A pensive presence
With velvet eyes
That lure you in
With passionate
Hidden essence
Beyond the flesh
Within the soul
I'd like to see you
Through glass
Inside a watch
Against the clock
I wish not to wait
For any demise
Take off the guise
Life is lingering
Stagnancy diminishing
By my fists
I'll run to you
In any storm
Against the mist
I want you now
Today
Tomorrow
Forever
Without sorrow
On my skin
Within my bones
Love lavishes
When we allow it
And I've made my choice
The cards are here
In your hands
Now

Stars filled the moonlit sky
The field lit up like fire
And the fox came for me
My hand in his snout
His fangs in my flesh
The blood was not there
Salvation in a desolate city
Wandering hopelessly
To nowhere but everywhere

On the wooden frame of this bed
Lie all the secrets in my head
With the keys to the metaphors
Resting in the crystal glass drawers
Where illusion is prophecy
And the god is hypocrisy
Like a soft dream I never dreamed
With the terror that never screamed
This cradle is the infancy
Of the lies of my fallacy
So burn the skeleton of rest
In the fire within a chest
That beams a golden hue of truth
And eradicates every tooth

Now you shall Speak with no bite
Now you shall Sleep with no fight

Lately I find myself consumed by thoughts
My mind runs rampant of images of you
Running into your arms as you hold me
Our lips touch as the world fades away
Just you and I in the midst of the city
Putting to sleep the place that never rests
Yet I know these images are just a dream
That plays over like a broken record
Our imaginations can be a mirage
However I still hope that you see me
In your dreams and see all that I see in you
Maybe I've just hit the brink of craziness
Or this longing is everything you feel
I fell in love so easily as we stood
Side by side for months in the depths
Of the desolate kitchen that drove us
Oh dear I know I'm just a fool in this
But my mind still runs like waterfalls
Crashing and pouring but bringing solace

Oh, how strange the day
That casts a shadow on my grave
That I have dug in wickedness
Through the flesh I have praised

I've found the woe in all of this
Yet in darkness I bathe my bones
While I chain my neck to sins
I stubbornly refuse to turn against

Like a sweet apple from a tree
I lust for the succulent taste
Of a fleeting happiness of addiction
That grasps my veins like ******

I've bonded myself to all the lies
That I  have whispered to my soul
Each night as I stared into the stars
And drifted to the hell inside my mind

But in this place I found an angel
That defended the death I claimed
And I, like the vulnerable sheep
Drank the words of all she said

Like a glutinous fool I was quenched
Until the morning came again
And I woke upon the driest desert
My soul shriveled to nothingness

Yet I find somewhere within my spirit
To fight against every ounce of me
That keeps running to false desires
In hopes to find the freedom I yearn

I plead to be crippled from head to toe
To fall on my knees for eternity
Until I'm bruised and broken
And my heart can breathe again

When my lungs are filled with joy
That sings mellifluously throughout
And my eyes burn with passion
Ignited by the purest of light

And like an earthquake on land
May my spirit be shaken violently
Until the day I'm alive again
Where my mind will blossom

Like a field of flowers in the spring
Where the birds hum their beauty
And my thoughts are silenced
While my flesh dances like the bees


Oh, how beautiful this day will be
When winter is quelled by the sun
And every life is flourishing
In the Truth that we all had lost

The sound of our names begin with a -kuh
It clicks off my tongue with a je ne sais quoi 
My body it tingles with the prance of your song
It quivers in the silence of a home in the wrong
But together we swim in the warm summer sky
Where all the dirt is washed away as we fly
You are the wings of my butterfly self
The only treasure that truly brings me wealth
My heart longs for your touch 
And it desires your kiss that holds so much
Baby you're the song to my soul
Lover of mine in all that is whole
So let's share the syllables of ourselves
And be one book on all the shelves

As I taste the air tonight
I reminisce our memories
Finding myself in that diner
With a large slice of cake
Discussing our lives
Swinging in that playground
With the illuminating moon
Telling our visions and dreams

These were the better times
When my heart ignited
And I showed you all of me
While you exposed yourself
We showed our selves bare
And learned each other’s bodies
In the midst of the storm
Searching for every answer

