which man has saved us from a dystopian future;
where each one of us must decide between good
and evil without fear of punishment from the camera
lens or laws that have become as onerous upon our
lives as a world without any law at all; which man
would be genius enough to survive his own evil

no matter the height of our intellectual achievements,
it is the emotional strain of one life in one world that
cannot care no matter how much we pray beyond
gravity’s last remaining outposts that lays waste to
souls that beg to be equal among beings made in an
image that has not been defined but merely assumed

when tears are no longer welcome as before and
when anger serves the strong well, then will the
light know to assume it’s place in the darkness which
hides from the absence of the knowing, undefined
by Gods or beasts that live in the depths choking
on sinks of man’s glorious quest for immortality

if one man knows of the legend if not each jot of
the law then would the spirit hover above his heart;
must he decide between living as a depraved knave
or martyred by unrecorded history, unfathomed
by meaning or the depths that have no end except
his will to suffer for what he once knew to be true?

You don’t know them
If you want to give
Do it only in God’s sight

Reliance
Confidence
Honesty
Look within
And above
Walk straight
Know truth

A stepping stone for your feet
The foundation
But not the beauty
How did they become this way

Water
Earth
And sky

******* every side
And within
But the water runs freely
They stand still
Letting you pass by
Rocks are the family
Water is the life
Our dreams pass through their life
They see what we have
And our unhappiness

The stone wears what you refuse
And becomes what you ignore
You want them on one side
Or the other
But they do not take sides

There is no side but life

They believe in miracles
But they do not wait
The unforgiving earth is the last rite
They showed us their wounds
A scar is surrounded by life
An island of strength
A reminder of survival
A life inside of death
Reality for them
A source of goodness for you

Do not weep for them
And then wash yourself away
Leaving rocks misshapen
Forgotten
At the bottom of the lake

The Intellectual
The Emotional
The Spiritual
The braided mind
This is how we live
Upon a three-legged table
So seemingly fragile
Is it any wonder we are so unstable?
Cold hard logic
Stripped of all feeling
Always the scientific
Is it the only thing worth believing?
A pure heart
Always crying
Life is too much
Why is everyone dying?
Inside the spirit moves
A mysterious craving
What is the truth?
Are we worth saving?
Each needs the other
Emotional control
Intellectual feeling
A spiritual whole
A blend of humanity
Eternal bleakness
Seeing but not knowing
Suffering in darkness
The shadow upon us feels no pain
Eclipsing what once was light
A random image that devours
Removing colors from our sight
A purely selfish being
Uncaring in its oblivion
Empathy does not exist
Only self-preservation
How can we live as mortals?
Enslaved by our limitations
We turn from the answer
And indulge our passions
Stripped apart the braid will die
Together they come alive
The community feels the pulse
The individual will not survive
The braid
The island
Mankind
Have we been pardoned?
We cannot live alone
God, Me, You
The braid
Open your heart
Do not be afraid...

I turned to my soul and made it my God. I wanted to know who I was and found nothing but despair until I realized you cannot live on a bridge; you must continue on....

Sometimes nature turns on itself
Lightening in a forest
Termites in a tree
Lions feasting on the weak

Sometimes the bullet comes from within

I feel like I’m walking in tall grass
With a gun in my hand
A helmet
My training
But there is nothing to trust
Each step could be the last
The beauty of life only comforts itself
For it does not worry about tomorrow
But as I walk inside its splendor
I know that it will outlive my  life

And so
Tears without an ocean
Pain without a baby
Pride without purpose

Suffering alone
My choice
For it is mine
Salvation is mine
Or is it?

I once smiled easily
Too easily

Grace without tribulation
Repentance with a burning heart
Was that me?

And now
I see the bullets
Piercing my skin
Too slow to ****
Too fast to avoid

There is still time
But not for works
For I have become the mission
I will come to know man’s morality
I will come to know man’s mercy
I will come to know man’s grace
I will come to know my place in their hearts

There is nothing like the spray of water from the bow of a boat

I remember that now
Like a picture in a small locket
A moment of love
Nature
A woman
But nothing is promised forever
Except what we believe

For as a father can hate
So too can a child

But what is it that I believe

Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness

Yes

That is what I believe
For it is time
Time to believe
This is my chance
I now that now

