Once upon a time
You pressed your lips to mine
And we became victims of our own crime
We left no stone unturned and crossed every line

We burst into beautiful flame
Burning each other to the ground with every touch
And I am afraid I became quite tame
Letting go of every weapon and you became my crutch

Never in my life had I been so happy
Floating through my days
So full of gratitude, so unbelievably sappy
You filled my soul in so many ways

But it was my love that crushed it
Because you were weak and scared
And you extinguished the flame we had lit
And broke what fate had paired.

In time I returned trying to find you
But I met a stranger with cold eyes
And he did none of the things that you used to
And he assaulted me with endless lies.

I do not know or trust him
And I must assume he destroyed you
Found somewhere high and pushed you over the rim
Because you were sweet and kind and fresh like morning dew

This man is used and broken
Cruel and hard
And I only find holes when he has spoken
Picking the memories out of my skin everyone a painful shard.

Unfortunately my dear you must be dead
Killed by the delusion that poisons his mind
And now I have shared all that needs to be said
There is little value in his kind

There will never be another you.

Nothing has ever been more true.

This is fact like gravity, real like the sun.

No one can undo the damage done.

There will never be another first love.

And with one word the final shove.

I am now in free fall.

Grasping aimless at the wall.

I have never known a life without you.

And I find I am terrified to.

For too many years you have been my stone.

And now comes the time for me to atone.

The most tragic end there could have been.

My heart is now fragile like an empty tin.

Two souls supposed to be joined.

They're separation now officially coined.

As my ring was placed upon her finger.

The last remnants of me no longer linger.

I feel as though I should hit the ground.

But then they would all know the hell I've found.

I was supposed to be over you and me.

But I find it was the only key.

I am now locked out from who I used to be.

Facing tomorrow without the love I wish to see.

So goodbye, love of my life.

I hope you find happiness with your new wife.

I laid there wide awake
Listening to you breath
Such a stunningly familiar sound, every breath you take.
And the many months we've missed gave me cause to grieve.
My mind drifts out the window to mingle with the sounds of the city
Remembering the times we walked those streets and laughed,
because you were always so witty.
And the city sounds are tonight my life raft.
Keeping me afloat as the memories rush by.
And even though you are so close to me, wrapped around me like a shell.
There is such a gulf between us, caused by one small lie.
And my heart begins to swell.
It aches because you are not mine and yet here I am
Pretending to belong here
Your gentle snores hit me like a battering ram.
So I walk to the window to peer.
Perhaps the breathing of the city will give me more peace than you
Because its been two months since that night
But the city always gives me the attention due.
The love that is mine by every right.
But it cannot fill the hole you left.
Twice now.
Just by your sleeping breath.

Here I sit
In my beautiful home
With my wonderful family
And then it hit
All the things that could go wrong
that do go wrong...
All the bullets that need not be fired
All the blood that need not be spilled
All the mothers children who slip away everyday
Every fathers daughter who closes her eyes on the final high
Every bomb dropped, shooting done, overdose, all the finalities of this world.
And sometimes it feels hopeless
But perhaps its the fact that we still feel enough hope to recognize hopelessness that saves us. As long as we never reach the point where not caring is normal. As long as being alive is feeling pain for all the losses, even the ones that aren't ours. As long as we can sit in our blessings and recognize them as exactly that. Maybe there's a chance for us.

Never before have I felt this way
Never before have I been afraid of what I have to say
Unstable and easy to sway
I was always the huntress now I'm the prey
Falling asleep to tears at the end of the day

I have never felt unwanted
Used to flying now I'm stunted
Always accepted and now shunted
Only temporarily hunted
Then tossed aside and bunted

Swallowed by the fear
Feeling alone without you near
It's a sour wine the final tear
Standing at the end of the line holding up the rear
Watching her win with her evil leer

Struggling to get to the top
So full of goodness and ready to pop
You have no idea what you let drop

I feel my body begin to shake
My hands and heart ache
Wanting so badly to hold you behind the calm I fake
I have to think about every breath I take
To distract myself from the thirst I just can't slake

Memories of your touch burn like fire
My thoughts trapped in your tire
Every silly stupid thing I think fills me with ire
Just be yourself preaches the choir
But your laugh makes my heart crack like a live wire

Wanting so bad to once again touch you
Wondering if you want it too
Or if, with the rising of the sun, that desire flew.
I see it every day, the hair I ran my fingers through.
Your painted skin, that seems to every second be new.

And worst of all I'm sure you have an inkling
From the way my eyes are twinkling
Or from the compliments I'm sprinkling

And you continue to move at your glacial pace
So different from the usual race
But you aren't hiding anything, it is all there on your lovely face
You're just a unique case
Beautiful and delicate like lace
Yet dark and dangerous and hard to chase