lonely yet surrounded

you don't know me

i'm quiet on the
outside
but on the inside
i'm screaming

cracked lips,
tired eyes,
staring deep into starry skies

my bestfriends
or my family
would probably
never see this
but i just
wanted to
let you know
that you are the stars,
you guys shine through
even in the darkest
situations

thank you

everyone has that one song
that makes them
laugh sometimes,
smirk like an idiot sometimes,
or cry sometimes

for me it's the
sound of your
voice,
the sound of your
heartbeat gently
beating underneath
my head as it lays
on your chest

stay with me
a little bit
longer

don't treat me
as if i'm fragile
because i might
seem quiet and shy
but i've got opinions
that are so strong
that they want
to break
through

opinions that want
me to tell you
to stop
being a
hypocrite

opinions that
make me boil
because you
won't ever
understand how
it feels to be
shut down

opinions that know
what i am
is not an option
but it's what
i've become
and what i've
accepted

opinions that
you have of me,
that i'm not
confident or
pretty

here's my opinion:
i'm confident that
you don't know me

i'm confident that i
don't need your
retorts in my life

i'm confident that
the words you
say that might
even hurt,
mean nothing
to me

and i'm
confident
that i won't
ever let it
effect me
again

i feel pretty in
the clothes i wear,
i don't need your
comment on them

i feel pretty with my
hair like this,
my shoes like that,
with my eyes on my
book because
truth be told,
it's way more
interesting than you

so wash my name
out of your mouth
because you say
i'm fragile and
oh so weak

so what if i am?

why do you care?

if only
the walls
were thicker
and then
i wouldn't
be able
to hear
my parents
fighting

if only
the walls
were thicker
so when
i'm talking
to my
bestfriends
over the phone,
they won't
ask what's
going on

if only
the walls
were thicker
and then
i wouldn't
have to tell
them it's
nothing

if only the
walls were
thicker
and then i'd
be able
to lie down
on my bed
not thinking
about what's
going on but
focusing on
myself
and my studies

if only
the walls
were thicker
so i could
sleep at
night
without
having to
hear them
all the time

if only the
walls were
thicker
so i could
close my
eyes,
even for
a second

if only
it were true
that everything
was fine

but now
i'm
listening to
their arguments
as a lullaby to
fall asleep