You are only a child
Yet you have so much power
My son's future is being affected
His esteem shrinks hour by hour
I sit quietly wondering
Why a kind boy must suffer
He endures all your taunts
Along with his helpless father
We wait for a new day
When only his character will be judged
But will his physical stature
Give birth to a life-long grudge?
I pray for relief
In my son's mind
He does not deserve this
Yet life can be so unkind
Why must he avert his eyes
And shrink from view
Because he is not Atlas
And their scorn he cannot subdue
My son I love you so
I know the pain you hide
It is within me too
Together we make the painful ride
One day we will emerge
No longer heeding their taunts
They will vanish into our history
But what will be your response?
Take leave of the need to prove
And the obsession with their words
You will emerge the victor
And your fruit will adorn the orchards
Of a world that is understanding
That knows of your gifts
Take my hand my son
Let us forget these rifts
I will tell you who you are
I will place your worth before all
You will not be defeated
Because one day you will stand tall

The butterfly and the swan, our
most blessed creatures; for in
natural painful transformation of
crawler to beautiful freedom, of
ugly homeliness to majestic beauty;
what is natural becomes possible and
what is possible becomes hopeful

Upon stormy waters he walked;
but only still waters draw us near
with melancholy determination;
hearing that voice within, but
does it direct you to throw stones
for ripples that soothe or to break
apart the reflective image of what
you cannot understand?

We are anesthetized; for reality
is no basis for happiness and
delusion fuels pretension to be
what we are not; and so we applaud,
loudly, for strangers who wear our
colors; because what they do is
our greatness; but do we cheer
for them or ourselves?

To those who sacrifice, it is a
constant; to those who do not,
it is a moment; but we live with
our fears no matter who dies
for them; fear because of our
children; fear because of war;
fear because of pride; fear
because of ignorance

What was once a child’s kingdom,
narcissism versus intellect, is how
adults now separate themselves;
the victory of a beautiful face over
character is complete; mannequins
who cannot speak enable those
without conscience to ignore the
consciousness of their soul

Silent love, quiet discomfort,
one human becoming God, for
their blessing is salvation on earth;
but blessings are relative; relative
to where we were born and who
loved us as children; we begin without
the knowing of favor; what we learn
of ourselves is where we begin again

Art is not competition but expression
reveals life; revelation of consciousness;
our heroes must only make us feel; we
ignore their flaws but does that prove
we are forgiving or only want vicarious
pleasure no matter the cost or the
rationalization of the conditions of victory?

The fisher of men’s souls spoke to all
men; for it was written from a mount; but
what do we embrace? War or peace?
Riches or charity? Arrogance or humility?
When ripples reach the far shore what is left
is the question that wet living glass asks
about what we see and what we believe;
because calm reflection is the only storm
we can survive

You ran
When it was your turn
Hiding
While the poor did burn
Now you ruin
The lives of others
Ignoring the cries
Of tearful mothers
With shameful assurance
In your own power
You now stand tall
Pretending you did not cower
Allowing others
To walk and die
In your place
So you could lie
About your past
And how you believed
In a just cause
While your kind deceived
The sheep
Herding us along
You pretended to be strong
But in fact you were wrong
And now seasoned
With a flag
And a god
You brag
Of America
And it’s greatness
Yet you destroyed
The moral compass
In your desire
To ****
And for what?
To achieve God’s will?
The same God
Who said
“Blessed are the peacemakers?”
As he led
The meek
And the poor
As they seek
Deliverance
From the likes of you
Who can only steal
From the hearts of the few
Who continue to believe
In a world of green meadows
Sparkling oceans
And the love they conceive
As their children
Look to them for guidance
In a world
Where avoidance
Of conflict
Is rewarded
With the power
To ignore the exploited
And to line the pockets
Of those who said no
To service
But now say go
To those who have no option
But to fight and die
For the chosen few
Who will not tell us why
They can live with impunity
Never answering the question
Of how God’s grace is given
To Satan’s confession

The light we seek has no shadow
Yet we close our eyes to find ourselves in darkness
We can only dream in the ways of our existence
In this life even transcendence must share the night
You must find the heart of everything
It exists inside a chestnut cabinet
Because it once existed in a tree
Changing form is not death
But change is only when you are ready to die
To be born to another life within the life you live
There is no desire that cannot be challenged
For what is desire but the pursuit of pleasure
Mastering yourself means rejecting yourself
And then the battle must begin
Against who you are
Against who you are to become
Because you do not know what you will become
You only know it is time
The coffin has not been lost
It has only been moved
For where you must lay is not where you will die
But inside were the emotions of those you once hurt
The inconvenience of their desires lie together
And now the coffin lives above ground
Waiting for you to open it
Not to climb in but to give them new life
But the question remains
Will they be close to you or on the edge
Where your fears gather in darkness?
Asking you if you are willing to walk past them
Because change is not turning your back
To cast shadows on those you once buried
But instead to walk into the light of their forgiveness