But quickly the woe set in
My naive self discarded you
As attention consumed me
Now it’s you that shuts down
As you turn cold in my presence
Masking any feeling that exit
In the whirlwind of our lives
That swims in a changing sea

I see my reflection in this water
And feel every ounce of regret
For the love I denied you
With the warmth I robbed you of
My love you are my everything
The brightest parts of me
Are composed of every bit of you
I long for your tender embrace
Those lips that bring tingles

In the end I need your soul
That spirit of yours is in me
It caresses my mind like a lover
But tortures me like a demon
I have taunted you like so
And now its my turn to be killed
I’m yearning for the numbness
That I plagued on your mind

With this, I know,
I will always,
Only love you

The hour strikes to midnight
And I find myself consumed
As these thoughts choke me
They grasp my mind intensely
Gripping me with every strength
I toss
I turn
No sleep
Just wonder
Regret from the past
Fear of the future
And hurt from today
I cannot seem to find control
No air to fill my lungs
Nor peace to calm my flesh
Just chaos in my head
Congesting me with vigor
I question everything I can
As I long for all that could be
And die to all that has been
I lay here empty in my soul
For giving up all that I sewed
The birds chirp as the sun rises
And my eyes sink deeper
As I think to the point of death
I burn from the exhaustions
I throb from the insomnia
Yet my body fights my flesh
That I gave up long ago

Her head in your palms
She's thrashed around
A rag doll in despair
On stained cement
A lingering stench of oil
Feet upon her flesh
Hot from the blood
Rushing to her wounds
And the rain pours down
Salted skin burning
Drying up in result
She's the desert
In the forest of her fear
A dog in a cage
Howling for release
Shaken from the rage
Torn from the mind
Then the music plays
Ants within her nerves
She attempts to inhale
But the air is stale
The lungs are blue
She craves an embrace
A shelter from the hurricane
Then it all subsides
Intertwined in smoke
She found the calm
The ocean breeze
The dew of summer morning

I slipped on these shoes
Two sizes too big
And set out for a journey
For you and for me
With your lipstick I smile
Red as I read once
And I twirl in my dress
That’s really yours
Suddenly I trip over this log
Your actions in fog
So you see I’m lying in dirt
The ant and the flea
I tried so hard to be free
But it wasn’t me
As you I search for thee
I want your clothing
I burn my own in this fire
Please, see this story
I’ve failed in these attempts
I’m invisible
I’m iridescent
I’m illuminated
I’m really nothing
But a Liar
My name should be Cain.

I hear them again in my head
They buzz like bees in a hive
And I lose my sanity day by day
I find my self back to the beginning
Where the nothingness I had felt
Became exactly what I was
Now I'm running towards this
Backwards to the past that broke me
Yet brought me a sick satisfaction
That is malicious by character
A certain synthetic happiness
That feels more real than I can say
So here before myself I stand
Naked as I've come to be
Drenched in salt, swollen, incomplete
And I surrender to the queen
I'll drink your poisoned honey
Joining your fleet of slaves
Relinquishing my flesh to you
So I can find a way to breathe
And sleep away my being
Into the bones I was born to be

It's four in the morning and I haven't slept for days or maybe even years
The thought of your chest beating against mine lingers in my mind
As I try to fall into my dreams that no longer seem to come by
It was a short few days that brought you so close to myself
You may have forgotten, yet I can't seem to shake you from my bones
Oh dear you felt so right even though you think you're so wrong
They say I'm so sweet and so kind but they just don't really know
We are both broken but I know we can thrive with each other
Or maybe it's just a fantasy I've painted vividly inside my soul
You've done something to my core I cannot begin to put in words
And as I stare upon the blank, white ceiling in my bedroom
I think about the times I felt you so close within my spirit
But I am alone now, with the melodies of songs that leave me empty
As you're ghost dances upon the strings of my veins

Sober, am I really sober?

