Angels melt like candlewax upon their pedestals
And I stand here to find with you this heaven of mine has flown
Though some may find me ignorant of more than apparent facts
I still find myself in the man who carried out such acts

You helped me though you broke me and I must thank you for this
My body is somewhat stronger from the virus in your kiss
And these angels made of candlewax can be reformed with just a flame
Though, in sorrow, something was lost which will never make it the same

So who am I to get down on bended knees when tears come to my eye
Pray tell me soon if tears will help my journey to the sky
For though your intent may have been to break me, in survival lies my will
And I may not be flying soon, but I'm not standing still

Pray, heed the words that fall to the floor in the carriage of tears
Know she dares not cry in haste in caution, for weakness is fear
Dare to listen and understand and you might find yourself the exception
Sad is the song of the girl who bears flawless tears in the world of imperfection

Taste the ocean in the air as the dew drops fall from the grass
Silver pools collected and lying inside a basin of brass
Each drop so precious, but none more cherished than the ones that fall from her eyes
Earth and Heaven fading into grey, silenced by the tears she cries

Dare not shy away from the streams running down her face
Hold her tightly and secure her eternally in your embrace
Give a forever and forget her never in the sands and ashes of time
Sing of her tears and the gate that was open, sing of the hope in her eyes

Her fragile hands tailored strands of strings into ship sails
And each of her breaths moved the depths as they grew into gales
To say she moved me would understate the gravity of things
As she sent me to unknown places upon linen wings

And oh, those linen wings would sing and cling onto the air
The ocean foam so far from home reminiscent of her skin so fair
Her voice ever ringing in my head and her touch fresh on my heart
Her eyes in every starlit night making sure home I could chart

Each hour I'd remember the red ember of her hair and her lips
As fragile hands wove those strands with prayers on fingertips
In the light of home she placed pieces of her heart in the sails she made for me
In hopes her beloved would return home once more from the endless sea

So here I journey on from night to dawn, dusk to day
Memories of skin, foam white, and her eyes at night showing me the way
Wishing for the fire of home inside her hair and lips
As she sends gales into woven sail leading me home to her kiss

I would trade a dollar fifty just to have a moments peace
And it may not seem much, but in truth, it's all I have
The winding of the clock on my wrist seems to never ever cease
And all my friends try to reassure me it's not that bad
But each ticking, talking second speaks to me in a impish voice
Waving goodbye as they jump out my window pane
Too much work, so much trouble, popping bubbles called my dreams
As the ticking, talking rings around my brain
So let's trade

There is nothing that comes free in this world of hollow shells
And the only thing more hollow are the victories
For as time rolls by the lines in my face become more evident
And my eyes squint as I try to look for grasses green
Every noise that enters my ear, every person who beckons me
Is a clamp upon my chest leading to a heart attack
So many things that I've done in the past and presently
That I find the hardest thing's not looking back
So here's my dollar fifty

I know you read, hear this, know this entire rhyme to be as true
As the blue we try to paint on greyer skies
I would beg you take my money now, because the clock is ticking down
With this poem alone at least half an hour's gone by
So I get on my knees and pray for one minute and thirteen seconds
To the one who outlasts space and all time
I would be lying if I said I didn't feel my age counting down the hours
So all I can do is pray for peace of mind
And offer my dollar fifty

Brave
Oh heart of depth
Another round of applause
For works of art that try the mind
A truly worthy cause

What goes into your process
The journey that you choose
The words that always win
In a soul that seems to lose

Bravo
Oh heart of depth
Your crescendo in evident
Each work of art a tortured one
Every word worth its pence

Quiet lips which grace your solemn expression
With eyes that blaze and scream with pencil's tip
No failure, just falling in your view
Little infants of poetry birthed within your grip

Bravo
Oh heart of depth
Tumultuous in the veil of words formed
Falling into underestimating eyes
Knowing not the whirlpool they swarm

Tasting poisons a friend recommends
Saying that it's a must
While this liquid crumbles my insides and turns them all to dust
As my trust dwindles from the word
The word that brings tears to my eyes
The word they call gift, that is actually curse
And a word that I've come to despise

Look within and see an ending, a note that says simply "no"
Watch sorrow leak out till I am hardened inside
And see in this dust that hatred grows
And flows, and grieves, and rages, and bleeds,
And scream that I am so tired
That my light is dim, I'm hanging by a thread, and doused is my fire

Yet here I stand with poison in hand and all the world demands
So with bottle in hand I drink
Believing this chase will bring an end to this race, and try to change the way I think
And here's a toast to worries and woes
And the "will she call" and the "will she care" and the "why do I?"
And again and again and again, I come in, yet no blue comes to these skies

Till I'm dead. Hardened. Fearful. Angry
A shell of the man I once was
The pushing and shoving of a conforming world leaving me hollow because
Love is poison, make no mistake
Love is a poison from which we all wish to dine
And the more ill we get, with problems and frets, the more we drink and in time..

