The demons in me
are waiting for another
body to possess

4:17 PM
29/10/21

As I come to terms with
the heartlessness within me,
I lose count of how many times
my heart has been broken-
how many shards still remain.
I may never recall,
but what I do know
is that the love you seek
within me does not remain.

We are just
ordinary poets in
an extraordinary world.
We have no fancy words nor meter-
what sets us all apart are our stories
and no one can take that
away from you.

I feel better when
the memories of you and
I come flooding back

12:58 PM
3/4/22

The sunflowers
whisper your name
as they spell it in the fields.
They gently sway
as the scent is carried in the wind
and I am once again reminded
of your love.

I remember the memories
you left on my plate.
To this day,
they keep me satisfied
and leave me wanting seconds.

Dear diary;
Sometimes,
I let myself give in to the
hope of holding
you again one day.
False hope, maybe,
but it's the only thing that
gets me through
nights like these.

Dear diary;
I caught myself
thinking about you again.
I know,
it's nothing new-
I thought about you yesterday
and the day before that.
I need to work
on that...

Even though
I love you hard,
it is still so
easy.

You got used to the
shadows and solitude
where you always felt
most at home.

Not all goodbyes
are considered a loss.
Rather than see it as a separation,
See it as an opportunity
to start anew.

If not for the you I used to know
I would have thought you
to be a monster.

You are my sun,
and I am your moon.
Find your way to me across
the skies, the land and the oceans
and meet me at dawn.

I now know that
I cannot live without love,
but love alone is not enough
to vanquish these demons.
They are not so easily repelled by love alone,
in fact they are not satisfied
by anything at all.
They feed on the darkness
and in this emptiness,
they make their home.

Why do I write about you
when you cannot see my words?
I do it because my heart
will not let me have it any other way.
This feeling may silence this voice,
it may even destroy me,
but these hands will continue
to write.

I guess I wasn't
built for this whole love thing but
that's okay with me

3:48 PM
5/11/21

What if the flowers of spring won't blossom?
What if I never run through the fields again?
What if I can't make it through the winter?
What if I may never see you again?
What if you won't wait for me anymore?
What if we won't find a way?

The heart is
a heavy burden
for anyone
no matter how strong
they think they are.

I just try to keep
myself busy so that I
don't feel anything

11:40 PM
20/3/21

I either feel too
much or I don't feel at all-
there is no between

11:58 PM
28/6/22

When are you coming home?
I am still in the same place you abandoned me.
It is not distance that separates us,
but you who drives the rift.
How do you not see it?
The longer we isolate,
the more we suffer.
Are you happy like this?
Lost in separation?
It is not only I that you have lost,
but this family,
this love,
yourself...

I regret to inform you,
but I'm not home anymore.
I have left that place and all
the memories that remained.
One day I hope to forget
all the pain stored inside
the place I called my home.
Indeed, I have moved away from you
and I am not looking back.

Nobody wants to
be sad but we're human and
no one's free of it

9:32 AM
19/8/23

Some people stay
because they truly
understand you while
others leave for
the exact same
reason.
This is one of
life's greatest
ironies.

Take your eyes off yesterday
and look to me, the future.
Walk towards me, run if you must,
but do not be afraid of me.
Do not doubt yourself or I
and don't let yesterday hold you back.
Let go of the past, of all the pain,
the loss and the darkness and
do not look back.
You are close now,
I can feel you already,
come to me, the future.

You and I
are different people now.
Maybe if we met again
it would be like meeting
for the first time
all over again.

You were my greatest
sleepless night and my greatest
and only daydream

12:59 PM
9/5/21

Dear diary;
my life is far
from normal
but not so strange that I
should fear what
lies ahead.

You are the sun
shining upon me,
a withering sunflower,
from dawn until dusk.
We dance in the sunlight
and dream in the twilight
and flourish every day
underneath your brilliance.
So keep on beaming your magic
down upon this Earth
and make your alluring spell
last forever.

This ship is going
to sink despite the fact that
I can hold my breath

6:26 PM
15/8/21

By midnight,
I watched you fall
asleep,
as you watched me fall
in love.

Acknowledgement does
not equal attachment and
most of the time it is inevitable
to get lost in one or more
of these states of mind.
It is inevitable not to miss
what you once attached
yourself to.

The burden of hope
is bound to take its toll
on me,
yet it is all that
keeps me going-
such a dangerous thing
hope can be.

Sometimes its best to
forget when remembering
is just too painful

7:52 PM
25/8/22

The sun doesn't stop shining
just because we stop looking.
Why should you stop writing
if you think no one is reading?

Fingers on my skin-
your heavenly touch sure feels
like a sin sometimes

1:32 AM
2/8/21

Our story may have
been painful but it was my
favourite one to read

8:49 PM
16/9/23

It was easier when you were here.
You filled each day with a joy
I have not found since you.
No matter what came my way,
your smile was enough
to make me forget the pain
at the end of the day.

I find myself
in the same winter grave
year after year.
Lucky for me,
it's not too cold
for me to claw my way
back into the warm arms
of summer.

I will no longer
know anything about you
and you will no longer
remember my name.
I will no longer
cross your thoughts
and you will no longer
dream about me.
I will no longer
share your warmth
and you will no longer
hold these hands.

Dear Aria;
Merry Christmas;
I don't know how I got this far
without you but I
will keep going
for you.
I miss you.
I love you.

Words come and go but
feelings do not change, for they
remain fossilized

10:50 AM
24/9/22

Dear diary;
I am growing tired of this mind,
tired of overthinking, of the endless cycle.
"When will this day end? This week, this month, this year?"
I grow tired of society and their norms and expectations.
I want to enjoy life again, to be free, not just endure,
to go through the motions again and again.
I try to savor the good times like a rose,
to smell it, and see it in all its beauty,
until it withers away.
Indeed, I am tired of this winter,
and all the dreariness it brings.
I want to live.

How time flies
when my lips meet yours.
I close my eyes and
time does not
matter anymore.

You should aim to be
kind and loyal but not at
the cost of yourself.

4:18 PM
23/3/24

I don't think
I could ever fit in.
Sometime I feel I was born
to walk alone...
and that is okay.
I have known solitude
all my life and
thought some people will
never understand...
that is okay.

I have found havens
all over the world where I
can escape my skin

10:57 AM
14/9/21

To move on
is not to find someone new-
to move on
is to have no one
but still love
yourself.

If you make a heart
your home then surely you too
will end up homeless

8:10 PM
18/7/22

If some *******
should say we had a history
of any sort,
kick them in the head.
And if some *******
says were were in love,
kick them in the head
again.