My mind has become idle
Even in this sobriety
That’s been gifted in pain
These hands have been worked
And my flesh is shedding
Along with the trees this fall
I’ve been sober for a while
But I’ve adopted a new high
A detrimental self-determined
Deterioration of myself
Trying to escape the reality
Of the life I’ve carved
In the midst of this whirlwind
I can only cling to the purity
That lingers in the silence
Before I shut my eyes for rest
When I’m lying in my bed
Beneath the lies I had told
With all the truth I painted blue
I can see the sober mind
That's sitting still in my head
With all the regrets  I long to toss
Into the pile of bones I buried
With the past I hope to forget
But I am shaped by this all
I am the product of a history
That was written by plenty
Only to be lived by one

In this sober body I call mine

Tell me I'm in a waiting room
Tell me this is just a nightmare 
Tell me this is just temporary
Tell me you'll keep your words
Will truth please prevail
Can you stop my deafening wale
I long for a promise kept
I long for a love unaltered
I'm a bride standing alone
At the alter abandoned and scared
Whisper me back to our land
Tell me all that was will be again
Tell me those words you said
And seal them with a kiss
Tell me your heart and I will tell you mine
Tell me everything 
I want all of it
The songs of all the music within
Draws me back to what had been
Tell me please
Tell me now
Just tell me you love me

As she drops from the her delicate branch
Into the sea of the spineless trench

She hears the whispers of the wind
That speak the tongue she wish she sinned

It is the insuperable barrier of lust
For an alluring mind she longed to trust


That plagues her thoughts in the great fall
The last idea she can seem to recall


And so with this she must carry on
With a passion from herself she has spawn

Afar from her tree she will ponder
His every curve and color as she will wander

Into the dawn of a lost existence
Where she can forget the resistance

If only she could grasp his intricate arms
That hold her stem like she's a thousand charms

Of finest cut of diamonds
From the galactic islands

Then she could live the life of her spirits desire
But she knows she needs to extinguish this fire


So she will journey for the answer
To **** the want in her that grows like cancer

With all its bones and flesh
And veins that speak the soul
Tells a story in its movement
In the rhythm of the spirits song

When two bodies move about
Like birds in heat within the summer
They sing a song of passion
As they taste each other's sweat

The music continues to linger
Even if we no longer hear the sound
But these dancers drink the salt
They have longed to share

As every curve speaks through bends
And every touch tingles within
It is the body that shows us
That love knows every tongue

So let's write our stories in each step
And breathe each other into our cores
Where every bruise is bared
As our skin slowly strips itself

Let us all buzz around like bees
In pursuit of the flower's nectar
That creates the honey of our minds
To feed every heart the sweetness

Of the truth our shapes can speak
And let us be true in every beat
So that no lie can hide beneath us
And our bones can be white as snow

Torn apart by two lovers
Who drifted into raging water
The desolate child of sinners
A boy beautifully broken in three
In his doctor’s coat he smiles
To awaken new files
And bring a mass of lies
That deceives the believers
But I see his ocean eyes
And I feel his graying skies
I want to hold him in the night
To see him in the morning
In the daylight of my life
But his maxim denies
And I scream in reply
I will disobey the requests
With a wish to strip him of his coat
Oh boy with a doctor’s coat
I don’t want to be your patient

the air is heavy tonight
and my heart is an anchor
kissing the feet of my soul
while my lungs begin to swell
beneath the sea of my mind

as the music rings in my ear
mellifluously lingering
reminding me of all the fish
that swim within my spirit
and feed upon my bones

my hands tremor softly
while my skin begins to ripple
as my blood starts to rush
my pulse like an african drum
causing my thoughts to dance

I sink into my bodies’ motion
like a rock thrown into a river
but I sway like a leaf falling
in a somber mid october day

the sounds embrace my head
and as I come back to reality
I see the hell I’ve known
But I see the sun in the moon
and hope to love once again

