There's so much to say
so much to do
so much to feel
no wonder in some way
it won't be conveyed
nor fathomed
for somebody new

Lay back

ponder things

as times consumes

sentimentally speak through your mind

and let  your chaotic soul

dealt it with complexity

i asked her, does it look the same?
she gave me that funny look she gets
whenever i say or do something a little dim
it's a mirror image for a reason she said

in the mirror i see muscles, and strength
hips a little too wide and fleshy
but still muscular,
strength all the way down

but when i reflect on myself,
no mirror necessary
it is never the same

i don't feel as strong as i could
don't look as sharp and sturdy as i could
those fleshy sides, too soft
for a battle-hardened brain
and turbulent thoughts

i need angles, i need straight lines
but there's nothing straight about me
and that's half the problem

and the other half
is that i hate the softness that lingers
but everybody else loves it
and i don't want to be warm and
able to be cuddled

i want hard edges
and nimble, spindly fingers;
when i play my chords
i want my bones to tap the strings

and when sadness sheathes itself within me
i want eyes as dry
as my eczema-bitten hands

He is an epitome of my longing happiness and later, we'll never see each other again.
My pumping beat still want to reach for him however, my mind backs off.
How can I let this go?
How can I let this flow?
One million reasons to answer - either is it a positive or a negative..
Longing for his voice one more time,
could be my take-away gift for a moment.
And still hoping to love you more.