I re-read the thoughts that used to plague me inside
it still hurts to see those words strung into those sentences
I can still feel the depression, I can still feel the internal divide
I can still feel like that, time to time
I re-read my trauma in a blackened ink
re-reading it making it sink in deeper, I can see clearer now
I hope that in a year I will feel the same way
about this maze, I'm in
about this cage, I'm in
maybe I will break the door down on my way back in
no longer tethered to the way that it is
instead reimagining what the day could've been
with a little more confidence, a little more trust
with a little more dominance and more sword thrusts

I plant seeds of hope into my cranium
that ill be laid out in the meditterian
sea with the water hugging me
I plant seeds of hope into my cranium
that my heart is gold and titanium
and that I will never again know the lows that I've known
instead, I can just float
float away
swim away to a better place
one not plagued with flawed structures
one not filled with hungry vultures
always looking for their next ****, their next meal
but maybe it's just our culture, to ****
maybe these seeds of hope will
save me from this desolate land
grant me a benevolent man
so I plant my seeds again