I hear words, but they're silent
Like the dead of the night
Do I make a noise?
As a falling tree
That no one can see?
I have no eyes to perceive
So I'm blind with no dog
But I am a dog
That goes back to his *****
I am the acid of a stomach
The putrid ferment
Of rotted nutrients
I'm the belly of the dead
A corpse is my being
So I am the one in a casket
Death is where I stand
Here I am Hear me now
Or don't, I don't.
Like a deaf bird with no ears
I fly without guidance
I'm hunted by the beast
Bang. Bang.
I was shot. I'm dropping
I hit the ground
Eaten.
By the savage devil
Satan is my name
I am the hell you see
Or possibly the heaven
I've fed your empty self
I'm vacuous though
Your filled with air now
But I won't have you breathe
Because your deceased now
Just like me
We're friends now right?
Ashes of the flaming leaves
We reek of decayed winter
There is no spring
So rest away my darling
Love is not here
We are not alive
Not real.
The end.

These excuses are venom that poison my mind
Evasions to conceal what I cannot fathom to find
They spew like ***** tasting bitter like rind
But they adorn me with comfort that I cannot unbind 
So I sit with a smile and a face awry yet kind
Only to mask that I loathe what's behind

Not me, not you, but really the demons inside
 That I've let bury deep and try faithfully to hide
But truth knows it's way past the words that i lied
And it will burn the shards that I've left on this ride
To scorn me of the errors in all that I've put on my side
I'll run from the confusion through this high tide
And stand alone as the mournful abandoned bride

Ashes turned to clouds hovered above my head
And like venom, their rain penetrated my veins
Seizing my heart, leaving me a lifeless mess
I squirmed and slithered through the gaps
That were left inside my decaying mind
In attempts to find the sanction I only knew
When I was safe inside his tender hold
Beneath the stars that spoke our sacred bond
But as quickly as the night would come
It would go and I could see the scars
I've hid from all that were blinded by the light
I was the foolish one, with a crack of a bottle
And the tip of my head, burning fire in my throat
A lost girl in your bed, trying to find the Truth
That I knew so well in your passionate gaze
Your mellifluous voice killed all the demons
Inside my skin, breaking my every bone
The years have passed like the seasons have
And I find that every snake you've killed
Have come back with this storm hovering me
Oh but I was the foolish one who buried you
And exposed my tattered soul in a whirlwind
With a drunken haze, that painted me blue
Yet I still hope in all the death I've seen
That all these things will be turned to gold
And the doves that flew inside our spirits
Would return and kiss our naked souls
Bringing shivers that spoke every silent word

I have a paper box
With secrets I cannot unlock
And memories of older days
From the time I was a fox

I have a paper box
That I carry close to me
Hidden beneath my wings
Weighing me down with rocks

I have a paper box
With no window to enter
So I keep it in wonder
Waiting to see if it talks

Alas, I awaken
Alas, I breathe in
Alas, I open my box
Only to find...




**I am the swift fox
That endlessly talks
With a satchel of rocks
Living in a paper box

Like the tapping of the rain
On top of a tin roof
You fickle with my mind
Plaguing me with your sound
I try smothering you
I paint your face
A thousand shades
But your song keeps singing
Beneath the acrylic veil
Then you return
With all the melodies
Of an untouched scale
That grasp my veins
And draw me into you
I pulsate in cadence
As I fall within my being
The pattern repeats
And this time I bury you
But like the dead come to life
You crawl back into me
I deny these desires
And so I become the monarch
  The great deceiver    
          I am the criminal
          I am the victim
Will this harmony seize?
The thought it lingers
As your gaze pierces my dreams
Goodnight, I will end
Will I find you here?

She stitched these lines within her seam
As though they were the only truth to beam
Like poetry in the hands of the blind dream
She embraced the words in a soft spoken scream
Cursing the girl she ***** with her scheme
And like a drought she soaked up the stream
Of a girl who had nothing left to redeem 
Now I swim in the air where I no longer gleam
Choking on the dust she carries in esteem

Shadows cast upon them
Tinting their skin charcoal
They reflect like water 
These rays of lies they wear
Around their necks like scarves
That warm and comfort them
But quickly fangs emerge
 ****** them of their breath
And like venom poisons
They are infants to him
His children and his prey
So strike up a new dance
Sing with the drummer boy
Fly to the god you call
Swim softly through sea
Lie innocently  now
And drink the suns sweet juice
With salty rinds and all
To silently rest here
****** by your very own sin
Good night my little ones
Sleep well  marionettes

