You are my brave brave woman.
Be strong, my fierce lady.
You will get through this.
This is only a blessing in disguise.
You have the will and determination
to fight anything that comes your way.
Just hold on.
You will rise like a phoenix from dusk.
This happened just to burn away the unworthy,
to help you see the plain truth,
which is beyond your blindfold of beliefs.
All the unworthy, who was with you all the time,
will run away at the first sight of a rising storm.
Recognise who they are and just move on.
Remember just one thing.
No matter what happens,
I trust you, have belief in you and will be with you till the very end.

I feel like darkness is descending on me,
clenching my sensitive heart in loops,
unfortunate events cascading with time.

When I feel like hitting the rock-bottom,
I am going further and further down,
When will I see the upside of things?

Or will I just lose myself trying so?
Lost in the space forever with death.

Sleep, dear sleep,
Why do invade me uninvited?
But why do you fail when I call you?
You've invaded my precious moments
And escaped the undeserving ones!
Why are you so partial?
Oh, I've slept myself to oblivion!
Insomnia and narcolepsy,
the duo have haunted me for years,
Now what do I do with what's left?

Is living at the moment always chaotic?
But makes sense contouring backward?
Somehow every moment almost always
no, say absolutely always adds to a whole.

There are only two regrets you can feel:  "Why did I?" or "Why didn't I?" Both are equally heart-breaking but I guess "Why didn't I?" hurts a tad bit more.

Dreams bring life to my soul and make me whole.  This might be a cliche to fellow dreamers but I'm voicing it still.

In the quest to make dreams come true, I forget what makes me thrive, immersing myself in endeavours.  Sometimes wondering if I should pursue but just going all the way in regardless.  Sometimes it takes years, persistence, patience and taking a toll but every dream is worthwhile.  I guess sweet dreams, bitter failures, making dreams true is, after all, what life is about.

Why is it that something  
That felt so beautiful to me once
Feel so ugly and disgusting now?

So what?
If you don't like me
I like myself just alright,
Just alright to go on.

So what?
If you turn me down
I will go on living,
Writing more stories.

I just wanna be more.
I wanna live a little more.
I wanna explore a bit more.
I'll love myself a little more
To make it all fine for me.

Into my wild uncertain life,
Like the rays of Sun through canopy,
Dreams so wild and vast gush through,
chasing out the looming waywardness,
burning out every rejection and failure,
turning every obstacle into possibilities.

One moment I was feeling so much.
But the next moment I felt so numb.
I had got lost in illusion for a moment
But I saw the intentions clear the next.
What appeared to be a land of love
Was but a desert with mirages of love.

I'm not born strong like people think.
I literally die before I am reborn strong
Every single time.

Why do some people who are trustworthy at normal times run at the first sign of danger? Why do they turn into people who can't be relied upon?

I used to be a people person.  But tables have turned.  I have been a lone person for some time, not that I didn't have people around me.  And to my utter surprise after all this while, when I hang out with people who were once close to me, I feel so estranged that I have to think about my lone times to feel okay.  I don't know if I can stop being alone.  If only I find someone who doesn't make me feel lonely...

In my life, my closest ones are
Here for a moment and gone the next,
Always meeting
for a short while after a long while.
But the tiny happiness is priceless.

I have lied with silence, smile and words
when I couldn't stand feeling unwanted.
I just prefer to pretend everything is fine.
Maybe.

The needle trailed through my skin,
smearing ink with its every touch,
Imprinting my legacy in its wake,
Narrating the tales I speak not of.

Brave struggles and conquered fears,
all traced with a divine perfection,
marking victories over adversities,
are forever kissed deep on my skin.

Judged at first sight or outcast,
I care not about them the least.
I wanted my art to power me up
when I feel, speak or act feeble.

Love, so colourful and magical yet blind at first
changes just as swiftly as the seasons change,
love perspires ever slowly and inapparently,
till it is lacklustre and lost in the air forever,
Replaced with pretence for the sake of old times,
masking uninterestedness with a fake curiosity.
Lies come freely as one tries not to be obnoxious.
But seemingly, both are trying not to be insolent,
with both professing about love in the air tonight,
even when neither feel even a pinch of it in heart.

