I remember when we broke up
The door closed and the tears poured
You last words rang in my ears
Over and over how you miss the goodbye kiss
But I'm over here wishing to turn to mist
My heart shattered for the first time that night
But I was unaware of journey that began that night

Trying hard to forget you
Trying hard not to say your name
Or even remember your smiling face

The pain i feel in my heart is slowly tearing me apart
I don't know how this all started but i know how it will end

I feel the tears falling down my face
Just like how the stars shatter in space

Even though i am sad
I remind myself that i am me
And that is all i ever hope to be

The door is locked and im banging just to get out
The walls are closing in and im screaming my lungs out
Its so dark since the light has been snuffed out
I can't breathe! i can't breathe!
Please someone get me out
God please help me out
But he's been long gone since the fear Spread it out
Why is this happening, why me
I been good for so long but now my lungs want to bust out
The cuts are reappearing
The blood is pouring out
I just want one day for the voices to calm down
I just want to live but They keep egging me on
"No one loves you, no one cares
Let your heart stop now"
This depression it urges me to call out
But who is there to hear you when the darkness stomps you down

How lucky am i to see the sun today
Lucky to hear the birds sing along with the buzzing of the bees
Lucky to feel the wind tickle my cheeks
Lucky to smell the ocean breeze and feel the sand beneath my feet
How lucky am i to feel alive and full of glee

It hurts to know you aren't here anymore
To not feel your lips move across my neck
And up to my lips
It hurts to know that I'll never hear "I love you"or all those sweet lies you once told me while smiling at me
It hurts to know that I'll never feel the warmth from your embrace
Since all i know now is the cold from you not being here
It hurts to know that you are dead and gone.
But I'm still stuck here wishing i was still with you.

I wish i could take back the words that were said
They hurt more than they should have
Our friendship crashed into the void of silence
For what? For a meaningless object that has little to no value over what was losted
I wish i could rewind time and fix what is now broken
The tears that swell up and the heart break deep in my chest

Is it something that can make us feel that
time has slowed down when we look at someone?
Is it something that makes us feel that the world is crumbling at our feet?
Is it something that can make it so hard for us to breathe that feel that our lungs are about collapse?
Is it something  that can make you feel that you finally found the one thing that makes you feel that you are finally complete?

Love is the one thing that can make you feel happy, sad, hurt and complete at one time after another

Beautiful flower poem in japanese:

Utsukushi hana:

Utsukushi hana no yona
Sore wa chimei-tekina kakusa reta toge o motte iru
Utsu no o matte iru
Umareta bakarita jinsei o shuryo suru
Hayai, sore o haishutsu suru
Sore ga kanso suu tame ni
Jinsei o mite kare
Fuyu wa kono michi o kuru toki,-suki
Katsute atatakakatta subete no seimei o korosu
Sore wa taikutsu ***** ita toyuu riyu dakede
Sono utsukushii hana
Sore no tame ni jinsei
Meiwakuna hachi no yona monodesu

Like a beautiful flower
That has deadly hidden thorns
waiting to strike
To end the life that has just been born
To drain it fast
To **** it dry
To watch the life wither away
Like when winter comes this way
Kills all the life that was once warm
Just because it was bored
That beautiful flower
Kills all that it sees
Because life to it
Is like a annoying bee

Who am I
this runs though my head
haunts my every thought
maybe it just haunts me
am I real
am I fake
am I that person who others want around
or am I that person no one likes

am I letting this fear, control me
or is it just haunting me
waiting for me to snap
or to crack under pressure
to summit to it

I try to fight back
but all I see are the cracks
the cracks around me, just waiting to snap
so I'll fall down
so I'll relapse
and crawl back
to that insecurity
to that question
that I always ask
Who am I

I stare at you but you only see a wall
I call you but you only hear wind
I try to touch you but my hand goes through
I try to kiss you but you walk away

You stare at the wall hoping to see me
You hear wind when you think its me calling you
You feel something touch you but you see nothing
You feel softness on your lips but nothing is there

I watch you walk away with tears in my eyes
I can only stand here with arms out hoping you coming
I try to confess my love to you but you can't see me
I keep hoping you will see me and my love

You start to walk away with tears trying to fall
You want to stop and wait but you can't hope any more
You want to confess all of your love but there is no one to see it
You keep wanting to love but hoping is all you can do

