Numbing pain with remedies unwise
Trying to forget
the past of lies

Going through day to day life
Such a battle,
so much strife.

Climbing out of bed
whispering
"you can do it, you're not dead"

Wanting with super might
to yell and cry
managing to mumble and sigh.

Resigned to the way
life seems to be:
Struggling; a vessel of empty

But each step taken
even with the ache'n
Is another foot forward
In the direction of hope; toward.

Each day gets better
don't stumble now
lighter as a feather.

I wonder if going all in is a decision
you think about
plan about
dream about

But I know it's not
when you're consistently
cash broke
out of luck
or out of time

You keep saying you'll get a big break
but I wonder if you would ever
apply yourself
save yourself
plan for yourself

Simply put;
You cannot keep running into things headfirst
and then complain
that your head
hurts.

Inhaling smoke into tarry lungs
Exhaling poison.
Drinking alcohol to numb the agony
Setting fire to a scarred esophagus.
Selfish to a fault
Its always about the big ME.
Doing favors and expecting
to get something out of it.
Ignoring the small and weak.

I've seen the worst of humanity.
I looked in the mirror and it reflected back to me.

Breaking into pieces and trying to super glue the parts together
Being twisted and damaged and acidic corrosion
Getting a welder's mask and tools
To melt the pieces together
And nothing is the same, forever.

Smiling gently
snow is falling
heart is breaking
for Christmases of old.
Times are changing
World is older
souls are merging.
Warm fires
bright eyes.
Warm fires,
bright eyes.
Couples dancing
families gather
the lonely watch.

I was settled for in my relationship and he loves me, he loves me.
I can't shake the feeling that I'm second best, and he loves me, he loves me.
He looks at me but I'm not the prettiest, but he loves me, he loves me.
I know in my heart that he loves me, he loves me.
But I'll always know deep in my soul, I was settled for.

I miss the way I could laugh carefree.
The way smiles used to light up my face.
But when I glance at him,
I see he struggles to do the same
and occasionally we will laugh together
and our smiles make the room seem brighter
and for a moment we're weightless.

And in those moments
my hearts swells to capacity
with love for this man
who can make me feel like I used to
by just looking into my eyes.

We see the depths of each other's souls
and find that we are equal
and always have been,
in this life and the next.