Winter spring summer and
fallbackwards in time
I go
A pattern of leave(s)

Falling away

As if summer never touched them
And spring didn't water their roots.

Winter was just a phase
You knew that those rainy May days
Were my version of love.

It is never the right time for me
So I will always see fall
At the end of it all
I go through withdrawal
And still in the stall
As the archer-man calls
With an arrow and bow
Flaming, he throws.

Fire created
Spring desecrated
Summer repudiated
Winter reinstated
Fall and backwards, amalgamated.

Valencia Oranges
A yellow coated dream
Mustard-colored-tiles-are-much-colder-than-they-seem
Swimming in a sweatshirt
Watery-eyed and rosy cheeked
Music playing faintly
Curiosity is peaked
I imagine waking up
To humidity and cream
In my coffee, jingle my loft key
As I walk my way upstream


Sunglasses tint
All the oranges red
Valencia enters my veins
Rouged and widespread

Mercurial in my moods,
I switch up, off and on
Mercury rules me
Disputations nailed upon
My churches doors
Gemini explores
Sagittarius saged
and Cancer galore

You cannot buy indulgences
And use them on me
The only swaying I do
Is when the wind blows the trees
On a cool summer evening
When the Moon is nigh
And Orion looks down
From his hunt in the sky

Playing in my waistband
Fingers trickle down
Fascinated with the way the lace moves all around
Your fingers take a dip
They trickle down my back
Warranting a hiss from me, (my) facade starts to crack
The feeling that it leaves me--
With when you're away
Makes me feel the color yellow, bright as summers day
And oranges remind me
Of the way you smell
I catch a whiff and rewind to our game of show and tell
Red is the flight
That I'm catching later on
Reminds me that I'm leaving and makes your touch feel like a con
Green is my mind
When I think of who I'm with
Never with you, far away, you're feeling like a myth
Blue is the sound
Of your lips leaving mine
As they throw away the butterflies and taste like Country time
Indigo is heavy
Weighing down my thighs
I'm feeling dizzy and it's got me caught up and surprised
Violet is ending
Impossibility.
Run around us singing 'darling..stand by me'

I clean the puddle up
I throw it in the trash
I hear it hit the metal, rainbow spills and feelings crash

The rainbow keeps on running
The colors start to muddle
I find them every morning in a technicolor puddle.

I was taught to love you from birth
You raised me and taught me, watched me grow
As I'm older, you've changed
Rearranged the priorities I thought you had
I've had a hunger for knowledge for years
I thought you did too

Yet you yell about 'them'
'They're ruining america'
'I don't want them near me'
How did you raise me, how did I not know all this time?

How did you hold me in as an infant, with your arms balled up in fists?
How did you kiss me with poison on your lips?

I am from you, you are in me
Take my blood and let it reach your veins
I am immune to whatever plagues these childhood heroes
Maybe they got lost along the way
I've tried to help, but the poison takes over
Clouds their thoughts, they yell

I've looked up to them for twenty years
twenty ways they've wronged me
twenty ways they've hurt me
and twenty years still, I will love them
Because I will not kiss my children with poisoned lips
The poison stops with me

I gave you the tools.
The keys, the love to power the machine
I gave you the fuel you needed
I kneaded out the k(nots) in your back, in your lips, planted petals of forget-me-nots with my tongue
I knotted your shoelaces so you would never trip
But that didn't stop you
I put my hands on your shoulders and breathed down your neck, like a dragon, fire coming from me always
Your face down, submissive, and relaxed.
You stayed like that until the end
Weak and unbothered, driving off and gassed up.
With my fuel.
This is why I do not drive.

Get out of my dreams
I don't want you there
Let me sleep in peace not in pieces I want to rest
In peace
Instead you rip   me to shreds
You leave that feeling
The one that happens when I think of you and your dream-self powers through
You always act up, betray me, leave me to rot
And I always think of you in that way, whether you like it or not
My mind has a way of warning me, subconsciously so
That you're not worth it, and that you're worth letting go