Go ahead and flip it
It doesn’t matter to me
I’ve lived on both sides
In calm waters and stormy seas

People call heads or tails
And watch their fate in the air
It could be right or wrong
It could be here or there

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
There’s no reason not to be real
I take as much as I give

People can’t make up their mind
The change how they think and look
They want the yin and the yang
It’s something they read in a book

I cross the tracks every day
With pride and without shame
No matter where I stand
I always feel the same

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
Do you think you can be real
If they show you how to forgive?

White and black living separate
One with hope the other desperate
A baby has to be taught to know its place
Why can’t we be human instead of just a race?

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
It’s time for us to be real
I wonder if you will forever misgive

The way of your brush
And not anyone else’s
Is like rain that doesn’t think
It falls like the weight of nature
Upon our life without remorse
Or need for our approval
But you act like a student
Thinking of lines that rhyme
Or shadows that compose
Colors of word and sound
Yes that is the way you started
But no longer
Don’t think that way anymore
Don’t think at all
You already know the feeling
It is a test of yourself
Like borrowing money from a friend
They know you're broke
Your word has suddenly become important
They believe in you and it’s up to you now
It may be more than you can handle
You don’t know how you can do it
It is how life explodes through your veins
You don’t think about how you are angry
You just are and it is a world without rules
Being provoked is not impressionistic
It is real without self-consciousness
Hurry, hurry; rush to show us
It will be over soon
You will begin thinking about approval again
That is the mistake of your art
You think about us
Instead
Let us think about you
We want to know how angry you are
The honesty of the rain has become you
If only you didn’t worry about the rest of your life
The risk of being a river
Or a lake
Or evaporated
That is your risk
Don’t fix it later
Don’t decide that you didn’t really feel that way
Yes you did

You
Felt
That
Way

Show me

Just do what you want to do

i thought i'd lost
my imagined way
but knowledge seeks
someone who walks its way
it is never lost
only misunderstood
the light is ahead
or is it always behind
the riddle puzzles
the answer pays no mind
instead
you take what is serious
the color in your hands
it is your life now
there is no pretense
you paint my eyes
by the end of your brush
for i will look
no matter how deep i must
the canvas
my heart
please open it
become a part of me
i want you now
the tears i saved
were for you
the man who is not afraid
to show you his weakness
or his desperation
yes
it is you
but between us
what other men also see
they do not know
it is my vision
only you knew what I wanted
as I lay still
for your imagination
trusting your hands
guided by love
for your gift
and your desire
i know it is what you want
i will look back upon you
and not at a work of art
for what you hung on the wall
was instead a mirror
and my love for you
is waiting for you to understand
what you finally created
the colors you see now
are the reflection of you

I once thought your love was the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow; it was nice to think about but I wondered who could ever find such a thing; but when it rained and I saw the colors I knew I didn't have to wonder anymore because what I did see was more than I could ever dream; it seems we always want more because mystery is allure and restlessness is what we have already seen

Broken heart colors flatten the sky
Mountains are formed in the air
A fire lights a path through the sand
No matter how beautiful your goodbye
I can no longer live just to watch you go

Everything you want is right here, but
There’s not enough of you to take it
You left too much behind
You gave everything you had
Except a tear from another time

Pieces of you once washed up on shore
I tripped over them walking in the surf
You didn’t care about being pushed away
Or if the tide claimed you back again
Only a shell hopes for a strangers touch

It’s a movie we’ve already seen
A book both of us has read
I don’t want to think like that
If only you could see what I see
A future without the past in it

It’s not that your heart is confused
It’s just that its lost its purpose
Once you loved life recklessly
Now it’s as if you’ve forgotten how
But remembering is how you breathe