We as we once knew ourselves... are gone.

Woefully, Viola sings and beautiful are her cries
Calling lovers, come and gone, to flash before her eye
Shimmering upon the dust filled air, touching her gentle frame
Each a note of mournful bliss, each one known by name

Strong and clear does her sound ring in solitary company
Uncomparable and unconquerable, untamed in all heartstrings
Cascading in a sorrow that moves the soul to break
Viola bends and tells her story, what music it does make

Crimson is the sheen that covers every inch of her
Melody in tragedy deplicted in each word
Echoing through mind and body, Viola misses not a cue
Lovely, deeply, sensually, Viola calls to you

My melody lies in my Melanie and my Melanie has been lost
A casualty to this reality and love, sadly, the cost
And my Melanie will forever go as she came, with a smile
With me standing sighing, with insides crying and trying all the while

To find music in the world that's sorefully out of key
For the melody has been lost to me along with Melanie
The song is off and the musical canceled, the birds staring silent
All colors have seemed to have faded and I hear the unnatural quiet

And all I can find is I long for a melody
The world, decieving, has me believing that music has been lost to me
And I find Melanie may be gone to me, but she's not who I'm mourning
Overtures and scores all scream that the melody was the dream

The dream that happiness was two heart kisses away
That I could bring my passion for her as I do the melody in my day
So I have now the truth written on my brow and Melanie I no longer resent
Me being in the symphony of love without an instrument

But I will play once more...

(Verse 1)
Write a letter
Pray the tides will change
Don't forget her
In lands so cold, so strange

Sing horizon
Show me where she left off
She is smiling
Waiting for me to come on home

(Bridge)

(Verse 2)
Keep me alive
Past the winter and summer days
Help me survive
So I'll meet a tender embrace

Never let go
Pray for the safest of returns
Within I know
I will find my way back home

(Chorus)
Summer day (Summer days)
Summer nights (Summer nights)
Some are simple way of holding you

Winter moons (Winter moons)
Winter lights (Winter lights)
Wandering on earth, but on my way back home

(Bridge)

(Verse 3)
Looking onward
Keeping him locked in my mind
Pressing forward
Never leaving him behind

No more sorrow
Make Decembers feel like June
Maybe not tomorrow
But I know he'll be home soon

(Bridge)

(Verse 4)
I am waiting
See the ocean toss and turn
Past the shading
Of my skin, my soul does burn

Never wonder
I give love to you alone
Never cast asunder
Is my love, he's coming home

(Chorus)
Summer day (Summer days)
Summer nights (Summer nights)
Some are simple way of holding you

Winter moons (Winter moons)
Winter lights (Winter lights)
Wandering on earth, but on my way

Summer day (Summer days)
Summer nights (Summer nights)
Some are simple way of holding you

Winter moons (Winter moons)
Winter lights (Winter lights)
Wandering on earth, but on my(your) way back home
Wandering on earth, but on the way back home
Dearest love, just know my love is safe at home

(End)

We are all but sailors who drift upon love's seas
But one thing I can't seem to decipher is if the lighthouse is you or me
For this wretched tide tosses and turns me into a face in the crowd
And I pray to God that searchlight will turn on and finally single me out
For I am sick with love for you and seem to be obscured
Pondering on which of us is ill and which is the cure
And all I know is seasickness is making me yearn for home
And the open doors that are your arms let me know you're sick of being alone
So I will weather the storm clouds and the ever tossing sea
And I will look to you and know I'm the one for whom you're waiting
For when it comes down to star-struck hearts that finally choose to collide
It matters not on the infliction or remedy but that they're brought together in time
With this in mind I will fall in love with you and wrestle my way to the coast
So then you can see the days have been long and of my journey I will boast
And any treasure I find, whether lighthouse or sailor, is worth the world to me
But until then, if you seek me, my love, look outwards to sea

If words can move, then why are you standing so still
When I am an arms length away just waiting to be filled
With love that spills out such wondrous things
Like our mouths and our tongues, oh so steadily pulling

And yet you stand there alone with cinder block-like feet
Not moving a single inch so my arms cannot reach
And I've gone the distance and words have pushed mountains for you
All I'm asking is just one step, that all you have to do

Yet you stay and say there's no more to be done
These words that move have failed me, for you they have not won
And not one single inch comes from your mouth, your feet, or you
Until, in sorrow, I find I can't move

I seem to want to find you here amongst the shrouded leaves
To hold my hand so we may fly beyond the forest's trees
The freckles on your silky cheeks seem as kisses from the sun
And I find my longing grows stronger to kiss each and every one
The way you smile at me leads me to the brighter days
Pushing all my wrong-doings back to their cryptic graves
For all my heart's eye can see is Sara's lovely hue
In world's where grass is always green and skies are always blue
She sings to me a love song each time our lips dare touch
And purchases a heart given which loves her so very much
In her sapphire eyes lies my solace and excitement all in one
The girl who finds me amongst the leaves who's been kissed by the sun...