I start to chase you even though
I know its useless I start to scream your name even thoughI know you can't hear it
I start to understand why you can't see me
I know why I can't touch you

You start to run back  even though you know its useless
You start to scream even though there is no one there
You start to understand why you can't see anyone
You know why no one is there

I am Invisible and You can't see me



They are Invisible and all you can see is nothing

You stare at the wall hoping to see me
You hear wind when you think its me calling you
You feel something touch you but you see nothing
You feel softness on your lips but nothing is there

You start to walk away with tears trying to fall
You want to stop and wait but you can't hope any more
You want to confess all of your love but there is no one to see it
You keep wanting to love but hoping is all you can do

You start to run back  even though you know its useless
You start to scream even though there is no one there
You start to understand why you can't see anyone
You know why no one is there

They are Invisible and all you can see is nothing

I stare at you but you only see a wall
I call you but you only hear wind
I try to touch you but my hand goes through
I try to kiss you but you walk away

I watch you walk away with tears in my eyes
I can only stand here with arms out hoping you coming
I try to confess my love to you but you can't see me
I keep hoping you will see me and my love

I start to chase you even though I know its useless
I start to scream your name even though I know you can't hear it
I start to understand why you can't see me
I know why I can't touch you

I am Invisible and You can't see me

I am as free as I can be
like a rose in a tree
but why is it that i am in a tree
in steady of being with thee
other roses down below
cause i was rejected by my fellows roses

but am i really a rose
when i am so cold
but all i want is to be free
free like a bee or tree
but a bee kills
and a tree stands still

i wonder what i want
when i speak these words
some see raps or words
but these are my feelings
and the pain still lingers
here on my small fingers

I say i want love
but who's love to i seek
is it my friends
or God's that i try to reach

this poem is coming to an end
but its not dead yet
as I cry out to my father

I ask him why he forsaken me
But did God really forsaken me
leave me, ignore me

or was it me that forgot Him
the one who saved me
made me, created me

this isn't a dream
but a painful  reality

I'm dying tonight
but that's alright
I'm so imperfect
I'm a sickening site
how am I suppose to free when i am dying
i sin everyday and falling further away
how am i suppose to get back on path
when it's so dark i can't even laugh
tears are falling
I’m going insane
why do i have to be this imperfect thing
why can't i be sane
i see those people dying on the street
sometimes i ask why isn't that me
I’m so unhappy, so alone
the people around me don't even come close
to the pain i feel
its so real
tonight the night
I'm gonna do it alright
die right here and the fears be clear
cause i can't look in the mirror
I’m such a pathetic site
crying out,
scream in fright
all i ask is for that hand in site
of that beautiful one called Jesus Christ
to help me wash these sin away
so the pain will leave me some day

There is a boy staring at a glass wall
looking at a girl
her eyes and smile makes his heart go wild
There is a girl staring at a glass wall
looking back at the boy
his beauty catches  her heart by surprise
They are in love but can not be together
because the glass wall will not shatter
like their parents hatred for each other
day after day they look at each other
yearning to feel the other
skin for skin, lips for lips
their hearts never miss a beat
soon pain of separation comes
it nips at their hearts
it is too  much to bear
but they stay by the wall and stare
then the boy pull out a gun
starts to shoot the glass wall
bullets prove to be no match for it
the girl grabs a bat thinking smashing it will match
the glass wall still will not come down
they are not a match for it
the glass wall is just to strong
there is only one thing that can beat it
where they finally can be at peace
death is where they can meet and be free
two shots are heard
with dripping next
the lovers die and meet
in the beautiful world
of the next

In my head many things happen
many thoughts go in and out
all those good memories
all the ones with pain and tears
so many fears that bring more tears
the feeling of being alone
knowing that no one knows
the pain one feels
but can't express
can't show it on the outside
only on the inside
all those fake smiles
saying that your okay
but the truth you are in pain
you are the one crying at night
the fright that is eating you alive
but at the end of the night
are you really alive?

I’ll never fall in love again
after all the pain you cause
I’ll never be the same
just like de ja vu
the pain comes running though
knowing that we though
I lost what i had
It will never come back
that's all i think about
you were the fire that burned me
as i was the rose that was crushed
the heart that was broken
into thousands
still you had the guts to say let’s be friends
but in the end you were the one
that left me
broke me
crushed me
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never be the same again
when i see  you
like de ja vu
the pain comes running though
you where the fire that burned me