you
silently
call for me
in the night
and i come
running back in
your arms,
others might say
that i've lost my screws
and that i've got no clue
but i know that
there's nothing better
than loving you,

and i know you feel
this too,
our connection so wild
so free and so powerful,
it makes you sway
i heard last season that
the fall took you away,
you always loved autumn
the best.

and i can't help but imagine
how you would look
if you were still green
as you can be,
but slowly you changed
shade and went orange
but still lovely
because you were the
colors of the autumn sky;
full of shades, yellow,
orange and red.
almost made me wish
that i could change with
you.

it was early in the morning
everyone else was probably
dead asleep,
but i came to you
as i heard your calls
and silently watched
as you turned brown,
the color of lost
and now my
color of love.

now as i paint the canvas
i don't use the green
of your eyes
but i use the brown
of my last sight of you,
the brown of your voice,
the brown of your cries
and the brown of your soul.

some say that it hurts
when you don't
accept the expectations

but some of them don't
know that it hurts
more knowing
that you'll never
reach them

maybe
            just
                   maybe,
                                we
                                       will
                                                be.

i'll help but you never tell me what's wrong

how about giving me a little hint?

prickly roses
quick to touch

don't you weep
let's keep this a hush

sing my song
when you fall

or else watch
your demons as
they crawl

if only
the walls
were thicker
and then
i wouldn't
be able
to hear
my parents
fighting

if only
the walls
were thicker
so when
i'm talking
to my
bestfriends
over the phone,
they won't
ask what's
going on

if only
the walls
were thicker
and then
i wouldn't
have to tell
them it's
nothing

if only the
walls were
thicker
and then i'd
be able
to lie down
on my bed
not thinking
about what's
going on but
focusing on
myself
and my studies

if only
the walls
were thicker
so i could
sleep at
night
without
having to
hear them
all the time

if only the
walls were
thicker
so i could
close my
eyes,
even for
a second

if only
it were true
that everything
was fine

but now
i'm
listening to
their arguments
as a lullaby to
fall asleep

i promise that
when the wind blows
i'll think you're there

when the sky cries
i'll think you're there

when the leaves fall
i'll think you're there

every holiday,
every dinner,
every family gathering,
i'll think you're there

why are you so ******* yourself?
the way we're just pushing ourselves to the limit
being our own biggest bully
why do we do that?

it's hard loving the same person
that your friend loves

should i betray my friendship
and follow my heart

or

should i betray my heart
and follow my friendship

ignore that
mole on
your face

ignore that
pimple that's
gonna grow
and trigger more

because even
your moles
and your
pimples
are not who
you are

they can't make
you ugly,
it's you
who decides
what you are

so ignore
the comments
and start saying
that you're
pretty
even with your
mole or your
pimples

because every rough
edge
only makes a
more perfect
you

we, humans, are so strange-
we fall in love so easily,
we hurt so easily
yet we won’t forgive as easily

cracked lips,
tired eyes,
staring deep into starry skies

let's not
be a little
more social
but let's be
a little more
open with
ourselves
before we are
open to anyone
else

let's not be a
little more humble
when we haven't
been selfish
for ourselves

let's not be
a little bit careful
to anyone
until we look
out for ourselves
until we care
for ourselves
and then we'd
be ready for
someone else

let's not believe
in anyone else
until we believe
in ourselves

let's not send
our love to
anyone else
until we
truly love ourselves

being us,
being you
and being me
is so different
but we all have
similar needs so
fulfill ours first
until you go to
someone else

because being you
always comes first

you make
falling in
love seem
holy
so bless
me with
your
curse

stop looking
in the mirror
at your imperfections

don't look at your
acne scars
or if you don't
like your nose
or the color
of your eyes

but let's look
at that breathtaking
smile you have,
the amazing
personality you
have

and how
special you
are because
you are different
from everyone else

what's the point of building friendships if all they do is knock you down?

perhaps in this life
our soles never touched
the same ground
but the next time
our souls will

i know it's bad to hold on but i just miss your company.

i don't think i miss you like i used to, maybe it's just the friendship i want now, the conversations we had and how happy i was.

i miss me.

