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tumelo mogomotsi Sep 2016
after centuries and centuries and centuries of:
pain and suffering,
chains and ankle cuffing,
segregation and impossible laws,
human degredation and deaths for the cause,
coloured lines and last picks,
work in the mines and barbie-like wigs,
culture termination and the education of self-hate,
fake freedom motivation and penitentiary execution dates,
community sabatoge and destruction of black owned schemes,
settle down for hip hop dialogue and basketball dreams
racial slurs and monkey metaphors,
television blurs and the world shutting doors,
the white man's drugs and melanin filled prisons,
talent that lacks funds and vietnam missions,
death of our black icons and imprisonment of mandela
death of trayvon and others on the death list which could go on forever...

do you have the right to tell "bottom barrels" not to dream to be on the top?
do you wonder why forgiveness is slowly yielding in the world, as if it sees a sign that says it's time to stop?

do they not say we must practice what we preach?
are they not preaching hate?
are they not preaching inequality?
are they not preaching the false levels of life?

is it too hard for the world to practice equality?
is it too hard for the world to live in harmony?
is it too hard for the world to see the similarities in our differences?
is it too hard for the world to live without fear of colours?

is it too much to ask for peace???


- t.m
Sindi Kafazi Oct 2018
Preserve the past in me
Like a mummy I’ll bring my riches
to another world


My sabatoge is your secret weapon.

-Sindi Kafazi
ALamar  Apr 2016
Self-Sabatoge
ALamar Apr 2016
Hatred and self-inflictions extinguishes
Possibility of potential and opportunity
Strategies to sabotage ones own future lays waste to spiritual awakening
You made me feel guilty when I liked something
Kept me isolated from my sister, and other family
Told lies on me so society would hate me
Controlled me so that I'd act around others the way you planned
Sent me away to be fixed, because you said I was broken.
Pretended you cared, but that was just an act
Confused, scared and left me feeling insecure
Made me feel unwanted, not important and in your way
You called me names, ignored me and made demands
Drank and blamed it on me, but hid it from others
You were never a good mother because you abused me everyday of my life.
But you were the one who came out smelling like a rose
While I continue to suffer under your lies.

Copyright 2019
All rights reserved
Rose Jan 2016
hunger
like towering walls
of water

i won't give in though i
crave crave crave*


they won't let me get drunk
won't let me do drugs
won't let me do nothing
so nothing gets done


two miserly words
self sabatoge
Meka Boyle Aug 2012
Liquid silence flows between the cracks,
The awkward pauses and terse remarks ,
Of our cordial conversation.

My lips fumble as words  scratch at their soft corridor,
The taste of discomfort and failure is salty,
Yet reassuringly human- alive.

You didn't do anything wrong,
Your perfectly placed hesitations and irony
Fell stagnant in the bitter pool of my expectations.

You couldn't help the way things went,
Self sabatoge danced sweetly on my lips,
Fates sticky web couldn't hold back deliberation.

Being with you, in this room,
Is the epitome of wide open loniness-
The kind talked about in books and eulogies.

It's elusive presence envelops me
As sentences fumble out of my mouth like gravel:
Unclear and unintentional, too genuine to matter.

I'm not sure how much more I can handle,
How many perfectly sane stories I can to listen to
Without spilling off the brink of sanity.

It's not as bad as it seems out here,
There's something charming about being utterly alone,
Something unexplained and unattainable
In this wide open loneliness-
Let me be.
I cannot live with you here.
I despise you.
I hate everything about  you.
I wish  you would just  leave.
You hurt me
You  sabatoge me
You hate me.
I cant do it anymore
You  are damning my soul
Go away
Just
Go
Away
Kelly Hogan Sep 2016
My mind feels sick
Filled to the brim with self sabatoge
And a non-commital attitude.

Tears right on the edge
Of running down my cheek
And I say "running"
Because even they want to get away from me.

Then there's that exhaustion again
A sour feeling on my temples
And sore eyes from looking in the mirror.

Asking the big questions
I get nowhere
Will I ever find the answer
To why I can't let myself be happy?
Karisa Brown  Apr 2018
Hard laced
Karisa Brown Apr 2018
Hard
Nonsense
Plunk
Downpour

Survivor
Mcgiver
Adolesent
Boys

Jo­kster
Non lipstick
One night
Pool stick
Poker

Midnight
Lacing
Marvin Gaye
Caretaking

Independent
Fraught
National Awareness
Hault

Throat
Clinging
Midnight
Ringing

Gangsters
Para­dise

Parade stealing
Non stop fraud

Caught cha
Oops
Slipped into
Backwards u turn
Of self sabatoge
A  Sep 2019
Sink Me
A Sep 2019
Do you ever want to down?
Like, just ******* drown.
Maybe someone could hold me down
It feels good to drown

I am forced to make the bad decisions
like there was no option for good
I know it's self sabatoge
But man it feels good

You see,
The effort is the stressor

So hold me down
Please hold me down
I don't want to think right now

Because if you don't hold me down



I'll swim  



For how long?

-don't know.

Where?

-don't know.

Will I make it?

Will anyone care?


If I try to swim and don't make it, will anyone care?

Or

--wait---

I mean ridicule.
Will they ridicule me?

See,
That's why I need you.

Because it's all on you.
It's not my fault if I drown
If your hand pushes me down

I'll think about the stars I'll never see
I wouldn't see them regaurdless

Blacked out reality is quite easy
Swishing dreams in my mouth is easy


...


But if your arm gets tired
And I'm too hard to sink
Maybe we could swim together?

— The End —