You used to be a safe haven
A place to nestle against your warmth and love.
Before you turned craven,
And rejected everything I offered with a brusque shove.

You are now my unsafe haven
Every word you speak you twist and tangle
Your meaning like the feathers of a raven
And the sweet memories are now seen from a different angle

Look what you have lost my darling!
My love, my trust, my admiration.
Every time we speak my inner animal is snarling.
Gnashing at the veneer draped thinly over your oration.

The instinct to fight, and the instinct to surrender to your lies collide
One animal baring teeth and readying for our witty battle
The other slinking toward you, her will to hurt you died.
But behind every sweet word I hear the deceit rattle.

You play the game like no one I have ever known
A true master, an ace at pleasures of the now
But I no longer wish to play, all the cards I have I've shown
So keep your prize, I no longer want your broken vow.

You are full of danger and desire
Of pain and hate and lies
I truly don't think you want to be a liar
But in the end it is always me who tries.

I saw you today,
Crying in your car
Just for a second as you passed me at a busy intersection
And I knew you were crying
Even though you tried your best to hide it
I knew you were crying because the hand that shook as it brushed the hair back
I knew you were crying because the way your body slumped against the window as if the world was pushing you out
I knew you were crying because the slight crinkle of your forehead
As if your face just couldn't pretend one second longer
I knew you were crying because the dimples that I'm sure are stunning when you smile, were pulling your eyes down with them.
I know all of this because I was doing the same thing just this morning.
And I know you thought it was safe to cry because you were alone
Alone in your car, with just the radio to talk to
But lets face it, we aren't ever really alone.
And sometimes that not a good thing
When we fear the judgement of our suffering
And I don't know what the doctor told you
I don't know why he left you
I don't know how long ago your loved one died
I don't know why you got fired
I don't know why, how, or who made you want to be so alone.
But you're not. I'm here, this stranger on the street.

I have met you a thousand times before...
And I never seen your face.
You have made me feel emotions I didn't know could reach my core...
Yet I don't know how you taste.
I have kissed you under every  star, and in the rain...
And yet I don't know your name.
I know exactly where you are...
Twinkling in the darkness of tomorrow.
Dancing in the green hills of a country still so far.
I can feel you coming to me my love..
and I hope you feel me running.
I just have a few more things to do before I take flight like Dylan's dove...
Finding rest in your sand, weary from the games and cunning.
And perhaps the air will vibrate, shake all the walls, shatter every plate, rattle every fork, and realign the stars...
When I meet you, in the streets of York.

I feel your eyes on me when I sleep in your arms
I know you watch me breath in and sigh out,
I can almost see your brain send out the alarms
I can sense the feelings swirling in your chest, I know what your thoughts are about.
And while they may scare you, they terrify me
Because I have been here before
Right here, tangled, and glowing from the passion I can still see
Then with the setting of one sun, feeling abandoned, and resentful, with nothing left to adore.
You frighten me because my life has been tailor made for one
There isn't much room on my right side
And as I look into my future I feel that familiar urge to run
But just like the shore I can't escape the tide.
You caught up to me, it only took some time.

When you lay there in the moon beams, holding her, watching her eyes dance behind their shimmering lids, do you ever stop to think that other men have held her, watched her, been transfixed by her unique and entrancing beauty? When you caress her soft cheek, feeling the need to keep her safe, do you know that that has once been someone else's duty?

As you you bend to kiss her temple, trying your best to transfer some of the adoration you feel, do you recognize that that temple has been kissed just like that before? That others have adored her like you adore her, and if the world has its way others will come to worship that smile you adore?

When she twists into your arms, resting her little cheek upon your chest, tangling her fingers in your shirt, holding onto you to ground her, pulling you in to save her from drifting to the other side of the bed, do you stop to respect that she chose you? She may have chosen them, but did they feel immensely grateful when she began to drool on their favorite shirts, like she's prone to do?

Have you begun to suspect that being in her life is a privilege she only gives to some? Do you think a position on her right side is easy to obtain? Do you realize that between high standards and pain she has become a little numb? But here she is tangled up with you, safe and warm from the rain.

The sun beat down on my exposed skin.
I looked up into the blue and drank it in.
I felt the heat soaking up the water that ran down my back.
Not realizing what danger lay on this track.
I brought my eyes back down and they fell upon you.
My heart beat picked up, and my muscles tightened too.
Suddenly a new internal force sparked to life.
And I wielded it like a knife.
For the first time they came together, my body and my mind.
And I used them like I never had to make two beings intertwined.
Like a missile I was locked on course.
Only disarmed by an older wiser force.
I never forgot the feeling of discovering myself.
Of using them together to collect hearts for the shelf.
But that was then and this is now.
Life has worked her magic and eventually my confidence had to bow.
I still know how to weave them together, how to use my special skill.
But I am no longer that girl in the water, armed and going in for the ****.
Now a woman with battle scars, and smile that has earned its place.
Looking for a hunter who can maybe keep pace.

A wine bottle
filled with keys
is all I drink.
I never cared
for the bitter,
sick taste of
old grapes,
taunting me.
But the bottle
fits nicely
in my hand
and I enjoy
the tang of
metal
on my tongue,
reminds me
of the blood
I used to draw
when you got
close.
Lip torn,
to kiss, or not.
To speak, or
be silent.
The keys,
I find them
forgotten
in crevices
of other
people's
lives, after
they've released
what had to be
locked away.
The edges cut
on the
way
d
o
w
n
...
Some part of me
is still soft, now
I can prove it
with the blood
I've coughed up.
Paint this truth
deep wine red,
with spare keys
jangling loudly
in my stomach
like the nerves
of my body, if
you'd listen to me.
But now when I
speak, you hear
silence.
You’re done
kissing me
and I taste
salt. Tears.
Still drinking
sharp keys from
a wine bottle,
hoping they unlock
something inside.


**V. K.