whose souls were
thought to be stolen by the lives
that they've taken
Mistakes they've made
By the pieces of themselves they have
thought they lost
And you will show me the way back
to myself and watch me become as
new as I always do
And maybe this love turn into one thing
that birthed a thousand other
that give you a reason to smile
It may take a while but I've never seen anything more beautiful
than what I see when you do
And I don't believe in anything like I believe in you
So smile for me, even when this
world tries to tear you into two
Smile for me because, I love when you do
I love when you do.

— The End —