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8.5k · Nov 2014
Escape
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
i want to move to a big city
and be anonymous
for a little while
4.1k · Sep 2014
Blame
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
It's over
and that's fine
But I could've done
without knowing
it was all my fault
3.6k · Apr 2014
Wake Up
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
there's no way
that this is me

there's no way
that this is my life

this is all just a dream

all some kind of
crazy
horrible
recurring
dream

wake up
wake up

the pain isn't real
none of this is real
wake up

*just wake up...
3.1k · May 2014
Reconnecting
Riley Lavender May 2014
Trying to
collect
all of the
p    i    e    c    e    s
of myself
that I've lost
over the years
2.0k · Jul 2014
Smitten
Riley Lavender Jul 2014
Trying not
to get carried away
but
I can't help but blush
when I whisper your name
1.9k · Feb 2014
Music To My Ears
Riley Lavender Feb 2014
Your name
like a monosyllabic sigh
like the wind through the trees
Beating like a symphony
in my heart
1.9k · Jan 2015
Starvation
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
Your love
has left me malnourished
and begging for scraps
1.7k · Aug 2014
Intimacy
Riley Lavender Aug 2014
I'm never more in love with you
than I am in those moments
that you're at your most vulnerable
1.6k · Oct 2014
Desperation
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
I think
sometimes
I bring you up
in conversations
just so my lips
can form your name
1.6k · Oct 2014
lovesick anxiety
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
chest tightening
pressure building
here we go again

throat closing
panting
coughing
crying
can't breathe
why does this
always happen?

head pounding
heart racing
mind buzzing
all i did
was say your name
out loud
1.4k · Apr 2014
Pluvial
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
I just feel
so much more
ALIVE
when
it rains
1.4k · Apr 2014
Anguish
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
Today
I want to
S   C   R   E   A   M
and claw at
my flesh
1.3k · Jan 2015
Grey Skies
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
And so it sets in again
That same old melancholy
1.2k · Jan 2014
Desolation
Riley Lavender Jan 2014
i’m not depressed.

the only word I can think to describe this is

desolation.

not being with you is just…

like this morning.
i was all happy and giggly and skipping all over the place.
i kept thinking about things i wanted to tell you and i said to myself
“i have to tell him when i get home.”

but then i remembered

i’m not coming home to you.

and suddenly home
didn’t feel like home anymore

there’s emptiness here i can’t explain
can’t escape …

desolation.

i feel

desolate

without you.
1.1k · Apr 2014
Dearest Love,
1.1k · Apr 2014
Rainy Day Dreams
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
Sometimes
I wish I was a leaf
so I could always feel
the rain
the sun
and
when I felt like it
I could break free
and play in the wind

Sometimes
I wish I was a flower
so I could always see the stars
and get kisses from butterflies

Sometimes
I wish I was a bird
so I could sing all day
so I could soar high in the sky
so I could finally touch a bit of cloud fluff
and then
when I felt like it
I could fly somewhere new

Sometimes
I wish
I was anything
but me
1.0k · Dec 2014
Nothingness
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
You're gone
and you're happy
and I'm still just...here
1000 · Sep 2014
Ghost
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Your name
always on my lips

Your face
always there
when I close my eyes

Your presence
always in my dreams

You haunt me
966 · Sep 2014
Sweet Nothings
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
All I want to do
is lay in your arms
and dream as you whisper
*I love you
I love you
I love you
963 · Jan 2014
Flames
Riley Lavender Jan 2014
love is a lot like the flame of a candle. i know it’s terribly cliche, but stay with me. once lit, love dances wildly and unabashedly, illuminating even the darkest of corners. it brings warmth to the places where warmth seemed impossible. it bathes everything in a new light and gives the world a whole new glow.

but, expose it to even the smallest outside force, and it’s out, leaving you with nothing but smoke and the strong scent of what used to be.

