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Roberta Day Jun 2012
The condensed pressure

of arithmetic has been

alleviated
Roberta Day Oct 2011
"...And out of nowhere, she got sad and anti-social and wanted nothing more than to leave. It came out of nowhere, as it often does, and takes a while to leave. It especially likes to appear when certain depressants are involved, and when the memories of a better time begin to play in her mind.

The sight of them makes her stomach churn and all of her emotions turn sour. She then longs to find something -- anything -- as a distraction; she begins thinking of excuses to depart the loathed scene before her.

She pities herself, for continuing to feel hope. She dislikes herself for feeling misogynistic. She so desperately wants what she can't -- and seemingly never will -- have again. It kills her deeply to still feel these feelings after all this time.

Said feelings were supposedly detachable, so why not detach herself again?

It's always easier said than done."
Roberta Day Oct 2014
Cozy wool sweater
the weather is fine and dandy
the sky is a matte
of the ocean blue
similar in color to your eye's hue
   Thinking of your smiles
   warms me like your hugs do
To stay cool
I picture days, breezy and serene
I draw two figures laughing, holding onto
each other, radiating passionate pleas
of exclusivity. I want to kiss you
in front of others, I am tired of
hiding my affection, with so many over time;
I want to freely call one mine.
Roberta Day May 2013
I remember at the party
as blurry as it all was
when you kissed me through my tears
and startled me
I was angry
angry because I took the blame
for the tickets we all received
and you kissed me
I was too blinded by *** to see how romantic
and how sweet your gesture of sympathy
really was, objectively;
internally I was not ready, for reasons
unclear even to myself
(to sum,
I was young and dumb
and frightened of affection)
but even now, a year or two later
I think about your eyes, sparkling
and wired, intimidating and intriguing;
I think about your posture, your wit,
your cyclist thighs,
and wonder why I didn’t think
you were a catch of a guy
I **** at titles.
Roberta Day Aug 2011
Why do we reach for satisfaction when we inevitably fail?
Why do we question what we're supposed to hail?
Why don't we know what comes after our bitter end?
Why are we coached to smile and pretend?

From the time we are born to the time we die
We question if the life we're living is a lie
Is there more to it than money and greed?
Shouldn't answers be something we need?

Life is a game and we are controlled
Controlled by a higher power that has yet to be told
A voice stays in our minds, forever spewing nonsense
Reminding us of the time we have left and the time we've spent

We've read all the books, we've practiced all the faith
Yet no true answers are revealed about our fate
So we continue to reach, and inevitably fall
And wonder if there is something to catch us at all
Roberta Day Mar 2014
I’ve had my poise dipped by another wick
and your flicking gaze singes my threading
and I burn slow, spiral hazing up your nostrils
to your system of compounds dictating your
responses and I wait in trepidation for the short
spark in your eyes to fizzle before it strikes me
as an attempt to reignite a dull fuse that’s been
watered down by the waves of passionate chemical
reactions spontaneously combusting for reasons
different from you or I and cannot explain nor deny
the fact my wick for you won’t light
Roberta Day Jul 2014
I don't want to write about you.
Orange and greens
   Filtered means
Diluted--dreams
                 reality
tangibly mixing me
  up inside
Resuming to prove to you--Me
I control my self-worth
I am not alone on this earth
   Only in temple
   What is simple
   and complex; I am
perplexed in this life
These nerves--the nerve
of them, vibrating exponentially
causing imbalanced beams
  to teeter and totter,
tearing apart the seems
that once held together
the molding of what
   I am to be
Title may change.
Roberta Day Nov 2012
December;
Biting cold
Stinging regrets
A year's entirety
Lost in the threads
Of space and time
One more year rubbed from your life-line

Less hearts to warm
Less gatherings to endure
Tinsel glistens in the draft
Prickly pine needles stab
Dry, calloused, aging hands
The tale of Bethlehem
does not explain who I am
or where I'm going
Is it easier, knowing?
Every question answered as the wind's blowing,
roads and trees groaning