i sat silently in the auditorium
my hands clammed up in a fist
their voices echoed in the room
but none to reach me

i sat scared in the auditorium
they gathered in groups
turned round to stare
and all i could do was look away

i sat idle in the auditorium
they would think that i’m
mute like a ghost, dead or gone
walking right through me

i sat praying in the auditorium
my feet nervously tapping
my voice quivering when
i asked the girl beside me
a simple question,
thank god she answered

i sit alone in the auditorium
this room has held my voice captive
my confidence has been stolen
and yet my heart pounds every
split second but you still
cant hear me?

you faintly
smell like
coffee and
you keep
me up
all night,
thinking
of what we
could've been,
i can't focus
because
all i
ever
think about
is you,
the way
you laugh
the way
you smile
they way
your eyes
light up as
you see her.
i'll wait,
and until then
i'll be sipping
on some
strong
coffee,
trying to get
you
out
of my
system.

feeling so cold,
you said you
want to
overdose
but you
tell nobody
else that you're
on the low

feeling so cold,
you're scared
of being alone
but when was
the last time
you let
someone home?

if only
words
didn't break
us apart
but you're
more
for action
and a little
more of heart

i always
dream
about
things
that i
want to be,
want to do,
want to say,
but when
i get
the chance
i don't
take it
i get
scared
thinking
what
everyone
else is
going to
think.

i'm sure
that i
could
become
stronger
if i
just wasn't
a coward.

i'm
making
a deal
with the devil
when i dance with
him late at night
down at parties
drunk in love
with you

but he's got me
wrapped around,
oh the devil
stays with me
and he pulls
my hair back
as i let
it all
out,

he's always
mad but
he won't let
me go because
every night,
he calls me
in my room
asking for
one last
dance.

dancing with
the devil
has never
been
better,
because
he's a devil
in the form
of you.

lately i've been feeling stumped
because even my own roots do
not ground me firmly
but they want to
bury me
alive

please be
quiet as
you trace
my skin
because
i'm afraid
it would
wake me up
from this dream,

don't say
a word
when
you smile
at me because
that pretty
little mouth
will ruin
the moment,

don't say
you love me
because
i can't even
love myself
and what
kind of human
am i if i cant?

please don't
leave me
even if i don't
make my mind up
but when i'm
with you even
if i won't say the
words,

i feel them
vibrating
in my bones,
swirling around
my veins in
golden ichor,
filling my
rib cage
with a garden
of hope,
wishing that i
can  nurture it
but my garden
is full of
weeds
and when
i pick up
one it
starts to
double,

i haven't
got a
green thumb
but thank God
you do.

they say i dream
too much
but if love's a
dream
then i'd like to
dream forever

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

i'm scared
because i'm
falling in love
with you
                       but i don't know
                       if you're going to
                       safeguard my heart
                                                            and i don't know
                                                            if i could make u
                                                            stay forever
                                                                                           oh god,
                                                                                           i really wish
                                                                                           for u to be my
                                                                                           girl for the rest
                                                                                           of my life.

falling in love hurts
falling out of love hurts more

but falling in love alone
and falling out of alone,
hurts the most.

how silly it is to say that
i love you from afar
because hearts like
ours never attract
but they can collide
and pause for just
a breathing second
as we get a glimpse
of love for the first time

you don't like
those freckles
on your shoulders
but i love drawing them
on the page like
constellations
that are immoral,
that stay with me
forever
even if
you don't
know
that i
exist on
the same
planet
as you.

rub those
tears off
your full on
baked make-up
face,
wipe those mascara
drippings and
fix your lipstick
because i can
see you breaking
even if you hide it
get it together, barbie

my bestfriends
or my family
would probably
never see this
but i just
wanted to
let you know
that you are the stars,
you guys shine through
even in the darkest
situations

thank you

don't expect
me to echo
your
opinion
because i've
got opinions
of my own
but you're
too busy to listen

you're here, but not here

there's something
about you
that makes me
wish that i
could have
the courage
and just say
'hi'

i took breathing for granted
until the day you stole the
air from my lungs,

i took it for granted until
my ribs became steel traps
caging me in captive
like a threat to itself

there's nights i'll wake up
gasping in the heat of fire,
choking in the smoke and
begging for sweet oxygen.