that’s how we are, you and me. just watching the smoke curl into the blackness. every now and then, though, our candle is re-lit and our flame dances wildly and passionately, the way it did in the beginning, giving light to corners we’d forgotten about.

and then, out of nowhere……whoooosh. the most subtle breeze blows through.





it’s out.
953 · May 2014
Smarties
Riley Lavender May 2014
they kind of
look like little
pills

wouldn't it
be nice
if
they
were?
943 · Apr 2014
Peace
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
Wind whips
through my hair
heavy
with the scent
of change
and as I smile
I know deep down
that everything
is going to be just fine
916 · Feb 2015
Sated
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
"I bought books,"
I confessed.
"You have no money.
Why are you buying more books?"
they demanded to know.
"Because I was hungry."
Teala Mangano © 2015
901 · Mar 2014
Suddenly
Riley Lavender Mar 2014
And then

without warning

without consideration

without my permission

every love song

was about you
877 · May 2014
Thoughts On Love
Riley Lavender May 2014
Love
isn't always LOUD
and EXPLOSIVE

Sometimes
LOVE
is a quiet voice in the back of your heart
A voice you almost didn't hear
A voice that tugs at you and says
*"Pardon me, but I'm here."
860 · Apr 2014
A Darkness Within
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
there is a darkness within
that cannot be controlled
cannot be contained

there is a darkness within
that craves freedom
that desires to roam

there is a darkness within
i can feel it
clawing
climbing
shoving
its way to the surface

there is a darkness within
always hungry
never satisfied

there is a darkness within
and it's growing restless
Riley Lavender Oct 2014
I put your memories in a box
(I didn't want to need them anymore)
But I couldn't close the lid

I stared at those memories in a box
For a week or maybe three
Wondering if you had your own box
Or was it only me?

I got lost in those memories in a box
The way it felt when we kissed
Bedtime stories
and your fingers in my hair
The smell of your soap
The warmth of your arms
and the sound of I love you in my ear

I looked at those memories
with a smile and a bittersweet sigh

I put your memories in a box
and today I closed the lid
789 · Jan 2014
Nature's Symphony
Riley Lavender Jan 2014
there is music
all around us

it’s in the leaves
and soft petals
as they dance to the beat of the wind

it’s in a ripple
as it glides across the surface of the water

it’s in the quiet
thump-thump
of a bird’s wings

it’s in the river
as the water trickles over pebbles

it’s in the playful notes
of a cardinal’s song

it’s in the breeze
as it whooshes through the grass

it’s in the
pitter patter
of your shoes as you bounce along

to hear it
all you have you have to do
is quiet your mind
open your heart
and listen
760 · Jun 2015
My Anxiety Says
Riley Lavender Jun 2015
"No one cares
about your words"
Teala Mangano © 2015
755 · May 2014
Hesitant
Riley Lavender May 2014
Happy today
and
I know
I should be grateful
but
it's hard to be
when I know
that the
d a r k n e s s
is lurking
just around the corner
747 · Sep 2014
Addict
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I keep saying
I'm done with you

I tell myself
it's over

But then
you look at me
and I melt

You kiss me
and I crumble

You touch me
and I lose all control

I'm powerless
against you
735 · Nov 2014
Writer's Block
Riley Lavender Nov 2014
Hemingway said
that writing is easy
"All you do
is sit down at a typewriter
and bleed."

But sometimes
bleeding can be
the hardest thing to do
701 · Jun 2014
Ardently
Riley Lavender Jun 2014
My soul
longs for another soul
with whom to share
all that I keep quiet
in my heart
698 · Sep 2014
8:30 AM
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
There are moments
(mostly in the mornings)
when I can pretend
we never happened
I lay there, thinking nothing,
and I feel happy

But then
the memories
begin to bubble up
one by one
The pain returns
And I realize that
there's no escaping you
693 · Aug 2015
One of Those Days
Riley Lavender Aug 2015
One of those days
where the tears sit
poised to fall