Eyes that stare at me with such depth that I shudder when I look directly
Hair which curls around my finger and bounces simply perfectly
Giving me a preview of a sunrise that hasn't yet been seen
Gazing at darling Jenny and knowing only she does this to me

Watching the heavens with such wonder as she litters them with stars
Hoping that she sees me from palaces in clouds from afar
Yet holding her with such unwavering dedication and never letting go
Seeing my dear Jenny and feeling her love's glow

Hearing every whisper, every hark, and every secret breath
Binding a love that I know will not be abolished by this thing called death
Shining in a world where humdrum people flock in by the many
Loving her for all she's worth, wanting my dear Jenny

Jenny's hands are the only ones which soften my rugged fingers
Before and after she leaves the room I find her scent does linger
Her silouette is one I look for each time I enter the door
Hearing her soft footstepstouch the cool, wooden floor

I will keep my dearest Jenny for as long as long can last
Seeing the timeline in her eyes of both our future and our past
Knowing that we will be in a love with no questioning or regret
And lying with her as her eyes close in and under her eyelids are sunsets

Prevailing
You were supposed to be there
Five foot three with brunette hair
With eyes that held the kind of stare
That could strip these walls down

Bring me back to ground

Sounding words out to make sure the emphasis
Is on the feeling I found I missed
Which you showed me within a kiss
That was some thing new
Temporary bliss

And now you’re this

Prospect
There’s a new perspective
Mission statements paint directives
As I dive into introspective
To make sure intents are pure

Is this intense? Well, sure...

So long a heart obscure
Feelings, malady and cure
Potent potions cause commotions
That I must endure
In an analysis of myself
So I might be worthy of the wealth
That comes in the form of a girl
Of a gift beyond this world
Coveted amongst any and all
The darkness broken by creeping dawn

A hope that you may text back
But a knowing that you’re
Gone

My time has come, my love
My time has run out
So with a sigh I lean forward to kiss your hand
And I pray my lips will never touch your skin again

For the Devil, oh the fiend
The Devil has called my card
And a deal must be honored even amongst the wicked
And a soul must be taken, my love

Hear my heavy footsteps
Hear them echo through the halls
As I walk towards the door
To see you nevermore

See the dark clouds engulf the evening
Hear the thunder roar
Feel the heat in the room as the door creaks open
For I will see you no more

Fear the figure standing in the front
The pale man with red, wicked eyes
The man who holds your love
In a paper signed with blood

Look for me in heart and nowhere else
Pray we never meet again
For all that awaits me is fire and anguish
But a price must be paid for a prize

Hear the moaning of the wind
As the Devil smirks and the door closes
As you sit there with tears in your eyes
And know that tears are temporary

Keep the door shut, my love
Forget the kiss upon your hand
Forget the weight upon your heart
For a debt has been paid, and I am this world's no more

So live on my love
Live the life I gave for you
And forget my touch and my memory
For love weathers even hellfire

A spaceman among all the stars, a long way from a blue sky
With lullabies inside recordings that are from long ago
Seeing reds of gas clouds through the window as they pass me by
The hum of the engines as they pass by many a moon's glow

And my eyes have seen all the wonders over and under multiple suns
As I travel each corner faster than the wink of an eye
Watching a dazzling ballet perform every day for a crowd of one
Shedding firework tears and sending me off with untold goodbyes

Fret not, I've yet to forget the grassy knoll that I once knew
In the days before the rocket's roar in the days long past
Within dreams I do dwell in the metal shell past the skies of blue
And the view of that blue marble someday just might be my last

There are many ways to hold her
Sometimes conventional is off
You see, hands have hurt before
I’m sure they’ll hurt again
She needs a different kind of love

You found this supernatural creature
Life’s defining “cherry on top”
She’s a rare find to be adored
For her both mind and heart must bend
To find a different kind of love

Have you asked what a kiss translates to?
Which words you’ve said have penetrated?
Gestures bring something to the table
Share in the happiness and bad
To find her prescribed dose of love

So many things to learn that are new
So many more ways love is translated
Find her dialect if you’re able
To appreciate, to awe, to add
New ways to different kinds of love

I’m slowly losing hope in you
Possibly in humanity
And I might need to rethink my views
Or maybe my sanity
I’ve tried, applied, cried, and died
With more of the first in between the others
I build up visions and am finding they lied
And I’m left wond’ring if I’ll recover
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I’ve not falling, but it hurts to stand
As life steadily beats me black in blue
With my beating heart in your hands
And I’m tired. And I’m scared.
And I’m lacking from too many investments
And in waiting for you to be there
I’m succumbing to the elements

