Nikita

Nikita Jun 2015

Ignited

Im always on the verge of tears.
My chest always feels too tight .
I dont even know whats wrong,
But nothing seems to be going right.

#tears #wrong #nothing #know #right #chest #tight #verge

Nikita Jun 2015

Selfish

Creating sympathy off someone elses pain bugs me

Some statuses I see.. -sighs-

Nikita Jun 2015

Self-pity isnt productive

Have you ever wondered:
Why me?

Why did this happen to me and nobody else?

Well the truth is that it probably did happen to someone else, maybe even worse than the situation that you're in

So instead of asking "Why me?"

Start asking "How me?"
"How did this happen to me?"

Because the sooner you know that
The sooner you can learn from your mistakes

#self #truth #ask #how #asking #worse #instead #wondered #whyme

Nikita Jun 2015

Think before you speak

You claim to be friendly and caring
But theres a difference
Between disliking someone
And being a bully.

#speak #caring #bully #bullying #dislike #friendly #backstab

Nikita Jun 2015

Choking on fresh air

I dont know if i can do this
Which is selfish
I mean
I have everything most people could want
A house
Friends
Family
Food
A bed

But even with all this
I just feel numb
Like my chest is caving in
And I cant breathe
All the time
I feel myself slipping away
All the time

But noone seems to notice unless I tell them
Yes I want attention
But only because I feel so trapped

I want help
Not ******* sympathy.

#friends #need #food #selfish #family #chest #handle

Nikita Jun 2015

Close to the edge

Falling apart
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally

I work so hard to please everyone
To help
To give
To smile
To be positive for other people

Yet i get nothing in return
A few extra hugs and aqquaintances maybe
The occasional thanks
Dont get me wrong
I dont expect anything in return

But i do expect that people would at least
Try
Because im sick of always putting in the most effort
Sick of being the one to pick up the pieces
Sick of the one walking in the shadows of others

I just want to be cared for
Not just cared about.

#regret #help #nothing #sick #try #care #expect

Nikita Jun 2015

Don't look

Theres a tightness in my chest
I cant breathe
I cant think

Thank god noones looking
Even though I kinda wish they would
But they are busy
Busy with their school work

I dont know why
Why I had a panic attack in class
There was no trigger
No stress
Just
No breath

It happens often
But Im scared that this anxiety
Is not just an illness anymore
It cant be treated anymore
Its as though its a part of me

A part of me that hugs me a little too tightly
Or strangles me a little too softly

Medication doesnt seem to be working and im feeling as down as ever.

#illness #anxiety #breath #me #lungs #part #mentality