On side of mountain down
or washed upon idol shore
Armed with kingly crown
and book by which they swore
No matter how long ago
they remember their dreams
because of reflective echos
from saddened streams
Some may float
while others sink
but no matter your coat
we thirst the same drink
Those who slept in the hold
covered by prayers that weep
wondered why they were sold
and who would their souls keep
I see what you see
though we are not agreed
I will forever set them free
and love no matter their seed

we started filling it up so long ago
it should have been for sailing
and watching dreams come true
but
how it began
is not how it ended
the water would never seem the same

there was too much unpleasantness
like a hard wind spoiling a sunny day
i kept wishing
for the sunsets you wanted
but
you thought I brought them with me
that’s when I lost you

a lake still needs a river
the doors were already open
the trickle at the bottom  made it so
but
when your heart started to empty
the lake fell
revealing what I already knew

bare naked trees
poking through the ripples
The way you kissed promised so much more
for some reason
i thought you meant it literally
but
it only lasted as long as you needed

i could hear bells skipping across the reflection
it was the promise
one person to another
We noticed how the wind tried to calm the rain
but
it wept uncontrollably
because of how shallow we had become

It is not courage that is easy
A hero is willing to sacrifice
Without thought or hesitation
They feel the same fear as we do
But it is not acceptable to run away

To live a certain way
Believing a storm will never end
And that they will never mend
Is to live without hope

But even if it never does end
The life we are given is not a promise
It is the life to come that we seek
And to be God’s voice
Was not your choice
But now we listen to whales speak
For the story began from within
And it is the song we hear from the deep

It is you who began playing music
that never knew what it was
until your hands began to move again
and we are amazed
for the sounds of the instrument that you play
is the measure of eternity in your soul

You have made the rain go to church
To beg forgiveness for not raining in the desert
Along with the concrete sidewalks of man
for not letting flowers grow

Are you next to me so you can safely sleep
or is it because of the things I mean to you?
I need to know it's not the morning you want
but instead your hunger is only for me too
it's so easy to lose myself in your love
can you hear the roaring sounds that say so
how can you sleep when waves crash all around
knowing rip-tides will never let your love go
as soon as you are close to me it begins
the night is where our life together becomes true
it's not walking in the light where everyone can see
instead it's the things you do that make me love you
desire will never sleep because it cannot live like that
it is only the desperate sounds of your voice that I hear
I know it's true because a whisper is quiet longing
like the silent desperate moon drawing the ocean near

All the gold in the world
And all the promises too
Nothing of this earth
Can wrap around you

It is not about tradition
Or about the ring
The distance around
Is the echo of spring

I thought about you then
I think about you now
Only forever knows why
But I don’t know how

Our eyes scattered behind us
Staring through awakening sand
What washed ashore today
Escaped from my hand

I can’t see what is far away
You can’t see what is near
But what separates us
Is deeper than a tear

Have we lost faith in the ability of our
values to withstand their own bare feet;
darkness has become a boot with so
many holes we bleed on our own streets;
we’ve become a Judas to ourselves,
betraying the things we once believed;
in jeopardy we watch the skies empty
of doves who cry about being deceived;
is it true that as life becomes hard a man
does not know the reason he should die;
his beating heart, pushing his hand away,
asks if fear ever knows the reason why;
the land that we love bears the weight of
so many who wish to walk with the free,
but are the words of our savior lost when
our earthly life is the only life we see?

They were so poor,
their children played on dusty roads;
Mother Mary
cleaned her face with her own tears,
the hand
that once touched her became a clinched fist

Ana didn’t want to bring another child into this world,
but a family
was the only way they knew how to live;
they didn't own anything
except the flowers in the window

They need
to learn more about their people;
The only way
she could feed her baby was her body;
She felt safe
until her son needed real food

She prayed
for her body to keep fighting;
fighting for her children
her ******* remained full;
He knew she was kind
but she didn’t feel that way

The dust covered her heart
and the shoes she wore;
so he bought her a dress
even to wear in the hot desert sun
It was red
and fit her like sin
between two people in love

When she wore it
the other women watched quietly
She wore it for a week;
every day without washing
He watched her quietly
knowing she was strong
Then she took the dress off
and kissed Mary’s hand

She gave the dress to her best friend,
Juanita Hernandez;
Juanita washed the dress
while Ana fed her child;
the dress would be shared
because they shared the dust in the air

Their husbands couldn't wait
for their wife’s turn with the dress;
a red dress was for love
and not sin in the desert sun

They were so poor
the dust covered their memories;
but the dress was bright
and they wore it with dignity