The end of the beginning of the rest of your life
We embrace with lists of grandeur
Resolutions ****
From the root
An autumn fade,
A crack change
Like we found all the chilling answers
to our silent questions
in the dead December air
Roberta Day Jun 2014
There’s magic in your easter egg shirt
just the threads make my stomach churn
in your bed, garments on the floor
making music behind your bedroom door
sweeter than anything else before
want to tell you that I wanted some more
watching you saunter ‘cross the floor
can’t wait to tickle your fancy

There’s magic in the words that you speak,
when they’re spoken, in my knees I get weak
all night long I’d listen to you breathe
just so I know that you’re here with me
I miss you more right after you leave
pulling all these words out of my sleeve
your magnetic gestures lead me to believe
I am the right sock to your two left feet
Roberta Day May 2014
I know you
I observe you
I see you glance,
ignore, set down
your phone
your instrument of connection
I see you evade certain conversations
I know your game,
your technique
I know you
I don’t know
however,
why you tell me things
of great magnitude
if you know me
and how they resonate
and stick with me
I’ve confided in you
my most vulnerable moments
you had a spotlight shining
on my every detail
and used it against me
my skin made of braille
I know you’re not
conniving, just thriving
for the human experience
but I ask, will you think
with your heart
and save room for
a fresh start
rather ******* ****
romances for the last bit
of bitterness
when it’s nothing sweet to
me or you?
Roberta Day Jan 2015
Why waste all these
words on you when you can't even
open my snapchats?
More like "won't."
Roberta Day Sep 2011
The web sways, but it doth venture away
It stays, as it may, catching creatures that play
Waiting for that one day you and I may meet

Stuck in this sticky essence with no place for our feet
We cannot escape our fate that awaits
To be devoured by an arachnid, no pleas will be accepted
Can we stall what is to come?

Our wings have failed to keep us alive
We've flown right into a trap, like a bear to a bee hive
An exchange of words would be nice...
Even an, "Everything will be alright."

Nothing is fine when you've met your maker
Everything will seem inadequate
Nothing can fill the slot

You hold my hand as I hold my breath
If it were to escape, our death would be meaningless
For I would have soiled the best of the worst
I cannot break this wretched curse

The bite doth cause me agony, but my inability to let it be
My hand slips from yours, my eyes can't see
How strange to die alone when I'm with company
This was inspired by a spider web and the odd situations I tend to get myself in.
Roberta Day Sep 2013
Sensual this time, platonic the next—
let’s not be one too often
regardless of optional ***

Let’s keep things spaced     out
so emotions don’t grow    too strong
You may have the right intentions,
but these notions are wrong

Don’t tickle my complex
into laughing away current issues
    I want to say “I love you”
    and suffice for “I miss you”
   The last thing I want to do
   is overwhelm you with words
you’re not accustomed to
so I’ll snuggle you closer,
as close as two beings can be,
and imagine bonding our skin
fusing intricately

   I connect with you
  on another plane
   and I’m dependent upon
your amorous pain

and I wish and hope and
inevitably know there’s not
a chance between us again
when we’ll be anything more than
just friends (here and then)
   because you and I are going
   through the same stages of life
   simultaneously, yet
   alone and lonely
Roberta Day Dec 2012
When it rains it pours,
and when your frame
plays through the reel
behind my glossy eyes
there’s bound to be a storm.

I grow weary of dreaming
I’m floating on highs
exhausting every last one
of these stifled sighs

You’re the breath
caught in my sore throat
scratching and suffocating
I’ll hold my breath so I may choke

You never listened when I spoke
About a BOY
Roberta Day Feb 2015
I'm over trying to satisfy
your insatiable expectations
I'm sorry only because I've
wasted so much of myself
with lying and hallucinations
truth disguised with binding ties
of desperate adoration
now I can see that I was
nothing you could ever want
but you knew not how to tell
Intuition and observation
served me rather well
but doubt is a black lake
an ominous void that
invalidates what I need to
be told so I'm hanging on
to rowing oars and reeling
through frigid cold to be released
back into the unknown known
Roberta Day Sep 2013
Complacency has touched me
in the most awkward of ways
sighing between strums of minor rests
sending ringing open E’s to reverberate
through my chest
I love to listen to the
sounds I create in order:
    EBEG#bE
flicking and flapping,
a green brain pic clapping against
golden steel strings
and the spruce sings
a harmonious song—
***** California and the
words you get wrong
notes that sound strong
and remind the mind of how
heavenly sequence can be
    EBEG#bE
A poem inspired by a song in a different tuning.
Roberta Day Aug 2011
When times get rough, we try to break and run
There's nothing to fear but fear itself
You can't succeed if you don't try
Positive thinking will work wonders

