He watched me slay in my black-cropped top,
I wasn’t wearing any underwear,
I bended over, getting my glass of beer on the coffee table.
Man, I wish I could re-live that night.

There was no room for me in the couch.
He offered his seat but I sat on his lap,
And buried my face in his neck.
He asked me what’s wrong, his breath smelled like cigarettes.

He walked me to my unit
He grabbed my hand on 23rd street,
Looked me in the eye and told me how
My existence in his life is worth more than anyone.

Sure, her eyes are blue as the sea,
But my eyes are grey as storm clouds.
Her's will remind you of constant peace,
Mine will remind you of chaos and the unknown.
She'll go down in your scrap book,
Where as I'll go down in your history.
She'll be your memory,
I'll be your tragedy.

Aah! it was you  who did not discover:
Still love for you I have  like a lover.

I kept on peering you  like i always peered
And continued to do so till u disappeared.
But you did not turn around to see me
Just like the one who leaves
And i kept on believing , that you'll see,
Like the one who believes

Sixth grade was the first time I remember feeling out of place in my own body. I tried on a shirt from the year before and realized I wasn't the same size anymore. I felt strange for a moment, then brushed it off. I threw away the shirt the next day. By the end of middle school I knew I was bigger than my friends, but I tried to avoid thinking about it. I just wanted to fit in like the rest of them.

Freshman year I got called fat and decided to make myself invisible. Treated every food as if it an allergy. Lost 30 pounds in 60 days. Told my parents I already ate. Told my friends I was eliminating junk food. Told no one my secret for years.

Gained my weight back then lost it just as quickly. The never ending cycle of starving, binging, purging.
Starving, binging, purging.
Starving, binging, purging.
Nobody notices when I fall off track because disordered eating is only cared about when the victim is skinny enough that you can see the evidence. I have been terrified for four years to speak out for fear nobody would believe me when I told them.
No one expects a bigger girl to not know how to feed herself.
There is something to say about a culture so warped that I get upset by the fact I don't have a stereotypical eating disorder body.

Sometimes I wish it was more obvious, so at least that way they could see how hard I'm trying to be perfect... To fit in.
America, am I not sick enough for you already?

True love serves as a buffer to this world of hate.
When they despise us, Lord, give us the Grace to Love them more.
When they throw stones at us, give us the Strength to Love them more.
Even at the point of death give us the Courage to Love them more.
There sums up the power of Love, the Jesus type of Love.
The type of Love that just won't give up.

There’s a girl
I wonder what she thinks about
I think she thinks about me sometimes
How incredible to think
That I could occupy some small corner
Of a vast consciousness so different from my own
How elusive and carefree she is
I’m somewhere in there
Tucked away

Simoom*, desert wind
from ravaged realms
through spacious skies
bear every sacred grain
to enduring fields
where amber waves
root in the fruited plain
sweet mercy nourish
shed its grace on thee
reveal our good
through brotherhood
from wasteland
to the sea.

Exploring the catacombs of the others minds
We were so busy that we forgot to not fall in love
So now I know your soul better than I could ever know my own
As you say that this is just harmless fun
Even you don’t believe that now.

It is irrelevant how much we deny it
We’ve spent so long in hiding
But under the light of the moon and the sun
You looked at me in as I have never been looked at before
Almost as if you were examining my very soul
That is why I believe them when they say
There are different way to say I love you than through words.

shadows collapse
     at dusk
silent lightening,
     an unknown storm

her heart a bitter white moon,
     and unseen spirit
crows murmur in darkness,
     leaving tell-tale secrets

she shivers
     at midnight
I watch from the cemetery,
     spirits lost in night,
yearning to cup
     her aching bones