Just as quickly as I quiver
I bounce back into action
Slowly replacing the fraility
With ounces of relentlessness

Long cold blue days,
The Sun hides behind,
Letting the cold whoosh over
Got no blanket to hide in,
Stripped off every shield,
Cuts made even on the naked,
The burn and chill all at once,
Going down an abyss,
Stitching the torn bits,
Climbing slowly the steps
Only to fall right back on face
The very soul screaming,
Pain, misery unbearable,
Longing to break the cycle,
To vanquish the looming darkness.
Yet steadfast in pursuit of dreams,
Holding on to the slipping hope
That the long night would be over
And the Sun would rise tomorrow.

When our college days came to an end,
Moving back to our places brought distance.
When I felt affected so much by it,
My friends seemed not to feel much.
I wept over our gone together times.
I longed to get back our past moments.
But tick, tick, tick, tick went the clock.
And time has made it's own move now.
When I see my old friends again,
I have lost the touch of feelings.
Just as the clock ticks by, do feeling change?
Did my tears for the people I loved
Turn my heart into a hard diamond?
Why don't I feel the same any more?

I love saying "I love you baby" to myself.
I don't seem to love anyone enough or long enough to be able to say it to them.
Is that crazy?

I met my now turned ex friend
Last month after about a year.
He had traveled miles to meet me
Though we had just a day together.
We met in the city we had first met
where we had spent time together.
He had told that I was his reason,
That we were friends forever.
He wouldn't make a choice,
So it was on me to decide
and take him to places as well.
We hit restaurants and theatre
catching up with each other.
But he just went on phubbing,
While we were heatedly gaming,
While watching his choice of movie,
Even while we were dining.
He phubbed every chance he got
With no explanation whatsoever so.
I couldn't bring myself to tell him
To put his ******* phone away
And that I wanted his full attention.
The whole time calming myself down
telling myself it was only for a day.
We parted with him saying
it was such a fabulous day
And that he didn't want it to end,
while I was glad that it was over,
Finally.
We were such great buddies in the past,
And talked about a great deal of things.
But the very memory of him appears black
Just too painful to even think of now.
I tried so hard to forgive him but can't,
don't think I will ever be able to.
I have just boxed it in this writing
And in a distant corner of my mind,
moving forward with my life.

I regret not walking out on him.
Oh, how much I wish I had.

She sits on the terrace under the curtain of the night sky with about a dozen stars gazing at her charmingly and the bright old full moon watching her with curiosity, as the gentle breeze whispers to her.  With her old worries and new wounds circling her mind, she drinks in the beauty of the night and tries to get high each night dreaming of a bright future.  Despite the days getting awfully long and out of her control, her life dwindling and swirling in uncertainty, she is her only anchor as no-one no more tells her anything she wishes to hear.  Her sleep robbed, she has become a woman of the night as exhausted and spent she is. But she still yearns and works towards the dreams she believes in and takes solace in the beauty of the night.

You say
you're sorry for hurting me in the past
and regret doing some things to me.
I know not what you mean.

You say
I am the reason you want to change
and wish things had been different.
I know not what you mean.

Remembering the way I saw,
we were jolly good buddies.
I know not when you hurt me.
I know not how I'm your reason.

A good friend I will be forever.
Expect nothing more from me.
But when you speak in ambiguity,
I don't find it in me to say it out.

My tender heart clenches in pain.
Tears roll down on it's own accord.
Why do your simple words
Tear apart my heart so ruthlessly?
Why do you hurt me so deeply?

Whenever I speak about me,
people hear half the narrative,
fullness of half a tale dangling.
I leave out the other half of it.

Whatever people understand,
it's always the partial truth.
My world is full of paradoxes
Just so long to tell in its entirety.

Too numb to feel anything
Sorry all, who love me,
For not being there with you.
Too high and driven by dreams
That even sleep has evaded me.
Hurt too deep to stay where I am,
I want to belong at a better place.
I am not gonna stop till I get there.
And not even after.