I’m slowly losing hope in you
Like shedding one tear each day
And as much as I want to leave you behind
I don’t want you to go away
It’s a syndrome, it’s a sickness
You’re my ailment and my cure
I am caught in this self placed thickness
With visions so obscured
And I am buried in 6 feet deep
Yet I can’t find the ground
The value’s there, the price is steep
And I fall to it without a sound
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I have not wandered, I have not strayed
Amidst the fervent treasonous cues
That cause the pouring of fermented rage

And I love you
But I’ll lose you
And I’ll suffer through and through
With soul and heart churning
First clenched up and burning
And my screaming for a simple cue
But I’ll stand there amidst tears, my love
Without a hint or a whisper of what to do
And you can see I’m fighting with all I’m made of
I haven’t lost hope...

...but I’m starting to...

If he broke you
I’d try to piece you back together
And you’d cut me
And I’d bleed
And then promise to try a little better

You are weathered
And a feather
Made of steely tears and lead
You are cursed
Because the worst
Place for you is in your head
Making you smile makes me smile
And we both haven’t in some time
It’s upsetting
Your sun setting
And me praying for sunrise

And I will hold your pieces tightly
Tighter still, bleeding no doubt
Till I find it’s lack of blood or tape
That make my heart give out
That’ll make my ears buzzy
Head fuzzy
Vision go askew
But if I die
It won’t be for lack of trying
It’ll be for bounties of you

Lovely girl across the world, in my state of mind you dwell
Your feet and legs covered in sand, your hair lettered with shells
Over, under, and inside my heart, your castle wins the prize
Making up in personality what you may lack in size

I've devised a cunning plan, you see, to bring us close together
And I'll enclose all the details in the contents of this letter
Not one more day can go by with me being so far from Grace
And so I'll trek over the land and seas so see the face

Of the heavenly traces on Earth, I'd say that your the best
A mixture of both sand and sea, blood, bone, and quirkiness
Hope this letter finds you in high spirits wherever you are
And that in the night someday we'll upon the very same stars

For the one who loves you has brought up all the sheets he could find
And brought scraps of lumber together will nails that bind
Into a vessel to weather the sea that splits you and I apart
So the two piece puzzle may have a chance to link into one heart

And though I know the shore is your first love overall
I hope you will come to me if I ever dare to call
And I will hold soon enough as I peak on past the day
And know your lover boy loves you forever and always

Sleep dear child, hear lullabies
Screams echo in the street, love
Mother's whispers, closing eyes
No tears on your soft cheek, love

Sleep dear child, though fire does fall
Sleep in sultry peace, love
Ash your blanket, tinder calls
The sky burns, so dream in sleep, love

Sleep dear child, no crying now
Ground cracks beneath our feet, love
Sweet dreams through nightmare, see not storm clouds
The nightmare's almost complete, love

Sometimes I type and late at night
I cannot feel my fingers
But there they are, words on the screen
Filling pages as my body lingers
My ceiling parts and I depart
As I gaze into space
But the stars are far too dull to see
So all I see are your eyes

I think my brain's running away
Hand in hand with my trailing heart
And ****** footprints float from empty caverns
Flowing into my art
And I find the ground long since gone
I am lost and at a loss
My memories no longer mine
Only picture books filled with you

So I sink deeper in the drink
So I float further than intended
Searching the ether for "je ne c'est qua"
Heart and mind long gone, soul unattended
I still can't feel my keyboard
Only the memory of the feel of your skin
My words reflecting all that compose me
And they all fall back to you

Dust filled air and air filled lungs
Desert all around
I walk aimlessly as I am pushed
By walls of words, of sound
Buzzards flying overhead
Ready to swoop down
But here I am
Alive

Sun filled sky and sky filled eyes
Squinting as I look
The heat that beats down on me now
Feeling my skin cook
And words echo in my head
Buzzards over, sand and soot
And here I am
Wandering

Sand under feet and feet trudging sand
Legs longing to give way
Survive, survive, words tell me to
As my body, heavy, sways
And the buzzards tell me to ignore
To give up to the day
Yet still I stand and walk
Alive

Eyes transfixed, care to take a second look
Lies spill like oil out of the picture book
See the ever present glazed look in her gaze
The levels of misery just might amaze

The smile superglued onto a falling face
This plastered image in a foreign place
A trick of light, my love, and that is it
Photographed half-truths, often edited

Bind them together, for a story we must fabricate
Smash the window to see the masterpiece we make
Distort and contort a slump into paradise
Hear the people wish for a second they had your life

Look back on smiles and then upside down
See the dull eyes behind the makeup of the clown
The lights are on, my dear, paint on a pretty face
So we can reminisce fondly of the happy fakes

Trembling vision and quivering knees indicate your world is shaking
A sinkhole beneath the concrete once thought of as a foundation
A tapestry of normality ripped violently to pieces
As you find yourself falling once again

A bleeding heart within my sight, a glass wall in between
As you pour your insides onto the floor and I look on helplessly
And I would offer a healing word, but the world drowns them silent
As I find you there, falling once again...

