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Sep 2015 · 498
Equinox
Riley Lavender Sep 2015
The smell of damp leaves
whirls around me
There's a chill in the air
and a sense of mischief
in the sway of the trees

It's coming
*It's coming...
Aug 2015 · 693
One of Those Days
Riley Lavender Aug 2015
One of those days
where the tears sit
poised to fall

One of those days
where your heart
curls up into a ball

One of those days
where the need to retreat
is almost too strong to resist

One of those days
where you really
just need an
EXIT

One of those days
where basic human interaction
is a struggle

One of those days
where life just feels
like too much to juggle

One of those days
where your brain feels
like it's going to riot

One of those days
where you really just
want to be
quiet

One of those days
where you can't tell
if any of it is real
or all in your mind

One of those days
where you really
just don't want to be kind

One of those days
where you don't feel
too stable

One of those days
where you just want
to be
i n v i s i b l e

It's just one of those days
Know what I mean?
Jul 2015 · 364
Leave Me Be
Riley Lavender Jul 2015
Your name
haaaaaaunts
the dark recesses
of my mind
And I can't
ignore it
anymore
Jun 2015 · 768
My Anxiety Says
Riley Lavender Jun 2015
"No one cares
about your words"
Teala Mangano © 2015
May 2015 · 653
Peace
Riley Lavender May 2015
When the day to day
becomes too much
you are the quiet calm
waiting on the other side
May 2015 · 425
Wandering (10W)
Riley Lavender May 2015
Lost
in my own mind
today

Do not
disturb me
Feb 2015 · 555
Perfection
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
Whenever I need
a little sunshine
I look at you
and watch you radiate love
Feb 2015 · 926
Sated
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
"I bought books,"
I confessed.
"You have no money.
Why are you buying more books?"
they demanded to know.
"Because I was hungry."
Teala Mangano © 2015
Feb 2015 · 549
Enough
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
I feel good enough
in your gaze
Feb 2015 · 509
Serenity
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
All my fears
All my doubts
All my insecurities
are put to bed
when you look at me
Teala Mangano © 2015
Feb 2015 · 333
In Your Arms
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
In your arms
there is a subtle feeling
that all is right in the world
Teala Mangano © 2015
Feb 2015 · 199
Done
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
I wish I could tell you
that I hate you

I wish I could tell you
that your memory
fills me with rage

I wish I could tell you
that I hope
you find happiness

I wish I could tell you
that I want
nothing but the best for you

I wish I could tell you
that I feel
anything at all

But I can't.

Because I don't.
Feb 2015 · 304
No Brainer
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
He and I
have a love
that refuses to die

You and I
were a flash in the pan

Is it really a surprise
that I chose him over you?
Jan 2015 · 627
Losing Hope
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
Am I ever
gonna be enough
just as I am?
Jan 2015 · 1.9k
Starvation
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
Your love
has left me malnourished
and begging for scraps
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
Grey Skies
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
And so it sets in again
That same old melancholy
Dec 2014 · 487
Fighter
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
I refuse to let you
pull me down

When I think of you
I'll put on a happy song
and dance

When I think of you
I'll paint a picture of a sunset

When I think of you
I'll belt out show tunes

When I think of you
I'll put on a funny movie
and laugh until my sides hurt

I won't collapse into tears
I won't whisper your name
into the night
I won't stop eating
I won't stop sleeping

When I think of you
I will fight your memory

I refuse to let you pull me down
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
Nothingness
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
You're gone
and you're happy
and I'm still just...here
Dec 2014 · 485
Bibliophile
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
If the written word
ceased to exist
I would end with it
Dec 2014 · 622
Christmas Blues (10w)
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
Surrounded
by bright holiday joy
But I just feel
e  m  p  t  y
Nov 2014 · 336
Holiday Realizations
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
I can sit here
and roll my eyes
and pretend like it doesn't hurt
But the truth is
I'm *heartbroken
Nov 2014 · 735
Writer's Block
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
Hemingway said
that writing is easy
"All you do
is sit down at a typewriter
and bleed."

But sometimes
bleeding can be
the hardest thing to do
Nov 2014 · 423
Conclusions
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
you left.
you pushed me away.
like what we had was nothing.
like i was nothing.
said you didn't need me.
said you had to do this alone.

you promised it would be different.
you asked for a second chance.
one fight,
and you threw in the towel.
like your apologies meant nothing.
like i meant nothing.

i can only conclude that it's true.
i was never anything to you.
Sometimes you just need to write it out. I'll probably end up taking this down.
Nov 2014 · 8.5k
Escape
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
i want to move to a big city
and be anonymous
for a little while
Oct 2014 · 1.6k
Desperation
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
I think
sometimes
I bring you up
in conversations
just so my lips
can form your name
Oct 2014 · 1.6k
lovesick anxiety
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
chest tightening
pressure building
here we go again

throat closing
panting
coughing
crying
can't breathe
why does this
always happen?

head pounding
heart racing
mind buzzing
all i did
was say your name
out loud
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
I put your memories in a box
(I didn't want to need them anymore)
But I couldn't close the lid

I stared at those memories in a box
For a week or maybe three
Wondering if you had your own box
Or was it only me?

