You fill my life
with sunflowers the way
you light up the room
with nothing but your smile.

In this desert
we call life,
you are my
oasis.

I was walking in circles
trying to reach you
in your corner:
unattainable.
But fate intervened,
bridging our parallel worlds.
Just like that,
love bridged our paths.

Dear Diary;
why do I keep doing this
to myself?
The way I still check up on them
when I am nothing but
a second thought,
if a thought at all.
It’s no wonder I am
still a mess.
Why can’t I just
let it go?
Why can’t I just
be gone?

Dear Diary;
to be honest,
I don't mind being a little broken.
If it means that
these pieces of me
can make you whole then
that's alright with me.
I'm used to it
anyway.

In a world
full of weeds and thorns,
there are sunflowers like you
that bring beauty and bliss
into an otherwise bleak world.
Few are so lucky to witness
these sunflowers-
Truly, I have been blessed
by your light.

Like the sunset,
you slip away,
oh so beautiful,
but dark is this world
once you are gone.

I do not
feel loved,
never have and I
would not know what to do
anyway.

Sometimes,
we all feel a little lost-
lost in a void-
a prisoner of silence.
So come lay with me
here in the darkness,
in silence.
Perhaps we can bring
a little light to
each other's world.

The torture doctor
put me under
with her smile
and charm.
She cut my heart
until the love poured out
and just like that,
she had concluded
her operation.

If you do not want
to be happy with me then
it is not true love

5:01 PM
3/3/20

Who is a poet,
without their pen?
Our existence is on the page-
it is the stories in our head
and the words in our heart.

We can see the galaxies
beyond the Milky Way
the way we can see the pain
beyond our smiles.

Oh, how big you have grown,
how smart you are getting and
how creative you have become!
I could not be more proud and
these are just few of the reasons
I miss you more
with each passing day!

Solitude is not my enemy,
Solitude is more of a pet.
I call it over in times of need-
it comes to me, sits by my side
and makes for good company.
Sometimes solitude will bite
to remind me of just how lonely
the solitary life can be.
But thanks to solitude,
I see life for what it is.

Won't you be my muse
at least for the night?
I promise to write you-
immortalize you onto the page.
Let your passion inspire me
until our next night,
and then the next.
Let this cycle of passion
never end.

If you truly want
what's best for your heart,
then loving me is not the path
you should venture down.
I am but a dead end
waiting for you at
the end of
the road.

I will tell myself
that I am over you,
and I believe it most of the time,
but then I wonder what would happen
if I saw you again.
Would I make the same mistake
and fall into your trap again?
Would I be able to ignore
your siren song if you
were to call my name?

Letting go is hard-
letting go is necessary.
It can lead to freedom but
it does not come without pain-
a small price to pay
for this peace of mind.
I am free today because I let go
and I make no regrets.

The truth is I can't
be away from you for long-
I miss your smile

6:55 PM
19/12/21

You're a sunflower
and I long to get lost in
your beautiful scent

6:33 PM
5/8/22

There is a
black hole where
this heart once stood.
Even this power house
exhausts all of its love and spirit
over time
only to collapse
under the weight of
the world.

How many poems
have you written that no one
has a chance to read?

6:50 PM
7/11/20

There is no place I can go
that you will not follow
and no thought
that you can escape.
There are no days
that I forget you
for each second is spent
longing for you.

All memories
leave a mark.
They can manifest
from scratches to scars
or the most
beautiful tattoos.

I feel better when
the memories of you and
I come flooding back

12:58 PM
3/4/22

Grandma lied about
girls being all over me
once I got older

3:25 PM
20/2/21

She wore a sunflower dress
and showered him in love and light.
She wanted to warm him
as much as her dress
warmed her.

It is okay to leave,
but if and when you do,
don't forget to cherish the good
and abandon the bad.

Every step you take,
every soul you cross,
each one leading you down
a different path with the
potential to change
your life forever.

Darkness calls me
at midnight and takes pity
on this lonely soul.
The night turns cold and
the shadows return after
another busy day of
distracting myself in light,
out of their reach
if only for
a little while.

Dear diary;
I moved house today
but I'm afraid my demons
followed me to the door.
Tonight,
the twilight seeps through the window,
the highway never sleeps and
the demons make their bed.
I am wide awake
again.

Sometimes
two souls find each other
through the crowds and chaos
and a magic blooms:
Two hearts
become one.

The night has a way
of stirring the mind and memory.
Silence and shadow dance
to the rhythm of nostalgia
and everyone who held and broke this heart
flash before my my eyes.
Which of them will I take as my muse tonight
as I put pen to paper?
Shall it be the one who hurt me,
the one I loved or the one I thought
I forgot about so very long ago.

Our story may have
been painful but it was my
favourite one to read

8:49 PM
16/9/23

There is a sunflower
in the centre of my heart
and it blossoms
in your love.

Dear diary;
I am growing tired of this mind,
tired of overthinking, of the endless cycle.
"When will this day end? This week, this month, this year?"
I grow tired of society and their norms and expectations.
I want to enjoy life again, to be free, not just endure,
to go through the motions again and again.
I try to savor the good times like a rose,
to smell it, and see it in all its beauty,
until it withers away.
Indeed, I am tired of this winter,
and all the dreariness it brings.
I want to live.

Isn't it ironic how
heartbreak can make you
push people away when all
you want is love.

One day
we will meet again.
Our time in this life
was far too short and
it has left me with a broken heart,
a piece of me now missing forever.
I am now left to grieve
for the fact that I cannot watch you
grow into the person you supposed to be,
or that I will never see nor hold you again.
Nothing can prepare us for that kind of grief,
the kind that comes so suddenly
and is out of our control.
The only thing that keeps me going
is the hope that one day we
will meet again, not today,
maybe not tomorrow,
but our time will come
again.

You came to this world
desperate for answers but
instead you found me

7:40 PM
8/7/21

I carry you with me
wherever I go
between heart and soul,
in the extraordinary and
the ordinary moments in life.
I keep you in these eyes
that dream of a future
of you and I,
in my lips
that tell the tale of this hardship,
in my hands
that write of our wonderland,
in the mind
that never left you behind.

Relationships and solitude:
they are just two sides of the same coin.  
I aim to flip the coin and find
the balance in every outcome
and each side the
coin may fall.

Dear diary;
I'm so tired.
I am so tired of wasting energy
on those who so not reciprocate.
I am so tired of proving a point
to those who do not listen.
I am so tired of forgiving the same person
over and over again.
I am so tired of putting on a happy face
when that is not the case.
I am so tired of staying silent
for my mental health.
I am so tired.

Usually I say
that I am tired when I
usually mean sad

11:35 PM
20/3/22

You grew like a
sunflower in summer
and filled my soul with warmth.
You plucked the thorns from my heart
and planted gardens instead with
love blossoming from
every petal.

Dear diary;
there were no heroes to be found
in this story I call my life-
maybe I was the villain all along.
Will a hero give this plot a meaning?
Will a hero redeem this sinful soul?
Vain and vile,
I am the villain.
Pride and pain,
I am the villain.

I'm not strong enough
to not give my love to those
who don't deserve it

10:14 AM
16/5/21

A moment together and
a thousand moments apart.
I am forever chasing
your shadow and the
night will soon be upon us.
What does distance know
of heartbreak?

I do not
want this silence
to be the death of us.
I want to find a way back
to your laughter and song.

For as long as I have known you,
I have wondered how such a tiny girl
can hold so much love.
Indeed, you may be small but
you have the biggest heart
I have ever seen.
How can so much love and beauty
fit inside the small being
that is you?