I can already feel the bullet on the roof of my mouth.
I can taste the metal.
It's just the blood that lingers.
Happenings wear down innocence.
Time withers smiles.
They say everyone grows up eventually,
They keep asking when I will.
I've always wondered why people ask questions they know the answer to.
I guess they need to hear someone else say it.
Maybe it's just not real until someone says it aloud.
Maybe you don't know you love someone until you lose them in a crowd.
I think that's the real test
Do you remember what they were wearing?
Do you remember what they look like?
How much time did you spend today looking at them?
It's funny how little you actually remember about someone.
It's funny how much you do too.
I don't remember my mother's birthday, but I do remember what you were wearing the day I met you.
I remember the way you looked up from your coffee and smiled.
I remember your eyes, and how they reminded me of tall evergreens stretching into eternity.
Anything seemed possible when your lips curled into a smile.
I could conquer the world when you curled into my arms.
Even your sighs sounded like they must have been written by some famous composer.
But I guess that's all just love.

You asked me when me heart went missing.
I told you when my mind did.
I like to think that I loved you.
I like to think that I still do.
I can't tell anymore though, if I'm in love with you, or the girl I once knew.
A lot can change in a year.
But not me.
I'm still that same old record, left on repeat.
I'm that same broken boy, with scratched hands, and purple eyes.
You change personalities like clothes, and I was the only one who didn't know.
In the end we can pretend like I didn't notice the way you brushed your hair off your shoulder, or the way you sighed and stared into space.
But I did.
I miss it.
But I know it's gone now.
I really do wonder if it's for the best.

Sometimes I think I'm going crazy
Some people say that's bad
But I don't think that's true
What's bad would be not thinking you're going crazy
Because crazy people don't know they're crazy

Here we go, another night tossing and turning in bed.
As always, my mind eventually drifts back to you.
The "what if's" and the "maybe's" start drifting through my head.
But then I inevitably realize that none of that's coming true.
I inevitably realize I had my chance, and now that chance is gone and dead.
I'll never get my chance again,
To be with the girl in my head.
I'll never get my chance again,
To make my dreams come true.
I'll never get my chance again,
To have a lonely little life for two.
Or at least I'll never get my chance again, to have a lonely little life with you.

I hate myself

I miss you.
I miss you, but I shouldn't.
I miss you, but I shouldn't, because it's my fault you're gone.
I saw you.
I saw you, and it hurt.
I saw you, and it hurt, but it shouldn't have.
I saw you, and it hurt, but it shouldn't have because I should've known better.
I miss you.
I miss you, and I should.
I miss you, and I should, because even though you're gone I'm still in love with you.
I saw you.
I saw you, and it hurt.
I saw you, and it hurt, and it should.
I saw you, and it hurt, and it should because you're with him and not me.
But that's okay.
He's better than me any way.
And you deserve the best.

When I'm laying awake in bed on a sleepless night,
I often think of you.
I think of the way you laughed
The way you cried on the phone with me.
The way when you kissed me while you were smiling.
The way you sighed.
The way you chuckled softly and brushed off a compliment.
But most of all,
I think of the way you made everything I was doing seem better when you were around.