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and see my heart stays true
Beyond the foamy ocean's grasp to where the skies of your eyes are blue
Look for me upon the clouds and call for me in a dream
Lead me home with a beacon whose light comes in steady streams

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and let no tear nor whimper escape
See the silver spoon that lies on my overflowing plate
Know that every gift that graces my hand reminds me of you
And know I look towards the horizon as I keep you in my view

Call me homeward, Alexandra, I await your sultry kiss
Walking on to find that you are my only form of bliss
Seeing you upon the shore as the wind combs through your hair
Whispering to you of how your love wishes he were there

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and I will not be long
Listening to your heart beckon with its harmonic song
I am on a distant shore, but in faith, my life is yours alone
For only when your call does cease will I find myself are home

If the sun would shine on me for just a little more
I could finish these few lines and know who I write for
Darkness is coming soon and I find my time is fleeting
A pen and paper in setting sunlight with lines that need completing

My lungs are tired and my throat hoarse from screaming past the distance
Arms so sore from wrestling with my heart and its resistance
Persistently finding myself with no wisp of what to do
Trying to find the proper lines that lead me up to you

Sun stand still, keep your place in this purple, dimming sky
Let me finish the words to my beloved in one last try
All my trying has come to naught, in purple, black, or blue
Dearest lover, pray the sun stands so I might search for you

Your voice was never mine in morning
You were a bird of later light
And you would smile
Each day
Each day
To say that you’re alright

You needed your coffee
To satiate your internal plight
As hungriness
Would sway
Would sway
Your mood ‘till your first bite

The crunch of butter covered toast
Your taste of the egg whites
You chose the yolks
To stay
To stay
Your breakfast at its height

You’d smile and say good morning
And there you were, my perfect wife
We’d go outside
Parkways
Beach days
Or an afternoon hike

It’s been a month and you’ve gone now
I dream of you at night
I think of you
Always
Always
As tears I consistently fight

I sleep inside our bedroom
I still whisper to you “Sleep tight”
You went in your sleep
No pain
No pain
After fighting with all your might

Your voice was never mine in morning
But you were my sun, so bright
And I find I miss
Your grace
Your face
Amidst the morning light

If my heart could rip apart and make a song for you
I would have enough to make the words using scissors and glue
And each piece of my heart would drip, not with blood, but passion warm like June
I only pray whoever sang wouldn't fail to be in tune

The rhythm would no be from a heartbeat, but in the steps I take
Each of which go through hill and dale to see that love, they make
The pace is good, the timing now, you wait for me to sing
But not until you know this song intimately through it's recipe

And I would give you all these things if you'd only give it a voice
A melody that flows and winds, laughs and cries, a choice
To dedicate to such a song until our dying day
And with the combined bits of separate hearts, a song would be played

Goodnight, good day
Alright and okay
I'm on my way out of bed
Days pass so long
Blink and they're gone
Yet you go on in my head

Long sighs, first kiss
Longing for true bliss
I reminisce of you there
In evening light
Of you I write
Technicolor eyes, rosy hair

Hear you, here me
Always fearing
Of you disappearing from my mind
Good day, good night
Be in dreams tonight
So that I might never say goodbye

And I saw candles in the skylight
That forced me to look outward
Their flickered flames in twilight
Made is so there was not an echoed word

I looked upward, onward
At a world ending above me
As if a deaf man’s silence as he hears
The first strings of a symphony

Under that purple and crimson sky
The masses joined my gaze
Looking to horizons, not one eye dry
As endless candles floated in the haze

The sun it set, or did it burst?
A gasp, a rush, then no more
As candles fell from darkened sky
And set fire to the floor

But I will remember the penultimate
The flickered flames in technicolor sky
The beauty near the ending for which I was present
As all and all and all said goodbye

I may seem so heavenly in all the things I say
The words that fly with silken wings may chase your gloom away
But I, in all, tell lies of love, for I've found not one that lasts
So I apologize to you for poems of the past
Tears fall continually into the pen with which I write my words
Manipulating romantic tendencies so I may somehow be heard
But even the most vile demon can speak words of honeydew
But all you'll find is with those words they run off to hell with you
So look at me beyond this shell and say those three words again
And if you find they are sincere, I will stay until the end
But until my scribblings on this paper turn to played-out verbs
Beware of me and of promises, for they may be only words...

