Nobody sees it here, but
falling apart at it's made-up seams,
bringing life to an orifice
sits my heart, breaking from within,
tearing to shreds as
I go on about my day

It nauseates me, your happiness
I want to release my insides from their
hiding place, whenever I think of you
loving you makes me sick
what used to give my heart
warmth, now brings it nothing but
ice, releasing a cold frigid sensation,
numbing the world around me.

Your world keeps on turning,
as mine was frozen in your storm
the snow enveloping me
in a pit of empty glee
my patience is wearing thin, of
how I've grown too accustomed
to your form of love.

I have these issues
I can't begin to explain
I try to fight them, but always lose
all the loss and heartache, burning a hole in my brain

I walk into the darkness
each step is a painful memory
no light bright enough to spark this
so each day I try to enter a new and exciting reverie

But to my hopeful eyes
I am blindly surprised that the hurt goes on
working beyond the fixtures of my medicated pain
winning the battle between me and my vengeful brain.
I have these issues

Confidence is something we're allegedly taught
but somehow all of my teachings were naught

you see, I glazed over the part about self-compassion
the rest of my life spent in similar fashion

I try to re-learn all that my mind misconstrued
the hope I harbor within, I can't exclude

all I need is a bout of trust, courage, and medication
my aim is a newfound liberation