I can't help but make things awkward
I'm unsure of how to act
I still perceive you as mine
It's hard letting go, I'm slipping off track

It seems solitude won't help us grow
It obviously hasn't worked before
Why not depend on each other?
There's always something more

I believe we can do this, together
Join forces, slay our demons
A change is gonna come
Let's sail through this stormy weather

I'll be your crutch if you be my sight
I won't give up without a fight
I implore you to reconsider
I can help you see the light

Take my hand, teamwork never fails
I promise we won't lose each other
We'll discover all what this entails
And experience happiness within ourselves
Roberta Day Mar 2015
all day on the brink
saline hinging on lashes
reading minds far away
fortune-telling actions
and overgeneralizing
filtering the nonsense
to make room for the
  nonsensical
minimizing positivity
maximizing black and
white negatives
focusing on despair
internal anguish;
vicious cycle of
irrationality
automatically
a day in the life
inside of me
I'm reading this self-help for depression book called Feeling Good.
Roberta Day Aug 2018
Orange captures
Green soothes
Blue mellows
Red moves

Yellow calms
White blinds
Brown warms
Black binds
Roberta Day Nov 2013
My skin is eight different kinds of dry
my fingers shorting like circuits
my mind ventured near permafried
but boosts of serotonin were worth it

My hands didn't get enough
of the good time beneath those layers
They were timid and shaky, too coy
for your self-assured bares

I can't paint the picture of you and I
the canvas is blank until colors collide
wide strokes of red to signify the
passion bleeding from my insides

I'm on the edge of my seat
precariously perched
anxiously gripping the edge
of your tousled and wrinkled shirt

I've waited for you to catch on
but oblivion runs deep, my dear
I'll speak my mind, loud and clear
It is you I want; I want you here
Roberta Day Jul 2014
I crave you
more often than I
crave delicious fruit
I always want my citrus
thirst-quenching juiciness
but I’ll take vitamin D over vitamin C
and save ripened tangerines
for when I’m feeling a little weak
in the knees after squeezing your
blooms—good enough to eat
The prompt was Tangerine, I believe.
Roberta Day Jan 2013
I dip my head
to avert your eyes
every time we pass
I hold my breath
to prevent from speaking
and proving myself an ***
I pretend I know
what you think of me,
that I’m strange and unappealing
I fear I’ve blown
any chance at knowing you
and sharing these feelings
About a co-worker.
Roberta Day Apr 2013
I relate to everyone I meet
even though I have not walked in their shoes
I dig deep and connect via raised brows
and sincere solemnity

If a tear is shed, I may shed one too
but after the moment has passed
My reaction time is set to delay
so intake is at the highest of caliber

I feel like I’ve forgotten how to convey
the fleeting feelings fired from fraying fibers
residing in mushy tissue

Understanding is not my issue
   Being definite is
I mold and shift, like a contortionist
and cease to untwist when coming undone
Roberta Day Aug 2011
My love for you knows no bounds
Regardless of how upsetting you tend to be
One more confession following one more round
I'm far from blind but can't quite see

A connection I miss, intimacy and truth
Your voice was music to my ears
Essentially we are now escaping our youth
Mentally, you've got a couple more years

Promises were made that cease to exist
(Promises were made to be broken?)
I disagree though, I'm to blame for this
Fear is my ailment for why I haven't spoken

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself"
Straight from the horse's mouth
I've failed to comply with my word as well
Still filled with excess doubt

You managed to remove that away from a while
Guaranteed, a job well done
With even just a crack of a smile
I received my prize, I proudly won

The game is over, no lives left
No mushrooms to revive me now
If it was that simple, I'd hit 'select'
And 'retry' with better understanding how