If I write these words a hundred time, maybe they'll be true
Chasing each fabricated memory alone
Give me technicolor instead of skies of blue
So I can create a world of my own

Welcome here, welcome dear, here you are secure
In the room I've made for you in my heart
Fantasies of you within my mind will endure
In a dream from which I pray I never part

Lovely vision, oh mixture of mind and soul
I'm fighting to keep you alive
In this reality I feel out of control
Struggling for my world to survive

So let me say these words a hundred times
And maybe a few more just for me
Trading this world, for a dream so sublime
So fantasy will become reality

Eyes could not see what the mind would not let it
Yet the ears heard something, the soul would not forget it
And I stood amongst the sheer multitude
And all I saw was walking dust until I heard you

Your voice resonated with words not meant for me
A dress of tulip yellow walking through a greyish sea
And eyes glimpsed only this but ears focused upon her talking
A sultry ship of melodies in a ocean of dust walking

On and on I searched amongst the colorless and dreary
Until my eyes were red from searching, weak and weary
And I tried as I could to visualize, but my mind just would not let it
The tulip with a melodious voice, and my soul which would not forget it

Patiently waiting with wide eyes is she
The ******* the clouds who gets caught up in dreams
Looking through the fluff and onward towards the sunshine
As rays burst in blues and yellows within her eyes
Such wondrous sights as she looks down below
Held by the warm light, never to feel the snow
The rain falling down only to quench her ruby lips
As wisps of the clouds run between her fingertips

I'm falling from a height that I once boasted of
In a sky that is way too clear, but still it looks like rain
And I'm crashing through a glass ceiling that some call love
And aside from the shards in my back, I can't really complain

And the view from each story get less and less breathtaking
So I guess I must rely on my mind for the rest
Each glass floor and ceiling I crash through seems to be my dreams
But they say once I hit the ground floor, it'll hurt a bit less

And the words of the worldly wise ring clearly in my head
Telling me of how death is the greatest adventure of all
But I swear on my life I won't believe it until I'm dead
For what could be more utterly thrilling than a rather long fall

And my life flashed before my very eyes, but I think that I missed it
The commercials in between just made me want to skip the whole thing
The volume was too low and the plot was too slow with few good bits
And I'm much more preoccupied with the crashing and falling

How long I would fall was a wonder beyond comprehension
Whether Heaven or Hell would be at the end, I had no clue
But before I feel the thud of the ground floor, I guess I should mention
If I die from this fall then at least I was falling for you

You see, she rose like a forgotten dream
And I was witness to her, the loudness of a whisper
The beauty, the strength, the frailty
The fragile words that failed me
Her pale skin echoed in my mind
And since then she has never left
Not a second of her will ever leave
Her softened lips and fingertips
The most sultry of melodies

You see, she rose like a forgotten dream
The flower encased within a falling star
The soft definition, the piercing tenderness
An oasis in a desert of duress
With every eye saying the very same thing
Hearing each footstep as if they’d sing
Such wordless wonders were her everyday
Her sweet perfume littering the room
My love, my hope, my arisen dream

Hearts wrapped up in hope, eyes glazed with fear
Minds entangled in the thought of how did we get here
World so... ****, can't find the word... world so... well, you know
That word so big and so complex, the word that won't let you go
Captured by beauty and sorrow, both always and never guaranteed
Lovely kisses stand the "yin" and the "yang" our own selfish deeds
Who's to say that both must exist? Have we made it so hard
To heal ourselves and clear the book of chapters that leave generations scarred
Or are we too far gone in a world where tomorrow is a letdown
Trying to grow in a once in a while when the rain annually touches the ground
We are here and we are now, so now is the time to see
Arise from what you're wrapped up in and create a memory
Fear is a state of mind and hope is rising to aspiration
Both are here and fluctuate, byproducts of man's creations
So here we stand on the precipice of tomorrow, in a world of an absent word,  in love or strife
Glazed eyes looking for clarity in the yins and yangs of life

"Angels can't be black, stupid" she said to me
And she said it so matter-of-factly
To the eight year old boy with a figurine
That his mother gave him, looking so kindly
And I didn't know of her words nonsensicle
But everywhere I looked, in books, store windows and tv specials
I saw that angels in serenity with floating halos
And all of them were white

So I was down, not surprisingly
Because think of how mad or sad you'd be
To find Heaven's hosts had no minorities
And that an angel could not be made of me
And angrier I became as on tears I choke
To be the **** of that little girl's joke
And to find all the words my mother spoke
Might be only lies and fairy tales

And with my head planted on my desk
The angel next to me did rest
As my teacher saw my distress
And question my obvious bitterness
I shrugged her off and her query grew
"Nik Bland, what in the world's eating you?"
And I told her what that girl and the whole world knew
About the fable of my figurine

And she listened to my childlike woes
As tears streamed down, sobs did grow
And she nodded as I said I did not know
A single place in the bible where minorities showed
A trace and she went up to the class
And spoke that, scientifically, in the past
It's been shown that the brown skinned and blacks
Were the colors of the first of the human race

