Alexis POV:
My body is struggling to breath
I'm wearing your shirt
Remembering everything we had
All the laughs and all the fights
I would take all of that on again
Just to be with you
I miss you
I bet you have forgotten all about me Harry
I love you so much
I just wish you would feel the same about me
I thought you did
You said you did
And I was a fool to believe you
Our memories are flooding my eyes
I don't think you understand how much you meant to me
Mean*
You still mean everything to me
I love you
Please reply to me

My broken sobs
Are blocked out from the shower
The water running down my face
Like it has been for the past half hour

Am I that bad
Do you really hate me
That you think I cant be a friend
If you gave me a chance you would see

My breaths are stutters
I can barely inhale
I'm still in the shower
Crying about ** I am a miserable fail

You asked a question about me
"Whats so good about her?"
You'd think I wouldn't find out
I'm not hiding behind fur

You could just tell it to me
Not talk about me behind my back
Making me feel miserable
Waiting fr me to crack

Well congratulations
It is done
You've pushed me over the edge
Im reaching for the gun

Its coming nearer
I can only see it
No one notices
Not a single bit

My blade is sharper
More blood
Spreading everywhere
It will flood

My end is near
Time to end it all
Time to say goodbye
Time to let the blood pool

Its coming closer
I can feel it
The names are getting worse
Getting pushed in the grit

They have caused it
All the names
All the pushes
They think its all fun and games

The time is now
Im ready to go
Time to end the pain
So no one will know

When you knocked on my door
I quickly tried to hide myself
Even though its  crying
I didn’t want to worry you even more

You asked if you could come in
I replied quietly ‘sure’
You sat at the corner of my bed
Telling me it’s okay
That you’re by my side

You looked at me
Your face all concerned
You wiped the drooling mascara
And helped me up

I started to speak
But the tears started to flow again
You pulled me into a hug
And held me tight

I walk to the bathroom
You right behind me
I saw your reflection
In the ***** mirror
Your face all worried

You asked me if you could do anything
I sheepishly replied no
I wiped the rest of mascara and tears away
With a piece of toilet paper

I turned to apologise
But it all came out  mutated
And the tears started to fall

You pulled me tight
And told me it's okay
You laid my head in your shoulder
And helped me to the bed

You told me it wasn't my fault
It can happen sometimes
Miscarriages are normal
They can happen
Don’t let it hold you back

You held me in your arms
Until I started to fade into a light sleep
The whole night you were there
By my side
Protecting me

In the morning
You made me tea
And promised me
That we will try again

Later that year
I was 3 months pregnant
The doctor told me
I was going strong

Later that night
You held me tight
Told me not to worry
It will be alright

Your comfort
Your constant reassuring
Your special talks
Was all I needed

My tears stream
Down my face
As I think
Of how easily I can be replaced

My hands are trembling
Holding the blade
Is this worth
All of the scars I’ve made?

Then I remember
The people who taument me
Like Im emotionless
Just rid me of my glee

Every word you yelled
Every shove in the halls
Until Im crying
In the bathroom stalls

No one notices
They never will
All the pain you’ve caused
That I can’t ****

Then they wonder
Why Im dead on the ground
With my knife in my hand
And a note with blood all around

They are confused
Wondering why
Then they will all forget
And turn a blind eye

I’m all forgotten
Just like I new I would be

My flame used to shine bright
Thats until it happened
High school
I get judged everyday
I think everyone hates me
I get called nasty names
My family calls me fat
My flame was slowly going out
Like everyone one I liked was spraying water into it
I don't think i had any true friends
Apart from 2 or 3
Only 1 knows how I feel
But yes
My flame has gone out

My mum got a call
I wasn't supposed to listen
But I did
You have passed away
Hopefully without pain
Shes still on the phone
Not knowing that I know
I cant let her know
That Im choking back these tears
Why is everyone
Leaving this Earth
This year
I know you were old
And I know I have never seen you
Because you live so far away
But I love you dearly and I hope you are okay
I love you my nana
And forever will