Starting over begins the same
But the direction and obstacles change
A new route is followed in vain
For not enough experienced has been gained

You're such a charmer, I know
I still haven't fully broken your spell
I'm currently trying my hand at laying low
I question your thoughts; by now you should know me well

I want inside your head and heart
Where does your pain emerge from?
My curiosity is insatiable once I've felt a spark
I will continue to listen until your confession is done

I don't force a smile, but it's not completely real
I can maintain being civil with you
When you attempt to hide things you failed to conceal
My submissive attitude is what I must subdue

Why do I continue to feel this ache?
Does mental illness play a possible factor?
The idea of romanctic love I can't seem to shake
Yet if it's real, it inevitably won't matter

According to them, I don't know who you are
Yet I feel I've known all along
And even so, I've fallen this hard
I simply hope you'll still play me that song
Oh yeah, I play video games.
Roberta Day Nov 2014
I see your face when coming undone
And it’s only a distant memory
When I remember to forget you, I wonder
   did you forget to remember me?
I answer my own questions because
you’re not here to do so,
but my answers aren’t uplifting, they only
keep me down and feeling low.
When you’re working, eating, sleeping,
   I’m working, eating, dreaming
of the day, the instance, the moment
when two clicks sound of two brains connecting,
so when silence engulfs, I’m not predicting
my future without your decrepit words
I cremated in the bones of ineffable warmth.
   I wanted different things for us
and you wanted different things for you
I’m trying to figure out who gets what they want,
because I certainly never do.
Roberta Day Jan 2012
So numb
and heavy,
eyelids flutter shut
turmoil within my gut
peach scented tea
howling for me,
wafting my way
all thanks to you

Breakfast is important
that you've taught me;
It vitalizes me, your

      favorite kind of day

thank you dear for coming my way
I appreciate this sweet gesture,
you are one too kind;
won't you bring me donuts every day?

          *For you, I don't mind
Roberta Day Jan 2012
All of a sudden,
something is aloof
The air becomes stale,
like the bread of sourdough;
you refuse to walk through
the garden overgrown, infested with
insecurities and a plethora of doubt
           I  believed you to be
           a recipe I figured out
I'm left teetering on my toes
as vehemence in me grows
and the mystery within you
is unfortunately never shown

Riddle me your chivalry's
whereabouts as of late
You're good at concealing
all that you're feeling
I remember when you were sweet,
     like the aura we would create
           like the donuts you brought me;
           a dozen sugar-coated holes and
           one lone blueberry
My insides have been fried
in a hot mess called love,
and a dozen-sugar coated holes
from you my dear, was
considerably enough
Part three.
Roberta Day Jan 2012
Picked freshly from the
garden of my newfangled
burning infatuation for you,
a fine blanket of lettuce,
to suit my modest request
This evening holds meaning,
accented with wine of white
over candlelight,
delicious Italian dining tonight
You do me well,
you know you do

Scorching days
turn to chilly nights
We are but two spoons,
failing to convect heat
to warm each other’s souls
and hands, which I kept
moisturized, for us;
scented fingers of vanilla
caress uniquely speckled skin
Genuine fascination
in everything
that is
*you
Roberta Day Nov 2012
In my sleep, we walked
along the dampened street
under the moon's influential glow
We stopped and stared, analyzing each
other's  features we used to know

I did not care where we went
I only wanted my time spent with you,
doing what we never had the chance to do

I could feel the warmth from your skin
even after my eyes had opened
The corners of my mouth were curved
When I realized it was only a dream,
I sighed only one word: Why?
Roberta Day Jan 2013
Please, oh please
can you spare a drop
of the liquid flowing through you,
dripping down your sweet ****?

I am quite parched
I’ve been barren for months
Please can I drink in
your billowy lumps?

