After so much pain
under the chill of the winter moon,
a kiss from the sun herself
is enough to get me
through one more
year.

I don't know you anymore
and that is both beautiful
and terrifying at
the same time.

Why is it so hard
to let go of those who
hurt us the most?
Is it because they were once
the source of happiness
and everything nice?
Are we still clinging onto the hopes
that it will go back to
the way it was?

Bound
by words
I cannot speak.
Caged
by thoughts
that leave me weak.

You are a miracle!
Do you know how wonderful you are?
I celebrate it every day.
So always be yourself-
the miracle that you are.
Bless every second,
every heart, every day
with the miracle
that is you!

Lust leaves
a bitter aftertaste-
yet the thirst for it
never wanes.

You have proved me right-
nothing lasts forever and
you broke that promise

3:55 PM
25/6/22

Hope is killing me
yet hope is the only thing
keeping me alive

7:20 PM
10/12/22

How easily it was
for you to leave.
How simple it was
for you to turn off the switch
and move on with
your life.

Do not trust those
who do not converse with
their demons once in a while,
let alone, those who ignore
or deny their existence.

Ah, I don't care anymore
if you still see me pouring my heart
onto the page in your name.
What more can you take from me?
I keep on writing your name
knowing that each letter
is a papercut unto this soul.

Stay in the sadness
until you are comfortable
to put it away

1:52 PM
16/12/23

I wanted you
to be right for me
more than anything
else I could want.
We could have forced it,
maybe,
but it wasn't right.
To this day,
I still think about
what could have been but
I always remind myself that
we would have only
been delaying the
inevitable.

There are a lot of
ways to stop the pain but the
scars always remain

1:47 PM
3/8/21

My heart is so full of you.
Your love brightens it,
turning this heart into a garden
of endless beauty.
One smile from you is enough
to bloom a thousand sunflowers.

What if everything
was as scary as my mind
made it out to be?

10:56 PM
4/7/24

I wonder if I
still haunt you like you haunt me-
a living nightmare

10:06 AM
5/2/22

Two souls sprouting
like two sunflowers
beneath the sentimental sun.
There are no shadows,
just light and love
and you and I.

You left a hole in
my heart that I will never
dare to fill again

8:05 PM
31/5/22

We know nothing.
The only difference is that
some of us know we
know nothing.

The sun goes down
and I take comfort in the night.
I wait for the moon to return,
and with him, the shadows,
silence and solitude.
It is at night where
I can forget about reality and
the bustle of everyday life.
It is at night where I can breathe,
to take inspiration from the darkness
and let the mind run free.

There are still stars
in the sky where you sed to twinkle.
Sometimes I am lucky to witness
a shooting star when we talk
but that is fleeting in an
otherwise dead sky.

It was upon the
Romanian Mountains
where I watched you fall
out of love.
Who knew that
such sorrow could occur
up in the clouds?

I'm famished,
I'm tired,
I asked for a glass of water
but left with my heart of my sleeve.
You came back for breakfast
but I came back for
one last goodbye.

What was once a mighty continent.
Like the land we shared,
this heart was torn in half.
Now we are but two islands
drifting further away
upon the solitary sea.

You may not be here anymore,
but were you ever really here?
You did a great job acting
that I truly believed you cared,
at least for a while, and worse,
that you actually loved me.

Dear Diary;
I feel tired-
sleep just ain't
cutting it anymore.
I've felt this way for
the last ten years-
at least.
I wonder
if anyone else
feel this way too.

When I think about the adventures,
the laughs, the meals, the memories,
the highs and even the lows,
I am always left with a smile
and heart full of JOY.
No matter the season,
no matter the country,
I will be your friend,
partner and lover in every
adventure, hardship and celebration
we shall face together.
Your life and your soul
is a spark of inspiration and
your smile sets my heart ablaze.
If you continue to warm me,
I will continue by your side
whether it be at home or
a land so far away-
I will continue to support you
and spoil you in every
way that I can.

I have been speechless
since I kissed your lips.
For it is in your mouth
I left my voice,
my reason,
my soul.

My mind,
the largest metropolis I know.
Thoughts of you roam the streets-
our memories are set in concrete.
This city never sleeps,
but with you as
its population,
it knows peace.

I have never been
anyone's favorite person-
wouldn't that be nice?

12:00 AM
25/6/22

What better feeling
than to look at someone
who once broke your heart and
feeling nothing at all.

I am not okay
but I am better than who
I used to be then

11:36 PM
22/2/22

Dear diary;
my heart
met my soulmate
in the space between
slumber and waking.

"Why do I feel you letting go of me?"
I think to myself, a thought I have far too often.
And I wonder,
do you feel it too?

My soul's melody
can still be played but
it is missing your voice.
It is still pleasant to listen to
but without your harmony,
I will forever sing alone.

Dear S,
I thought I
could keep this up.
Maybe I could for a while,
but not anymore-
it hurts too much.
I didn't know it would
be so difficult and I didn't
know you would turn away.
You were supposed to be here.
You were family.
I'm lost.

Your birth is a
love letter to my soul.
Whether you are near or far,
your existence will forever
adorn this heart.

How does it feel to
know that you're the only one
standing in your way?

3:04 PM
7/4/21

Dear diary;
I hate to admit that
I am still dependent on
feelings I promised myself I
would no longer feel and
now I punish myself
for it.

It was nice
To have the idea
that I had met the living embodiment
of all my dreams and fantasies.
It was doomed from the start
because that's what it was, a fantasy.
Still, I do not regret dreaming-
giving in to what was probably a
delusion more than a dream
because to this day,
you are still the closest thing
to what I could dream of.

Sometimes the only
logical thing to do is
forget and move on

4:06 PM
4/12/23

Why is it that I
find beauty in everything
except for myself?

11:59 PM
31/1/23

It has taken me too long
to realize that you aren't coming back.
At first I thought you would eventually
miss me like I miss you-
that you would constantly check your phone
as I check mine,
but it was never you.
I spent all this time waiting for you,
trying to remember the memories,
the way you made me feel,
while you spent all this time
falling in love with
someone else.
It pained me see the two of you,
perhaps it always will,
but at least I know now that
you are not coming back.
Indeed, you had not thought about me
that way I still thought about you
but rather, it was as you never loved me at all,
as if I had never existed.
It's time to begin the process
of letting go.

Are you tired from
how much you have done
or are you tired from
the weight of
the world?

Sometimes missing you
is like a soft and sweet bird song-
other times, a shriek of a harpy.

My silence is
every word, every scream
I have had to swallow.

Loving someone from
afar is as heartbreaking
as it's fulfilling

4:27 PM
14/9/21

Last haiku of an
arduous year and I will
go out with a bang

12:53 PM
22/12/21

If I loved it was you,
If I dreamed it was of you,
If I felt it was for you.