I wanted to write
As if I would never be judged
But then I would never do it
My feelings never making it through it.

You left me numb
Deathless pain is all I've got
And it doesn't speak
It just feels like a cheap trick.

I thought I had you forever
But when I saw that you could never
Be that person, it lit in me an arson
What a betrayal
He expects me to be loyal.

And even then,
So I was
But he left me no chance
Not a breather
Now I'm a hardly
A believer.

I left your visuals at your door
There’s only so much I can adore
I loved you ‘till the end
But my soul’s getting bent.

Channel the grace
Feel the pace
I stood in their place
I thought I recognized the space.

Shiny isn't always gold
Or so I've been told
And death truly is bold
Grabbed my soul and turned it cold.

Got sold sins painted as dreams
Had to have it by any means
I let him have my soul
Only one of us is getting old.

My voice as a weapon
Loaded guns with demons I couldn't let on
And I'll show you hell and fire
It's now, not just a desire.

Lonely bones
Skin stuck to your muscle stones
Hold me but make me feel empty
It feels like you're loving me *****.

And why do I want to hate you
When you swear your love's true?
Look at my heart, blue
Act like you don't have
A clue.

But I can see through you
Love pretends
We can make amends
But somehow,
It always ends.

Not a part of your church
In the dark I built myself
A torch;

And the moon whispers to me
In the night she sits
By me.

I stood there and took the abuse
But in my mind I let it become my muse
My veins are filled with all that you left
Venom and a planned theft.

Planned my escape to easier days
Let you see yourself in too many ways
Did you like it or did you hate it?
I knew you wanted to break it.

And so you did and when you saw me
Behind the mirror in my glory
Did you ever think I'll tell the story
Of how he truly likes to adore me?

With these cold hands I write my symphony
With yours you've made yourself an enemy
And I sat and endured humility
Took the names and the liability.

I took it upon myself to curse and heal
I sat there and built a fever dream
Your words remembrance in my soul
A little fame from you I stole.

And perhaps I wanted you to be seen
In a light that was a little too mean
And I don't blame myself for the betrayal
Because I stood there a little too loyal.

And petty laughs I know you muffle
Ignorance in full throttle
We pray to the same deities but we do it differently
Are we to blame a deity
Or the society
For an unfair calamity
Id rather pretend to be
Almighty.