The butterflies have flown to the garden next door
Where I no longer feel their wings upon my silken skin
My mind sinks into the daydreams of a little girl
Who longs for fairy tales and mystic lands of splendor
But as my eyes shift and this vision begins to focus
I enter the cellar of what is the reality of today
A mere glimmer of hope shines through the window
However the stench of molding cement walls
Fills my lungs reminding me of the death I see
There is no field of wheat to run through
I lye on the bones of all the people I've killed
No flowers caress my skin and perfume my body
My flesh morphs into the skeletons I've kept
The dreams conceived by the child I had been
I have buried them beneath the pillow that I sleep upon
And yet as I rest my exhausted spirit in the night
I drift to no place and feel the heaviness of the day
As the sound of wind whistles through the cracks
Of the house that I claimed to be my home
I watch the life that exists outside of these walls
The leaves from the trees are brushing against the window
Trying to clean the dust that had built up throughout the years
My mind drifts to a sadistic state where I no longer exist
Just the carcass of myself in this empty coffin
The melodies of the night drown the noise of my demise
And in the end there is nothing left here, where I am
Not even the neighbor's garden, where the butterflies lived

A bitter rind beneath my tongue
I close my eyes and then it sung
The song that sank my silent lungs

With this I spit the blood of fear
A crimson red upon the peer
The color of my hands so sheer

To crumble in this feverish heat
I know the truth beneath deceit
I stand this ground to make this feat

But as he whispers;
                     come with me my friend
      I clasp his hand to the end
**Where butterflies swim and I ascend

I stepped into the vines
In pursuit of TIME’s gates
Hoping to delay the
This life that I am leading
And through the pines
         &Spider; webs
I found them
The Tarantulas
          on my back
With a shriek and some haste
I turned away
I threw them from myself
And scurried back
Little have I spoken?
Of the one beside me
Who walked hand in hand
              with me
A stained boy
I did not know
Who steered me to these doors
In a dream I call a terror
And like lightening
           they flashed
These currents opened
Reality has exposed itself
to me
Now I ponder my adventure
I heaved in fear
But I long to return
I WANT to find
What lies behind
The doors at the end
Of this unkempt land
Where I can crawl
The black widow of the dawn
And discover
    These veins
      *Within my own mind

Deep beneath the willow I lay
Tangled in her rugged roots
Her hands grasp me for life
While I slowly lose my lungs
And her branches rain upon me
Soaking the soil just as my flesh
Swelling my body like salt
Burning my skin like tears in winter
I conclude that this is my fate
Dead in the life of the world
Alive in the truth of raging hearts
I am the weeping willow's daughter
The child trapped in her womb
Never birthed into a singing spirit
But just a rotted carcass
Clinging to anything that breathes

The wooden floor is drenched in blood
That you have shed from your mouth
I pick up the teeth that you have lost
And question why I am so calm
Then I see myself losing my bones
Breaking into a body beaten down
To a nothingness that is mere ash
I am the residue of the hell I lived
A fear encompasses my flesh
From my core to my mind to the soul

I am scared beyond comprehension
Of all that lies beneath the dirt
I am decaying like them but yet...
I scream in the panic as the light dims
And I find myself sweating in the horror
Where have I gone to have come to this
I am nothing but the void in the sky
The discomfort has turned to agony
So I smile to hide the truth in my heart
He has no idea...They will never know
That I am simply broken like pixels

You can only see me if you look consciously
But I am a deceiver as is the media
I hide behind everything that molds me
Like cement I am hardened to be stepped on
I am the rotted apple you toss away
Because I lost my spirit in the war
That you sent me through by passion
Desire has killed me as has every sin
I am no longer here...I am dead to you
And to everyone who thinks they see

