It's snowing,
Yiska says.
She's looking out
the window
of the locked ward.
I stand
just behind her,
peering over
her shoulder,
watching the large
flakes fall
in a steady flow.
Trees opposite
are becoming covered;
they look like brides
about to get married.
The fields beyond
are white, not green.
Picturesque from in here,
I say.
She runs a finger
down the pane,
a slim finger,
white/pink skin,
the nail chewed.
What was it like
on the day
you were to marry?
I ask.
Bright, sunny,
almost cloudless.
Bet you were glad
it didn't snow.
She looks back at me.
I wouldn't have cared less
if he had turned up
and not left me there
dressed up
like a doll abandoned.
I guess not,
sorry to
have reminded you.
She sighs,
looks back
at the snow.
Not your fault
he didn't show.
I shouldn't have
reminded you.
It's always there,
anyway,
like some dark
black nightmare.
We watch
the falling snow
in a few moments
of silence.
I can smell soap
about her,
maybe shampoo;
it invades my nose.
I close my eyes.
Sense her
just before me,
as if my senses
had fingers,
but not my fingers,
but invisible fingers
reaching out to her.
Don't think
I can trust
another man
to get me
down the aisle.
I open my eyes,
see her hair,
long,
unbrushed.
I would not
have jilted you.
It wasn't you
I was going to marry.
No, I guess not.
The snow falls harder;
I can hardly see
the trees now.
She looks back at me.
Want a cigarette?
she asks.
I nod.
She takes a packet
out of her
dressing gown pocket
and takes one
for herself
and gives one
to me.
She lights them
with a yellow
plastic lighter.
How'd you managed
to keep the lighter;
thought they took
such things away
in case you try
and set yourself alight?
I liberated it
out of the staffroom
the other night.
We stand and smoke
and watch
the heavy fall
of snow.
Behind us,
others enter the room,
their voices talking
of the snow,
how heavy it is.
We can sense
their coming near us
like invading armies
on virgins lands,
unaware
we're holding hands.
TWO PATIENTS IN A LOCKED WARD IN 1971 AND THE FALLING SNOW.