One of those days
where your heart
curls up into a ball

One of those days
where the need to retreat
is almost too strong to resist

One of those days
where you really
just need an
EXIT

One of those days
where basic human interaction
is a struggle

One of those days
where life just feels
like too much to juggle

One of those days
where your brain feels
like it's going to riot

One of those days
where you really just
want to be
quiet

One of those days
where you can't tell
if any of it is real
or all in your mind

One of those days
where you really
just don't want to be kind

One of those days
where you don't feel
too stable

One of those days
where you just want
to be
i n v i s i b l e

It's just one of those days
Know what I mean?
684 · Sep 2014
Don't Let Go
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Something in your eyes
tells me you need me
Please say this is true
653 · May 2015
Peace
Riley Lavender May 2015
When the day to day
becomes too much
you are the quiet calm
waiting on the other side
636 · Jan 2014
Ready
Riley Lavender Jan 2014
bring on the day
let me face new challenges

i'm ready

let demons snarl in my face
let goblins mock me
let all evil try to send me to my knees

bring it on

**i'm ready
627 · Jan 2015
Losing Hope
Riley Lavender Jan 2015
Am I ever
gonna be enough
just as I am?
622 · Dec 2014
Christmas Blues (10w)
Riley Lavender Dec 2014
Surrounded
by bright holiday joy
But I just feel
e  m  p  t  y
616 · Apr 2014
Timid
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
If I
showed you
my
soul
would you
accept
it?
615 · Sep 2014
Beautiful
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I see all of your flaws
I see your insecurities
I can see all the things you hate about yourself
All the things that eat you up inside
and they just make you beautiful
602 · Apr 2014
Fantasy
Riley Lavender Apr 2014
In my head
he walks in

In my head
I'm all alone

In my head
I'm trying to hide
that I've been crying
Probably over how
I'm pretty sure
I'm not good enough for him

In my head
he sees through my mask
and takes me in his arms,
somehow knowing my thoughts

He tilts my chin up
and I'm staring into
his smiling brown eyes

"I really want to kiss you,"
he says
"You know, there's a word for that,"
I say

He laughs
I smile

But only in my head
Only in my head
578 · Sep 2014
Cravings
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
Your lips
on my skin
tracing patterns
in the dark
Exploring
their old paths

Your lips
between my thighs
Tender
Gentle
Ecstasy
beyond compare

Oh, how I have missed this

My lips
form your name
The sound of it
reverberating
in every corner
of my mind

Feels so perfect
Feels so right
How could this
ever be wrong?
How could we
ever be wrong?
572 · Sep 2014
Autumnal
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
It's cold
It's raining
and I feel more
A  L  I  V  E
than I have in weeks
572 · Sep 2014
No Regrets
Riley Lavender Sep 2014
I love you,
my dear,
fiercely
and with reckless abandon
569 · Jan 2014
Tonight
Riley Lavender Jan 2014
tonight
i wish i were with you
curled up beside you
your arms around me

safe
protected


tonight
i wish i were with you
your fingers softly tracing patterns on my skin
your breath warm on my neck

tonight
i wish i were with you
our bodies tangled
your fingers brushing gently through my hair
your voice buzzing melodically in the air
as i drift off to sleep

tonight….

tonight
i am missing you
568 · May 2014
The Things I Love
Riley Lavender May 2014
Sometimes
I think about the things that I love

I think about
the books that I read
the genres I enjoy

I think about
the shows that I watch
the music I like

I think about
the thoughts I have
the opinions I hold

I think about
who I am
and what makes me so

I think about
how I don't really know anyone
who cares for the things I care for

(Except you)

Sometimes
I think about the things that I love
and I feel *alone
555 · Feb 2015
Perfection
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
Whenever I need
a little sunshine
I look at you
and watch you radiate love
549 · Feb 2015
Enough
Riley Lavender Feb 2015
I feel good enough
in your gaze
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