I got lost in those memories in a box
The way it felt when we kissed
Bedtime stories
and your fingers in my hair
The smell of your soap
The warmth of your arms
and the sound of I love you in my ear

I looked at those memories
with a smile and a bittersweet sigh

I put your memories in a box
and today I closed the lid
Sep 2014 · 484
11:01
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Thinking of you
Getting anxious
Needing you

*Lather
Rinse
Repeat
Sep 2014 · 439
Muddled
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Two loves
Two tugging at my heart
One old and familiar
The other barely explored

Flip-flopping between the pulls
Don't know which way to go
Emotions blurred
Everything's a mess
Can't I just have you both?
Sep 2014 · 578
Cravings
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Your lips
on my skin
tracing patterns
in the dark
Exploring
their old paths

Your lips
between my thighs
Tender
Gentle
Ecstasy
beyond compare

Oh, how I have missed this

My lips
form your name
The sound of it
reverberating
in every corner
of my mind

Feels so perfect
Feels so right
How could this
ever be wrong?
How could we
ever be wrong?
Sep 2014 · 747
Addict
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I keep saying
I'm done with you

I tell myself
it's over

But then
you look at me
and I melt

You kiss me
and I crumble

You touch me
and I lose all control

I'm powerless
against you
Sep 2014 · 698
8:30 AM
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
There are moments
(mostly in the mornings)
when I can pretend
we never happened
I lay there, thinking nothing,
and I feel happy

But then
the memories
begin to bubble up
one by one
The pain returns
And I realize that
there's no escaping you
Sep 2014 · 353
Darling,
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
If only you knew
that I still write for you
Sep 2014 · 572
Autumnal
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
It's cold
It's raining
and I feel more
A  L  I  V  E
than I have in weeks
Sep 2014 · 1000
Ghost
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Your name
always on my lips

Your face
always there
when I close my eyes

Your presence
always in my dreams

You haunt me
Sep 2014 · 572
No Regrets
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I love you,
my dear,
fiercely
and with reckless abandon
Sep 2014 · 346
Come Back To Me
Sep 2014 · 4.1k
Blame
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
It's over
and that's fine
But I could've done
without knowing
it was all my fault
Sep 2014 · 687
Don't Let Go
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Something in your eyes
tells me you need me
Please say this is true
Sep 2014 · 615
Beautiful
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I see all of your flaws
I see your insecurities
I can see all the things you hate about yourself
All the things that eat you up inside
and they just make you beautiful
Sep 2014 · 318
Need You
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I only
half exist
when
you're not here
Sep 2014 · 966
Sweet Nothings
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
All I want to do
is lay in your arms
and dream as you whisper
*I love you
I love you
I love you
Aug 2014 · 1.7k
Intimacy
Riley Lavender Aug 2014
I'm never more in love with you
than I am in those moments
that you're at your most vulnerable
Aug 2014 · 455
Not Enough Words
Riley Lavender Aug 2014
Saying that
I
love
you

doesn't really do it justice,
but it's a good place to start
Aug 2014 · 507
Q
Riley Lavender Aug 2014
Q
You
fill me with a
passion
I never knew
existed
Jul 2014 · 2.0k
Smitten
Riley Lavender Jul 2014
Trying not
to get carried away
but
I can't help but blush
when I whisper your name
Jun 2014 · 715
Ardently
Riley Lavender Jun 2014
My soul
longs for another soul
with whom to share
all that I keep quiet
in my heart
May 2014 · 877
Thoughts On Love
Riley Lavender May 2014
Love
isn't always LOUD
and EXPLOSIVE

Sometimes
LOVE
is a quiet voice in the back of your heart
A voice you almost didn't hear
A voice that tugs at you and says
*"Pardon me, but I'm here."
May 2014 · 755
Hesitant
Riley Lavender May 2014
Happy today
and
I know
I should be grateful
but
it's hard to be
when I know
that the
d a r k n e s s
is lurking
just around the corner
May 2014 · 959
Smarties
Riley Lavender May 2014
they kind of
look like little
pills

wouldn't it
be nice
if
they
were?
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