Why did I get to know about the myriad faces of the game before I even got in the field?  Players have told me a lot about the game called love .  I never asked them.  Some simply did while some needed to talk out to move on.  I just happened to be the person they could trust with their darkest secrets.  With the tales, my dream of an almost utopian world has receded into the past.  Sometimes I just have a minuscule wish to be able to dream of paradise like everyone else.

I've got nobody to lean on.
People are on all the sides.
I am starting to feel like
I'm stranded on an island.
My world is breaking apart.
I am not in control of my ship.
I'm hauled towards icebergs.
This is not the life I'd wanted.
I've got a big smile on my face
Swallowing the raging storm in.
I hide these details of my silly life
Making it look perfect for all eyes.
I need to make a quick escape
Before I'm stranded here forever.

My world had turned small for some time. For a while, I had a great deal of things that scared me. It was at that time that I and Paul met and become close buddies. I was afraid of dreaming and trusting. I was afraid of giving more and ending up in an inescapable, disheartening web of *******. I was afraid of commitments. He had the same fears. Through the tales that brought about these fears we connected, though I would have done anything for the people I loved even back then. I was blind and overlooking, cuddling with my own insecurities. Things have changed a great deal as I have got on to my next phase of life. Slowly my fears are leaving me. I'm not afraid to give people my all. I'm not scared to love. I'm dreaming with open eyes with only possibilities in mind and a belief in myself of getting  all that  i want. I stand strong for people I love and have comforting words for others too. Upon meeting him after such great changes in my life, I couldn't help noticing how small his mind and heart are for even the people closest to him. I can't close my eyes and overlook now. I don't like him anymore. I might seem like a ***** but I hardly care.

Feeling never ending cycles of
Greatness and misery
Trapped in a world of illogical ideas
Every thing seems so bothersome

They say....

If you don't become a Sun,
We'll marry you off to a Sun
So you can at least be a moon,
A beautiful sight to behold.

Reflecting your spouse's light,
Blazing smile plastered on lips,
Diamond in glory on fingers,
A beautiful sight to behold.

I say...

As scant as my light is today,
Never will I become a moon,
I, a star from far away to see,
A beautiful sight to behold.

Always on the move forward,
Ye don't have to wait long to see
Me become a blazing bright star,
A beautiful sight to behold.

Sink in a posh, wayward dream boat
Or come ashore in a torn reality boat

Seek and crave for one fairy tale ending
Or live tiny fairy tale moments with joy

Hear and believe beautiful lies
Or brace yourself for ugly truths

If you encountered such crossroads
Which ones would choose to travel?

O friend,
You were radiating light so bright
I got blinded and could hardly see.
I tried to run away and hide,  
Building a barricade,
Hiding inside a cave,
Afraid of even a point light,
Not understanding you.
You got hurt.
You tried to understand.
You tried to make me see.
You reduced your brightness
So I could see you unafraid,
Believing I would see one day.
Never giving up,
You believed in our friendship.
I opened my eyes as you believed.
But it was a bit too late.
You'll be leaving my dear friend!
I’m sorry for hurting you absconding!
You shine bright like a Sun now too!
But I’m not afraid of the brightness!

Broken into million tiny pieces,
Scattered as a thousand shards,
Torn apart by mindless gossips,
Plunged with a dozen knives
Plated with jealousy and greed,
Got run over by fake concerns,
Bitten by some parasitic humans,
Toppled down by intolerance,
Stamped down by indifference,
Abused by few immodest ones,
Died because of immoral some,
Got choked helping a handful,
Poisoned by loneliness for long
                      Is me.
I tied the noose a million times
But could tighten it never ever
As glints of hope always remained.
My knees are almost giving away.
Yet here I stand!  I stand.  I live.

Standing beside me was a huge tree
With branches spanning a vast space,
Tender fresh leaves in wiggling spree,
Radiating liveliness to people who gaze.

Days, months and seasons had passed,
It's last leaves were withering unwillingly.
It stood then all bare with leaves none,
A breathing epitome of ephemeral life.

A home to many creatures once,
nobody spares it a second glance.
Mercilessly, from it's lively home,
It's roots have been coldly uprooted,
Shifted to some distant old-age home.