My mind runs rampant
As the days pass quickly
While I work endlessly
In the heat of the evening
The world reminds me
daily, that I'm not alone
This life is mirage in my daze
I'm the bee making honey
Beneath the queen of queens
Yet I stumble upon the lives
Of those who serve beyond
All that I have ever known
They work like slaves
Bruised and exhausted
Under the light that reminds us
That there is more than night
There are stars and a moon
Shining the haze of thought
Which beams the essence
Of human flesh on the grill
We are burned and cooked
To nothing more than ash
Yet there is a depth beyond
This strange life we lead
A horizon that awaits our soul
The fresh air that renews
Like the dew that waters grass
We will find our salvation
When we finally make a choice
To relinquish ourselves to the king
The only one who knows torture
And finds sanction in hell
For we are not our own person
Rather the product of a warrior
Who suffered for every thing we are
The sins we find to define us
Are nothing more than the mirage
We painted in our hearts before
So I tell you me friends and foes
Don't dream any longer than you have
Live each day as your last
And serve not the honey to the comb
But the fruit of the tree in your heart
The apple in the orchard
The sweet berry of the wild
For we are not the slaves of the kitchen
But the servers of our brethren

The clock ticks and ticks
Tic tock tic tock tic tock tock tock
The sound rings in my ears
As the melody plays behind me
A song whispering all my thoughts
My heart beats heavily beneath the air
Thump thump thump thump
This mind flutters like butterflies
Stomach sinking like a rock in a lake
Every memory swims back to me
My ears sink in, the world spins round
As tears trickle down my bare face
Chss chss chssssss
It's a thunderstorm striking violently
A flood destroying my soul
My spirit pounding viciously on my flesh
Thump thump thump thump
Nothing matters in this world anymore
Just the love I've lost and neglected
The pain suppressed under the cement
A scorching fire below naked feet
And so I conclude, listen to the tik tock
The crescendo is slow but escalates
Boom boom boom boom
Just like that the body sets fire
And what is lost is the ash we stand upon
The emptiness we all aggressively seek
Nothingness.

Most nights I lie awake drifting
Thinking of all those moments we shared
I wrote you a letter once
You came and we danced like lovers
Everything was as it was meant to be
As time has quickly passed
I find myself still yearning
For your voice and touch
So mellifluous so true and caring
Yet I'm here alone, wasting away
Simply dreaming of the days
When we lit the sky on fire
And breathed one breath
In the depths of the woods

I've created a time machine
How I did,
            I cannot say
I blindly leave eighteen
And now,
      I've aged five years
To a body that I've seen
I've regressed,
      To my younger mind
I hold keys that lost their sheen
And unlock the doors,
      Of a wounded soul
To stealthily tread what's been
Lying in birth,
      Drenched in salted diamonds
I drink from this rusted canteen
Quenching youth,
       Destroying truth
I move about in this scene
Like a dream,
        It's my own visage
Of a world that's become gangrene
Where I operate,
       And remove the infected limb
I've created a time machine,
How I did,
          I cannot say
But I know that this was forseen
By my thoughts,
          In a ship above the sea

My mind is aquiver with these thoughts that swarm like bees
Yet just the same my body trembles by the touch of your skin
As your mellifluous voice makes silent the buzzing in my ears

It's strange you see, the paradox that is us, you and I together
There is terror and calm, there is beauty and horror in it all
Like a sort of Yin and Yang but more so just a tug-o-war

With this I look in the past and question the limerence that was
It blinded us and deceived us like a butterfly hiding from a predator
We thought we knew what Love was, but maybe it was never made

We only rubbed our eyes and like phosphenes we saw an illusion
Colors that may only exist in a moment, but aren’t pure reality
Our lives together became so flawed in all we tried to conceive  

The moments of bliss and happiness were always just ephemeral
We got caught up in oblivion, because we lost ourselves before
There never was a truth to see, we were birds flying as if deaf

With this I come to a resolution that our relation was merely cromulent
We attempted to ameliorate something that was doomed from the start
Yet I think there was a sort of dalliance, but simply rooted in the flesh

Truth will never remain hidden
Even through all the forbidden
It will pound endlessly within
A caged bird in our sin
Waiting to be set free
By the One who holds the key
Madness will take its reign
Light will dwindle in the pain
But my disconsolate child
All will cease in the wild
Winter will bare you to bone
Beside a vacant throne
That Truth will claim
To cloak you in passion's flame
Igniting your lifeless eyes
Calming your sobbing cries
You'll lay upon His chest
Succumbed by peace and rest
For Truth will never cease
Even in a swarm of bees

