Stiletto heels and a push-up bra,
Hair piled high, bleached and toned and all…
That’s the way you used to shuffle around,
But you ain’t been much since your man went to town.

Who’s that a’ worrin’ bout them wrinkles and lines?
Is that the same broad who fell for all his lines?
Well, since he left you all you do is frown.
No, you ain’t done much since your man went to town.

You could’a picked a man who would’a cherished you
Once upon a time when love was fresh and new,
But you picked the one who was known all around.
Now,  you ain’t known much since your man went to town.

(Interlude)

You could’a picked a man who would’a cherished you
Once upon a time when love was fresh and new,
But you picked the one who was known all around.
Now, you ain’t been much since your man went to town.

What’cha gotta to do to make it right
Is take your piece out of your purse, it’s a Saturday night.
What’cha gotta do is shoot him down,
‘Cause you cry too much since your man went to town.

(I'm still tweaking the arrangement. It should have an upbeat Little Richard or Ray Charles rock-n-roll mid-upbeat tempo with possibly hand claps on the downbeat like a spiritual chorus... since most early rock and r&b; musicians got their starts in small black southern Baptist churches. Let me know what you think. If it *****, tell me.

Occasionally I hear voices,



White noise of others choices.



I flick them away, like flies.



Deep, oh so deep, the ego lies.



Whilst spreading in all directions,



Dividing into self made sections.



I have effaced myself.



I am now in the silence before I was born.



All my affectations shorn,



Cocooned in nothingness.



I do not miss the smell of jasmine



Or watching the blossom fall,



The deliciousness of chocolate,



Hearing the cuckoos call,



Touching the silk of your skin,



I do not miss anything, for I am within.



This body, left to mind, now realises



Everything is absurd,



Dreamland is another word.



Externally the machine makes another sound,



My lungs now fill, oxygen found.

I fell for your trap,
It must've been clear to see,
That I wasn't anything to you,
But you were my ecstasy.
I got high in your presence,
And came down in your absence,
To me when we were together,
We were like a mixer and absinthe.
Little did I know,
You were the sin in absinthe,
And my love for you left me feeling
Blinded in a labyrinth.
You were always so perfect,
You were my ecstasy,
But I was your nothing;
You just wanted your ex to see.
You see, that's the difference,
In the two types of people;
There's those of us full of love,
And those, like you, full of evil.

You broke your little girl.

You dropped her head
in a boiling ***
and the pressure
broke her skull.

Fished her out
and set her
in the sun to
dry and dry and dry.

Your neglectful hands
left her there to turn
the color of things
trapped between train tracks.

And now she exists.
You can hear her
but you don’t understand
what she’s screaming.

written March 31, 2015

"Have you ever cried every day for two weeks straight?
I have
And although the tears were sporadic
My breaths were heavy and I had outbursts
These tears i'm experiencing, two weeks later
are hurting much much more
I'm not biting my tongue to hide my sobs
or crying into the pillow, late at night
Rather feelings the burn as each tear slowly runs down my cheeks
Every tear falls with a memory of you
and my heart is heavy tonight
I feel as if I'm suffocating
Because my heart and my head are in a rebuttal
Wishing two things upon myself
and I don't know where to go
I just want to stay still and do nothing for the rest of eternity
Who knew decisions could be this ******* someone
And why is it that the one who hurts you and treats you poorly
is the one you set your sights on
and want the most"