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A presence
presenting
a continuous torment
torturing
incessantly
until, even with cessation
only a tenuous self
is present
leaving only the resin

The maniacal
manifestation
is an infestation
festering around in my head
Its existence,
a creation
created at inception,
hacking my brain
Forever a trap
creating a
maniac

Acrimonious
to all mankind
Not acting
like a man
Not one word
that's kind
Committing crimes
and getting oneself
committed
A deviation
creating a deviant
Shifted values
due to a devalued
self

An esoteric
essence
seemingly sentenced
on this journey
by judge and jury,
not by one's peers
because the many
not able
to peer
into this individuality
The duplicity
of duality
that is my reality

Challenging myself
to a dual
One in which
I both
win and lose
But in the end
not breaking even
or coming out ahead
Always ending
further back
instead

Its back breaking
and always aching
Pain from which
not capable of
faking
Effort I’m taking
Of myself making
Time for a new king
For kinsmanship
is aloof
And this man’s ship
has sailed away
Sipping a port
at a shipping port
And yet
slipping away

Deeper still
In the depth
of still water
Sinking
into the abyss
Lost and gone
But not missed
Is this the end
of our fable?
Or will our “hero”
enable himself
and in the end
be able
Deciding who to be?
Cain or Abel?
For the hurricane
is hurrying along
Its aim always the same
Constant pain
A payment he feels
for the displaced
placement
which just in case
is placed
same place
he went

Ink in the face
A disgrace
When suddenly
encased in his brain
are racing thoughts
of a plan
he’s ace’n

A label of insanity
given by those
who claim sanity
when the reality
is their thoughts are free
and optimize
a sanitized
and homogenized
batter
And in the end
it doesn’t matter

Offering suggestions
in which they
feel threatened
Pathways congested
and protested
Testing them
Even worse,
bested
A problem beset
upon them
Time to steady
the flock
Roll n’ Rock
Inoculations we’re getting
Start the injections

“It’s been an honor”
Mounting my Lipizzaner
A disarmer
A charmer
The armor
‘mi amor’
Leaving me
wanting more
But as they keep score
the task is daunting
A life that’s haunting
with such splendid decor
-
Yet, can’t take any more
Their taunting
is leaving me sore
So to the atmosphere
I open that door
and flying up above
I soar

Forever more
Feel pain no more...
Written: August 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
paige tenielle  Sep 2018
sadist.
paige tenielle Sep 2018
why wont you let me move on?
is it because you dont want me to?
you dont want me to find happiness
with someone else?
or are you just plain sadistic,
forcing this pain on me?

every time i think i can breathe,
there you are again
with your hands around my neck
cutting off my oxygen supply
making me lightheaded.

every time i try to move,
i realize my arms and legs have been tied down
and there you stand
taunting me at the end of the bed.

why do you have to be so cruel to me?
its probably because you know i live for the pain.
not just a metaphor.
Panda  Jan 4
Stillborn
Panda Jan 4
October 10, 1999
I lost a baby.
Mine.

A tragic noxious night.
It’s presence forever taunting.

For it is clear as is one sight.
A part of me died that night.

As my placenta fell to the floor, you were with me...
No more.
Panda~
A poem for Alexander Christopher
Colin Tuckett Sep 2010
Mock not my indiscretions.
Much can come from errored choice.
lessons oft come by misdirection,
So give me not the taunting voice.

Ask me when I am older
If my dreams have proven true.
Perhaps by then shall I be bolder,
Humbled e'en, maybe grateful too.

Should I never reach that status
Hold me not with disrespect.
Ask instead how life would shape us
Were we all so circumspect.

Do love me please for what I am.
Hold me dear for all I give you.
I really do the best I can,
Judge me not on what I should do.
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