Humanity hurt each other-
they would hurt me.
Despite my cynicism,
I adored them,
I helped them.
But the hurt continued...
I don’t do that anymore.

No matter how many  
obstacles life throws at me,
I will always love you,
and will fight such obstacles
to hold on to and cherish
the miracle that is you.

I do not need death
to enter heaven,
to be by your side is
enough to make me feel
like I'm with an angel.

So many places to travel,
wisdom to obtain, music to hear
books to read, poems to write,
people to meet, food to eat,
all in this one life to live.
One life is not enough.

Call me in the early
hours of the morning
and maybe,
just maybe,
my heart will
find another place
for you.

To the bride and groom;
may your love be eternal
as the moon itself.  

11:26 PM
20/11/22

Does heartbreak
keep track of time?
Years have passed and yet
the cracks will not subside.
Time has a way of morphing
heartbreak and grief
into a loneliness-
a shadow that
follows me around.
At least now I know
that the answer
is yes.

My heart is so full of you.
Your love brightens it,
turning this heart into a garden
of endless beauty.
One smile from you is enough
to bloom a thousand sunflowers.

I will always find
reasons to love you
and that will be
the death of me

Are you tired from
how much you have done
or are you tired from
the weight of
the world?

There is nothing
to fear from silence.
Silence can be a
beautiful thing so learn
to embrace it.

I don't know you anymore
and that is both beautiful
and terrifying at
the same time.

Dear diary;
Today was
a good day to die.
But worry not,
ready or not,
I'm going to
live young
and die fast.

I know you
like the sun knows
the sunflowers.
Your love blossoms in this heart
and I nurture it as if it were
the last seed on Earth.

I am so tired
of this sickness and I hope
that it too shall pass

2:21 AM
4/4/21

Night has come,
and with it, the shadows
and the sorrowful moon.
I lie in bed and it's a little too silent.
I close my eyes, waiting for sleep,
but it always never comes.
You come to me in darkness
and I am reminded of a warmer time
so very far from where I ended up.
You are not here and neither am I,
at least the I that you remind me of
so very long ago, so very far from alone,
or maybe I always have been.

We may not have been
each other's favorite chapter,
but I hope you can still smile when
you turn back the page to
where we began.

The night has a way
of stirring the mind and memory.
Silence and shadow dance
to the rhythm of nostalgia
and everyone who held and broke this heart
flash before my my eyes.
Which of them will I take as my muse tonight
as I put pen to paper?
Shall it be the one who hurt me,
the one I loved or the one I thought
I forgot about so very long ago.

There is nothing I can say
to make you want to stay.
Nor will staring at our photographs
or replaying our shared laughs.
Nor will reading your horoscopes
or your old envelopes.
All I can do is to move on
and hope that you are gone.

We fall
for the ones
who ignore us and
we ignore
the ones
who fall for us.
Such is the irony of life.

I lost count
of how many times
you said "forever".
How many promises
of forever have I heard?
I think I have lost count.
Promises break faster than a
glass heart and I'm tired of
picking up the pieces.

When I think about the adventures,
the laughs, the meals, the memories,
the highs and even the lows,
I am always left with a smile
and heart full of JOY.
No matter the season,
no matter the country,
I will be your friend,
partner and lover in every
adventure, hardship and celebration
we shall face together.
Your life and your soul
is a spark of inspiration and
your smile sets my heart ablaze.
If you continue to warm me,
I will continue by your side
whether it be at home or
a land so far away-
I will continue to support you
and spoil you in every
way that I can.

All of this distance
and silence will never stop
me from loving you  

7:10 PM
1/4/23

I am not okay
but I am better than who
I used to be then

11:36 PM
22/2/22

I wonder if I
still haunt you like you haunt me-
a living nightmare

10:06 AM
5/2/22

I will bloom from the
implosion of you and I-
from ashes, I grow

11:08 PM
26/1/21

When the demons
get too loud,
all you can do is
write to them or
let them **** you.

The discards of a
book wrote together but
never chose to read

4:03 PM
26/7/22

Oh, how big you have grown,
how smart you are getting and
how creative you have become!
I could not be more proud and
these are just few of the reasons
I miss you more
with each passing day!

You do not know what
to do with me but that is
okay, no one does

5:58 PM
23/9/22

So what is left
of a broken soul?  
Just the empty shell of a man
who barely knows what
it means to exist.

Dear diary;
it has taken me
far too long to realize that
my biggest obstacle in life
is me, always has been,
and that hurts more than anyone ever could.
Wherever I go, whatever I do,
my shadow will follow me around-
a subtle reminder of my
mistakes, regrets and reminders
of who I used to be.
Yes, I now realize that no one
is as guilty as me when
it comes to me.

All the heartbroken,
the lonely and the dreamers
all hear the same song in these
early hours of the morning.
We are solitary
yet the night sings us
to sleep or something
more sinister.

I am the god, I am the sea
protector of humanity
atom bombs and all the kaiju
they’re no match, you know that it’s true

I am the king, I am the beast
rage and wrath have now been unleashed  
I am the wonder of this world
there’s not a thing I couldn’t hurl

How does it feel to
know that you're the only one
standing in your way?

3:04 PM
7/4/21

I am yours,
forever,
never forget that.
We are blood, we are one,
and my heart will keep that promise.
And this distance is but a mirage,
a temporary illusion that
dissolves in our memories together.  
This heart still beats for you,
uninterruptedly
and always,
my sun,
never forget that.

Your love painted
a masterpiece upon
this broken canvas
of a man.

Has anyone flown
up to the stars to make sure
they were not replaced?

7:16 AM
2/11/23

Maybe I will never understand
how you took control this heart.
Was it sorcery or something sinister?
No, I suspect it had something to do with
the sweetness of your soul or
your beauty that leave
even the nymphs
in awe.

You have proved me right-
nothing lasts forever and
you broke that promise

3:55 PM
25/6/22

To dream you is to
still believe that one day you
will come back to me

4:12 PM
10/2/23

I wish you
were still here
so that I could wrap
my arms around you
so that you can feel
all of this love
I have for you
but cannot say.

My own mind must be
the biggest thief that I have
ever known

Dear diary;
The sorrow comes in waves
and today I am
the sea.

I only had to
gaze upon one of
your stars to fall
in love with
your universe.

I have laid in your
bed of sunflowers and
I have taken one home.
I keep it upon my bedside table
so that I will never forget you
and your warmth and joy you bring.
This is how I continue to adore you and
how you continue to
brighten my world.

If you truly want
what's best for your heart,
then loving me is not the path
you should venture down.
I am but a dead end
waiting for you at
the end of
the road.

I am so submerged in solitude
that I longer feel the need to resurface.
I have found a home at the bottom,
in desolation and darkness.
I do not need those above,
nor do I want to belong to a
sun that scorched me so
very long ago.

Have you fallen in
love with a dream that you could
never make come true?

9:06 PM
17/8/23

We all get a little
overwhelmed sometimes
but the memories of you and I
sustain me the most.
I submerge myself in the thought of you,
that sublime smile and
the sunflower that is your heart
and I feel better again.
Just knowing you exist,
the miracle that you are,
is more than I could ever ask for.