So that sparked a fire within my mind
To realize that if humankind
Found a way to travel back in time
They might be seeing an ethnic Adam and Eve
And she showed me on the map the Middle East
And my heart rate slightly increased
To see it held Israel and Bethlehem, doubts then ceased
As I saw the mixed skin color of their people

And as the class pondered this, she came to me
And told me very quietly
Of her and her Christianity
And of Jesus, whose chose his mixed coloring
And with tears in her eyes, she put that angel in my hands
And to me that I must understand
That God looks past the color of the man
For He painted us all

And Christian or not, you must admittedly
Say that the world is a piece of artistry
That is incomparable to any man has in the making
And that we are all living here equally
And show we pass on, some soon than most
But with belief in Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
That eight year old boy could proudly boast
About the angel, so serene... and black

She left in June
Flew
As expected
But she was in my arms
Moments
Only thing I could count on
Because in her nature
As is nature
How could I expect
Even want
Something, someone
Her
To stay
Caged in kisses
Locked in embraces
Chained in the affections
Shackled by the addictions
Of one boy
Mascarading as a man

She was her own creature
A lioness in rabbit’s cloth
No ******* around
Light on her feet
Freely does she run
But she never runs away
She just leaves
As expected
Brightest day turn darkest light
And I
I choose to remember the stars
For even though she leaves
Arms empty, hearts gaping
Eyes wanting, hands shaking
Knees weak, minds struck
She leaves
Moments
Embodied in stars
And I count on each one
As I count each one
As I account each one
And each one
Stays

If I could find a way to fade away
To crawl away from love, the haze
The hands that shake, the heart that breaks
My feet that crumbles as if earthquakes
Are shaking ground that I stand on
The headache here, that heart that's gone
The crying still, the want, the will
To satiate this fervent chill
The ill I feel, the known unreal
Expectations that we steal
From the person who found it all
The rise that leads to final fall
And on we go, and on we've gone
Enforced, we run to chased the dawn
Only to reach the edge of worlds
Dropping to abyss, dismissed, unfurled
Until we found there's nothing left
In love, no life, in dreams, find death

She would vanish if she could
Disappeared and gone for good
But then again she never understood
How much she needed to be

The world a land of passing glances
Fading dreams and phony chances
Made it so I’d find she dances
Betwixt reality and a dream

And there she’d sit in silent splendor
The realest of dreams wanting to surrender
Because of a reality that had rendered
Her unable to fly

And so in silent rage, sadness, fear
The dream wished she could disappear
And soon she’ll be away from here
Without so much as a goodbye

Trace the stars with your fingernail and tell me you don't see her face
Let five seconds pass and you could swear you almost feel her embrace
Oh little wonder of wonders how I wonder how you are
Whispering into your starlit ear that I pray you don't venture far
'Cause pardon me for still dreaming, but miracles are very much alive
And that's just what it would take for me to catch your twinkling eye
As I sit here on solid ground and the grass that's not so green
I crane my vision up and could swear your image winks at me
And I believe

See comets collide in natural fireworks that outdo the attempts of man
Try to comprehend the universe and realize it takes more than one lifespan
Then take it all and put it in the wonder that is this simply wonder-full girl
Feel your heart rush up to your neck and your pace stop as she reconfigures your world
Hear the cymbals chime each and every time those crazy comets choose to crash
Marvel at the millions of natures home-cooked mysteries in a single eyelash
Don't get too overwhelmed by the waves of passion that engulf you each time she passes
Just pop the cork, let the cool champagne run, and make sure there are no empty glasses
And know I believe

Twist and turn
Lessons I've learned are burned
Into this fragile skin
And here I stand

One by one
Visible, done and done
Look deep into myself
Unable to see someone else

Run and fall
From reflections, build walls
Trying so hard to stall
But I always catch up with me

Twist and turn
All of these scars I've earned
All the stories still burn
And they are me and I am them

I find I am hollow
Empty
Serene in the silence
Alone
My feet soundless, swift
My face unmemorable
My hand shook by men of passionate deceit
And I find myself filled with their purpose

Purpose of others drives me
Craving no prize, praising no God
Only me
Only violence
Soul pushed to the cages in the back of me
My body is honed
My weapon part of me

I fly but no wind follows
I break the unmendable
Harbinger of silence
Deliverer of death
Revealer of mortality
Ender
Money and treasure for blood and breath
Unrelenting, unavoidable

Hands choking pulse from veins
Slowing
Necks crack as they swing out of place
Breaking
Gun hot from parting lead bullet
Body heavy as it drops
Death will come swiftly to any, to all
Until I am emptied once more