not long ago i could breathe
without giving a thought
and the only thing that
feels right is when i cry
and what love of of red, pink
and white that you gave me
is now clear and transparent

i've gotten used to breathing
in the world this way without
your heartbeat in sync with mine

but now it's beating with the
monsters within the wall

it's beating with the monsters
within me

they say blood is thicker than water but haven't they heard
of ichor?

ichor;
the deep felling within, when you sense that something may
go wrong but let's set that thought aside because you don't know
what happens when the blood boils of gods and goddesses
or when the hues of gold and silver yearn for solitude as they
transform into something new; more precious, more expensive.
falling from the slick blade of a hero, poison to any mortal. but us-
humans- are wicked. if that blade falls into our palms, we'd corrupt
the world by spilling ichor for our mutual misunderstandings. so
we let ichor fall back into history- a curse for the reader- hoping one day that it'll fall into innocent hands so that once again,
unleashed from it's chains, would come Hade's hounds coming
to get you.

i promise i don't want to get back with you but at the same time i want to talk to you, to hear you and to spend my time with you. is that alright? or do i sound in love? the scary part is that i don't want to love someone who's going to break me again

why do we call it "falling in love?"

perhaps it's in the act of giving oneself up
or maybe it's because you take a leap of faith
or is it because when you fall

        you either get caught
                                  
                             ­              or
                                                   you get hurt?

"how much do i mean to you?"
you asked that in front of everyone,
acting so full of yourself, brave and proud

and in that split moment my ribs caged
my heart captive, i held my breathe for
a minute, and my heart froze for a second

i took a sharp intake before i spoke those words:
"more than oxygen."

i hope you didn't notice that i lied.

these days
if a man is
respectful,
caring and
brings his girl
always above
everything
is a luxury

but what
people in
this century
forgot is that
it should be
a standard

please don't
come to me
when you're
feeling lonely
but instead
come to me
when you
feel happy,
alive and free

do you feel this love?
where i
can't sleep
but instead
i'm dreaming
about you
in a hazy way,
and how maybe
you might be doing
the same as me
or maybe i stare at the
ceiling and these four walls
feeling like you know
how much i miss you even though
i just saw you a few hours ago
even though it felt like forever,
is this love?
when i can't eat
but not that i'm not hungry
but because i wan't to be like the girls
you like who are skinny and polite,
not loud and who eat a lot,
but i know it's for a good cause
because in the end,
i get you.
is this love?
when you tell me what to wear
or get mad if i say something to your friends
or if any one of them get close to me,
my friends would say you're being protective
but there's something different,
something that's more possessive
and that something
scares me.
oh pray,
please do tell me,
is this love
that we're dealing with?

it's better if
i don't speak
because
whatever words
come out of my
mouth, you'd
still be angry
with me

i love it
how you
gently
run your fingers
along my body
as if i'm a canvas
and you're painting me
in red love,
orange trust,
yellow happiness,
green jealousy,
blue euphoria,
and purple
like royalty,
you stare at
me like i'm
worth looking
at, like i'm art,
oh how you carefully,
run your fingers on
my cheek and
whisper to me
ever so softly
"i love you."
but you're
just the paintbrush,
and you're
going to be
finish
this
masterpiece.

i want to clean
up
     this
            mess
                      and  
            start
        a
new
         page
                   but
                           they
                   say
          art
is
         when
                    you
                             feel
                     the
           most
naked
           most
                     vulnerable
           most
broken
             but  
                     if
                            i
                   pick
           up
my
        my
                shards
                               then
                      i'll
           just
bleed
          with
                    ichor
                               and
                     red
           wine
hues
           that
                     reach
                                  up
                      down
          below
on
        the
                 doorsteps
                                     of
                      death
         just
                  dropping
                                        by
                             to
               say
hello.

do we live for the sake of ourselves
or do we live for the sake of eachother?

next time
when you
tell me
that you
love me.
don't look
at the ground,
your hands
your shoes
or at the sky
but next time
tell me
that i mean
the most
to you
with no
limits
no boundaries
no buts
in between.
next time
look at me,
at my face,
through my eyes
and smile at me
like you
sometimes do
with happiness.
because seeing you
makes me
feel
happy.