The vulture, the girl, the boy**
The door rumbled and chills ran down my spine
It was time, she said, to fall beneath her hell
As quickly as she unlocked the door
A burst of stale burning air rushed through
And her neck was wrung like a bird
She became the vultures prey
He gorged on her fragile frame
Crushing her like an empty soda can
The blood rushed through her skin
She was swollen and crimson on the surface
But black inside as death took shelter
She lost it all at last to the devils hands
He left her alone to fight the evil she was dealt
But she lost the war long before the battles
Her desires tasted like salt
Burning her wounds from all her life
They dried her out like a desert
Where she choked on sand that blinded her
The boy never knew how much she needed him
He’ll never know how much he meant
Since fear shackled her to the ground
And the vulture feasted on her heart
That caused her to leave without a sound

Notes to the one who doesn't Know

The time has slowly passed
My heart stagnant in the drift
You've left my body empty
I've lost my spirit when you left
I cannot explain this all
I'm lost in the abyss of the fall
Yet I find myself running
Consistently from the love
That I've only purely felt
With You

Everything. You. Me.
It was our heaven
A home within the wild
The child cradled
In the carriage we made
My dear I love you forever
And my soul has been null
With out You

For her to breathe
I must tap
              tap
                  tap
The rhythm of her soul
As I ****** her blood
Through
her
tiny
veins
And ignite her mind
I am the fuel
Of her life
The engine
To her
frail frail frame
That carries her
HEAVY
HEAVY
HEART
Oh she is light
She is beauty
But she cries
And I must bring her rain
That flows like the acid
In her stomach
To a porcelain dish
That twists
          turns
And lies
I allow her salt
To pour
For I cannot
STOP
Or she will close
those hazel eyes
And sleep in white
Singing in silence
So I run
          run
            run
For her spirit
is freedom
so I must keep going
I provide
I love
She is mine
I am hers
So let us dance
In her sorrow
And sleep in her truth

They tell me to write
But my heart is in my hands
With a seizing beat
There is nothing but frozen  time
Memories of distant days
When he filled my veins
And I tasted of summer honeysuckle
Wild berries and sweet sweat
But I've peeled my skin like an orange
And threw away the fruit
To leave nothing but rind
I've left myself to be a shell
An empty vessel in this life
Treading a desolate city
Of ghosts that know my past
Because we are the same
Our stories are fundamental tragedies of naive children
We've tattooed our necks
And bathed  in the salt
Of the choices we've made
And the lies that we keep
To live this world with our falsified beliefs
Our vanquished faiths
And blinded eyes

Our bodies illuminated in a single moment
These lives become one life
Only to fade in times hands
Dissipating in the air
A stale taste in my mouth
By bitter rinds we left
Remember when we burned
Without igniting our flesh
Through spirit alone
We found each other in our souls
As a singular entity beneath the sun
And under pouring stars
We were the doves of winter
The fireflies of summer skies
Now we are the forgotten
Lost ghosts of the world
Stealthily moving about
As the lovers that never met

I terribly wish I could express my love
For you, without breaking my neck
I try to hold back the tears as they run
Down my cheeks and I choke upon
Every tear that expresses how I feel
So strongly for you even after the years
Yet I still bite my tongue and listen to
The songs that remind me of the times
That we so courageously loved one another
Regardless of the struggles we had faced
And still today I effortlessly try to hold
Back all the feelings that linger in my heart
While fear reminds me I cannot say
A word that dances upon my tongue
About the way I move with the sound
Of the mellifluous voice of which you posses
It will seemingly be a strain in my throat
A weight upon every cell of my being
Until I can turn back after restlessly running
Away from the only happiness I’ve known
The very truth I once lived in the past