Tenderly, sympathy, each stroke of the pen
Tears in her penmanship, writing again
Tragedy entangling beautiful stories
Fallen angel jots down faded history

Slicing apart dreams with which she's well-acquainted
Sweat and blood compose the pictures she's painted
Frail in her beauty, so silently she writes
As pen presses to paper deep within the night

Starving eyes met and stirred conflicted hearts
Realizing the pain and sorrow that flows into her art
And on they read until she transfers tears into our eyes
As she whispers such tragedies, a goodnight and goodbye

Paint me a world in the eyes of a child who finds refuge deep in my arms
In them let me see the best pieces of me, let life bring them no harm
Let love be in their life and let their lives be in love from sunset to sunrise
Give me a glimpse into a love encapsulated within their eyes

Catering the soul of this penniless pauper is the gentlest of hands
Words sweetly singing a symphony of love that echo for all to understand
Branded are in ways so pure, long lost to the sand of time
All this for me to feel as that child places their hand in mine

And I could be a commode...
A common
A common oddity
With Mira Cole
Miracles
Coming out of me
Please excuse my stout
My strut
My s-s-stuttering
Not being ******
I mean this
Wouldn't be missed-ery
I could come and then glow
And the grow
And then go so far away
To expressly convert
I mean overt
Avert from the things I say
And just so the gray
No, the way
No, the day would illuminate
I would rise a ***
I mean above
All the shyness and the hate
I could sleep
I mean weep
Because of the weak things I say
S-stammering
Stuttering
It brings out the worse in every way

There is a rose as red as blood
With stem a shining gold hue
That I had found in forbidden lands
And longed to pick for you

This unmatched wonder entranced me
Captivating my mortal soul
But as I reached for this piece of loveliness
I was caught by silver thorns and let go

It was as if a fairytale
That was so unreal; you'd believe that it's true
And I felt my blood run down my fingertips
As red as the rose I tried picking for you

Had Midas been no fable?
Was this his prized jewel?
Had he set this royal majestic object
To inspire poets, lovers, and even fools

So many questions laid in my mind
Both of the rose and soil in which it grew
For it was richer than any I'd set my wandering foot on
And birthed the rose I tried to pick for you

A dewy mist covered the land
The sun shining just enough to light my way
It sang, this valley, this forbidden Eden
And I swear to return to it some day

And that ever enchanted flower
That shines so eternally new
Still left the imprint on my fingertips
With which lie on the hands which I hold you

And my greatest grand children will hear this tale
Of their greatest grandfather's memorable morn
And of how his journey to forbidden lands
Led to the rose of silver thorns

And if someday you find yourself there
With skies of an unmatched blue
I pray you see that flower with silver and red
From the blood of a lover who tried to pick it for you

Seeing passing cars that replace stars outside my window that shoot by on streets like lights in the sky
Shedding a single silver tear and never admitting to the fact I'm afraid they just might pass me by
Trying to find the floor as my feet hang from my bedside, but I've been asleep for way too long
Dream worlds are just as they say they are and someday I'll accept that, but as for now I fear I'm not that strong
Strung out like the song that keeps playing on the radio and aggravates the tenants in my head
Stubbed toes and headaches greet me as I shift through this humble room as if to remind me I'm not dead
It is far too early and I've been up far too late to greet the day with the vigor it deserves
Heating a simple cup of coffee to get a jump start on God knows what and trying to remember the purpose it serves
Seeing every moment through my eye and taping it in my mind, knowing the director will probably edit out this scene
Thinking of you randomly as I cut myself shaving and wondering if you have to deal with this monotony
Then realizing if you were here with me, Mary, if you were here with me we could share in this not so special day
And I would have a reason to get up in the morning but even more so for my mind to stay awake
Brushing my teeth as I take a shower and looking down at my feet at the drain and visualizing me sinking down
A mixture of toothpaste and water trail through my porcelain tub and disappear from my view into the ground
Jumping out of the shower and drying my hair as I look at the digital clock to see I've got fifteen minutes to truly wake up
To get dressed and proper, put on my hat, jump in my car,and be at that one place at that time for that other stuff
Looking at my unmade bed and knowing that if you were lying there in your tanktop and boyshorts I'd be right there with you
Knowing that if Mary was the one lying on my mattress with me then my day would consist of her in view
Waking up from my daydream to see that my safe fifteen has wound down to just an unsettling five
Throwing on my pants and shirt while balancing on one leg as my sneakers are slipped on and tied
Vigorously searching for my hat only to remember that I left it in my car yesterday
Running down the steps only to run back up when remembering I had forgotten my keys in my disarray
My positive minutes turn to waining seconds that yell at me and I bolt for my car door
Looking at my cell and muttering under my breath, wishing that my time was a bit more
Finding my half way marker in the seat of my car as my engine turns after the second or third time
Wishing you were in the passenger seat and not only just a wish in my mind