Pour into my crevasse
Make me bloom with life
Moisturize the cracks I’ve earned
from loneliness and strife

I’m a desolate island
desperate for nature’s touch
but too far from land
for one shower to be enough
Wrote this while inebriated eheh.
Roberta Day Jun 2023
Allowing the dust to settle
And the hovering mist to part
You can't live inside of my mind,
There's more space for you in my heart

I keep myself busy to stay aflame
While the world slowly turns
I'm sprinting through days that blur
And suffering through the burns

Toggling between elation and insecurity
Emotions aren't permanent, only temporary
Experience has taught me everyone goes eventually

Resilient to adversity shrouding me
In its tethering web of prickly hairs
Mourning the nascence of elation
And all of the splendor it bewares
A cocktail of hormones straight to the dome
Nostalgia hitting in waves

Dragging me back in time to those hopeless romantic days
Anxious attachment style here.
Roberta Day Sep 2013
The smell of your skin
is too familiar
It’s almost like we’ve
gone back in time
   To the days when I could
   caress my favorite features
   of yours—your hands—
   without a second thought
but I’m wondering if
this is too much, if I’m
crossing a line, or
if I’m zig-zagging streams
on the bar graph of time
and a calamitous end
will meet all entangled

Your strengthening grip
on my hip assures me though,
that nothing outside of this
firm mattress covered by
sky blue sheets with bleach stained clouds
matters—at all—so let’s lay here
for ten hours straight
and bask in the warmth
of each other’s glowing souls,
reconnected at last,
   with old questions drowning
  in the abyss of the unknown
because why would I ruin a
moment so perfect as this?
Roberta Day Jan 2015
I dreamt of slow-dancing
and we waltzed until I woke
Hazy scent of desires unspoke
I, mangled with your absence,
breathe a mere thought of
reality's biting grip and rip
the blanket from my bones
Naked and exposed, more
vulnerable and assured
than ever to disclose
those tender tickles
I feel when in repose,
visceral and verbose
I spew black for it's
pronounced and bold
amplifying the dark hold
melted to my frame
Bursting free, finally
with a pounding chest,
primary shades to express,
and fear tentatively at rest
Your hand in mine gives
a soft and slow caress
and I exhale our dance
of coalesce.
Roberta Day Apr 2015
Panning down hills,
coasting behind the scenes
of unfamiliar streets in
the backseat of navigation
 voice singing with elation
no nerves or trepidation
of immersion into new
Branching out on a blank canvas,
chasing the dream evading me
surroundings barking with
flying furs carried by winds drier
than my knees, with every
direction a different path
a secret passage to self-reflection
Ready to erupt, to spew the flow
of a different viewpoint--a change
in an ever-changing mind
I hope to find
I move to Austin this Friday and couldn't be more stoked.
Roberta Day Dec 2014
Your beauty is unmatched
your essence unscathed
you could wrap me in your curls
and leave me bound for days
The thick bristles on your face
resemble a forest to discovery,
your mouth a cave to explore
lighting the way with electricity
generating from our rapport
Sweeter than a glob of icing
on the last slice of cake—
Your twisted expressions
make my chest quake
You’re a lot to take in—clean cut nails
and pasty speckled skin; the
trail of hair on your belly and
your form soundly sleeping
where our motions had been
Now you are far a fields away
frolicking in colorless grass,
lost and in denial of what
you could have made last.
Been in my drafts for too long.
Roberta Day May 2014
Time has molded each of us
into the perfect shape,
has defined our edges finely,
has smoothed our surfaces so slick so
we may slide into one another
and make a perfect fit.
Roberta Day Oct 2012
Hot flashes
of caring gestures,
warming tender hearts
pass before the act
can commense
Cold chills
of lonliness
visions of pity
spike blood—
prepare for the wave
of debilitating repetition
Roberta Day Jun 2014
The future is a sparkle
a firework feeling in my hands
that billows out and expands
to flash multicolored wants
       while crackling needs
I hope it blows our minds
    exploding blissfully
before our eyes
painting the sky with
our names in starry white;
Innocence revisited,
awakened by possibility
Roberta Day Jul 2014
I will pour myself
like coffee in your morning cup
and tickle your nose
with my greeting aroma
I will wisp my steam
through your nasal passages
stimulating your system
of sluggish nerves
I will listen to you,
  my favorite song,