Our eyes caught a simple glance
Countless times
But this time I knew very well
You felt what I did too
A strange desire buried in the depths
Of our minds
I long for your touch
The soft caress of your hand
Upon my silken flesh
And the sound of you breathing
As you sleep so delicately
Aside my frame
I yearn for the words to leave my mouth
That speak the Truth
And everything you've done
Oh dear I'm here and always will be
Dreaming when it's us
Not you and I, but the universe
Within our bodies
Because we've found each other
Giving one another
The very breath we've been searching for

My vision went blank
The memory is gone
When I wasn't there

I was held captive
By the bottle of falsity
In the midst of a crowd

My deepest possession
Was stolen in the dark
I was more dead then them

But I woke up in life
In the hell of my sins
Drowned by own blood

A strange taste sunk in
Bittersweet like rind
But it burned like liquor

My flesh was emptied
I was carrying my heart
As it diminished in hand

The air was thick and wild
My lungs filled by dust
Of what was left behind

My song turned melancholic
As my soul hid quickly
With the depths of my spirit

The years passed
And like a mirage
They dissipated

Now I dine alone
At the broken table
I placed in my home

There's a part I've lost
A place I'll never find
I am the ghost of my death

Where has truth gone
And what has it become
But a grain in the sand
Lost beneath rocks
Of broken dreams
And crashing waves
Washed away and replaced
By lies that we all believe
Oh Believer
Oh Denier
Oh Lover
Oh Loather
Where has truth gone
In a whirlwind of hope
We latch onto anything
EVERYTHING
To follow something
But in this we fall
Cutting the ropes of our kites
Drifting
No longer soaring
Resting in the canopy
Of the jungle
Blinded from the leaves
Unable to see true ground
Devoured by the lions
Swept away by vultures
We are the black birds
Of forgotten being
So let us sink
Into oblivion
Enter space and become
The stars of veiled hearts
Shut those pretty eyes
And jump into this black-hole
We all have chosen
Oh Believer
Oh Denier
Oh Lover
Oh Loather
Where has truth gone?

The whirlwind it pulls
 This skin around my bones
Twisting my weak corpse
Crippling my body 
Drowning all my thoughts
Erasing the torment 
That you left in my mind
I can freely drift
Into the clear sea
Through an  inhalation 
Smoke beneath my wings
Where time dissipates
So I soar as a dove
Under the morning sun
And live on white clouds
In a lovely whirlwind 
Of prophesied demise

Promises I cannot keep
Seem to be my fatal flaw
I told myself I will not feel
And here you are within me
Like a painting in its start
You add the layers to what I lost
I'm the canvas to your hands
Being made into a masterpiece
A smile of infinite immortality
Gleaming in the summer night
Like a full moon in the sky
I'm pulling you closer
As you hold me by a string
The fishing line of friendship
And nothing more
Soon I'll be thrown back
To the waters that I know
Where I'll sink to the bottom
And graze on the rocks
Without you
Without life

The weeks quickly turned to months
As the air became thicker by the day
And this facade I played became me
I converted to the deceiver of my soul
In this life that grew into a stage

But as the dawn would set in daily
The reality I hid would unveil itself
And my thoughts rained on my mind
Like a thunder storm rumbling inside
My hand would grasp the bottle

I would drink from this glass
As if it were liquid gold from the gods
In attempts to quell the lightning
To seize the screaming within my bones
So that I could escape into a dream

Yet as quickly as I would fall away
I’d find myself right here in my room
A cocoon in my sheets on my bed drenched
By the sweat of all the demons I fought
In the slumber that was better than my head

If I said you mean everything to nothing
Would you believe me if I said that was me?
I am the empty null within your soul
The missing key you dropped
Lost in the muck along the trail
Drained by the rain
In a stream along the weeping willows
If I said you mean everything to nothing
Would you say I am that very thing?
The darkness in the night
Still and cold with a silent fight
Well look at me now
Right in my hazel eyes
I want to be your nothing
You are my everything
I want to lie in your fields of wheat
And be the purest nothingness
Not the void, but the peace
The nirvana you meditate to achieve
That is me
That is what I want to be
That is where we can be free
So I say,
You mean everything to nothing
Please believe me
Take my hand
Let’s be everything to nothing