keeping beat with my heart,
harmonizing with your hum,
lulling me to sweet oblivion
I will forgive you
as one forgives oneself
because we are human,
vulnerable and feckless
  lonely and restless;
I will lay beside you
all season until sunrise
when light peeks through shade
and fire burns in our eyes
I will fall deep down
the well in your iris
and find myself inside
  guiding us both
towards essential growth,
to intertangle like vines
Roberta Day Dec 2016
Pounding heads and churning guts lie
next to me on an old quilt under fleece
Still stuffy air enters heavy lungs and leaves
Coming over the hill behind the sea
was an overwhelming sight to see
Endless gray intersecting with sky
reflecting backward and forwards
where perspective meets the eye
Rotted plankwood will lead to demise
executed by jagged shore rock and waves
carrying one away to the ephemeral light
bobbing below the surface that fades
Out with the old days to make room for new,
recounting last year’s glaze
Remembering like it was yesterday
how sick you’d gotten so soon
A tender heart I’ll always have,
and an old, nurturing soul, too
Awakened by life with fresh eyes,
stimulating a walk to take with you
Started this last year at Christmas time, wrote the last eight lines two nights ago.
Roberta Day Sep 2017
Incapacitated
Dilapidated
The words don’t come
Like they used to
Swimming in fears to
Get those ears unclogged
From years of silencing the self
What new Hell is this?
Purging emotion as if it’s
...All that’s left
How did I make it through before?
I do regret wishing I was happy
I still feel empty inside,
And this was the desired result
Or maybe when the moon turns I’m meant
To be reminded of my humanity
And take the world on, resting on my back
To continue to be strong
To remember the importance of feeling
So that I do not lose myself to create
An apathetic state of emergency
Then what good will emerge from me?
Roberta Day Jun 2014
This heat makes my pores perspire,
   makes my skin itch
There’s not enough water to quench
  my internal thirst
Basking or baking—
bubbling, irritated flesh,
deliciously inviting
minuscule beasts to feast upon
The sun beats me,
whacking me with its rays
  melting for half a day’s pay
I’ll be a puddle on the floor
swimming through cracks in
the cement. Work is a
"tradition" I often lament
Wrote this at work.
Roberta Day Oct 2014
Sugar free
take a sip of me
for the last week
is the last week
I’ve decided to care
about you or me
or anything we perceive
that’s right, it’s over
It’s All Over
or is soon set to be
as far as you’re concerned—
I’m not. I’ve concluded
we’re all damaged goods
we’re all in over our heads
we’re all unrealistic dreamers
we’re all toxic fumes, killing ourselves
slowly and everyone else with every breath
Balance is necessary but in which department
I forget—-thus is the reason I am still who I was
and cannot proceed to find this “love”
Roberta Day May 2012
Step back, away from my zone
of comfort; your presence stands
my hairs on end, and I pretend
I am not annoyed, but what good is
subtle sarcasm and lackadaisical
tone when speaking to an outdated
mindset with little room left to grow
if the satisfaction of your reaction is
not delivered nor comprehended?
Roberta Day Apr 2013
Back when James Bond
and Indiana Jones were favorites
among the household,
and breakfast sizzled to tickle me
out of bed, and when cartoons
were at the perfect time of day
after long hours of instruction—
those days are gone,
replaced by weeks condensed
with indifference towards each other,
and echoing anguish off of unfinished floors,
and harping about the price of fuel—
Back when felines were abundant
to love and protect like the family they became
until they were given a new home while I was away,
and activities were shared with no such thought,
and the bottles of chardonnay were less often—
before the switch flipped, before the filter dissolved,
before critical understanding of the complexities
and intricacies of life and human nature;
Growing pains are the realizations
that not everything is as it was,
and there isn’t a way to return
Roberta Day Apr 2014
Trading breaking hearts
for hearts already broken—
from your chest to mine
Roberta Day Apr 2014
Time is unending
while my little hand of a
heart is stuck on you.
Roberta Day Apr 2015
New Home Depot store
Bearded man cuties galore
Eye candy is real
Roberta Day Apr 2012
I looked to the sun

and instead of finding light,

I lost my vision
Roberta Day Apr 2015
A beautiful day
to become aroused; waiting
Anticipating
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