A poor woman
is as beautiful as a rich woman
even if her stomach is empty
and her heart has become hard

She saw the other men
look at her when it was her turn;
she knew they wanted her
even though she was so sad,
the dress made them see;
They knew how she could love them,
but instead
she gave it back to Juanita Hernandez

Then she gave thanks to Mary again;
For her children still loved her
and her husband remembered why
he gave her the dress

As I wandered
I saw a row of signs
The first one said

     Thou shalt not ****

The second one said

     Thou shalt not ****

The third one said

      Thou shalt not ****

It was not God speaking
It was my conscience
Because I know it to be true
It was endless
Each sign
Saying the same thing

     Thou shalt not ****

Yet we do
And we live with it
We live with the killing
And we hear the drums

     Of war

It is happening
And we are helpless to stop it
It will happen
In a land far away
Is this why you are not afraid?
Is it because you know you will survive?
As will your children?

     Thou shalt not ****

Yet we do
And we will
As will they

I hate what it is doing to us
The closer we get the hotter it becomes
The top of the mountain
Where freedom is promised
Continues to grow taller
While the path that leads us burns at our feet

I could drink it all away
But the path grabbed the bottle from my hand
It was my commitment
And yours too
We were friends because of the path
And now we can’t even talk about it

There is nothing left between us
They killed it with money
I love you as a brother
But the enterprise wins again
Like it always does
Because businessmen are not farmers

We felt the connection between us
The words and the music
And our fathers who were made in heaven
I can only speak to you in a dream now
Because you are as afraid as I am
We gave them our souls

Water to quench my thirst
Wine to soothe my mind
A book to consider truth
Another to consider a lie
To be assured or to doubt
That is why I drink the wine
The water is only a curse
Because it keeps me alive

I don’t need to be told
I’ve heard enough
My heart is involved
But is it what I want?
I cannot turn away
I hear howling music
Like wind when it is cold
And the nails that haunt

Bright and steady
Confusion masks itself
How could it be this way
The entrails of an answer
It tells of our failures
How can we be sure
Will we ever be ready
For joy instead of anger?

Only a child can be honest
They will soon learn otherwise
Only facts live in their eyes
But within us there is sin
We teach them that it is so
Because it is all that we know
Chastened we think of a promise
But innocence is not for men

I'm not sitting on the fence
I just want to love the world
That's all I want to be
A beautiful dreamer
That's good enough for me

I'm not sitting on the fence
I'm over here locking the gate
Can't you read jack?
The sign says no trespassing
You don't live here go on back

I'm not sitting on the fence
I knocked it down the other day
All the animals left the farm
The rooster stayed anyway
Opinions don't do him no harm

I'm not sitting on the fence
I haven't changed my mind in years
I decided I know everything
You want to argue go right ahead
I hear a bell you can't un-ring

I'm not sitting on the fence
I'm not gonna listen
I'm smarter than you
You want an insult?
Just try to tell me what's true

I'm not sitting on the fence
I know what I like
Take your time to decide
I know why you're leaning on it
The barbs are sharp on either side

You ask yourself
As if you were preparing for a play
How would you have reacted?
Mostly calm mostly calm
So you wish to say
How would they remember you?
Mostly crazy mostly crazy
So they do remember
You made things happen
But it was all an act
Honesty was their enemy
You watched as your friend became them
Was he corrupted
Or just afraid?
I do not wish to become old
But it has become my last hope
Duty all I have
Love a lone tree far inside a meadow
Each leaf a picture of expectation
My children the light carried by the breeze
Running long with discovery
Will I live long enough to feel young again
If I see it in your eyes then I will believe
Look upon the way that I live
Fill the distance laid upon the horizon
Bring the calm that I need
The love that I miss
The life that I dream
The meaning you have become

How can you smile so brightly
While life burns so unkindly
You hear music playing sweetly
While someone treats you cruelly
Inside the fire you didn’t start

How can life burden you so unfairly
While your heart loves unconditionally
All we see is the love you send freely
Who would make such a beauty
Live inside a fire she didn’t start?

I wonder if you will ever find
The feelings you once had
Your smile is all that is left
I would never know sadness
If I was always looking at you
Only you know what’s true

How can you live so calmly
Being treated so wrongly
No flower should be so lonely
Who could live their life so coldly
Feeding the fire you didn’t start?

Let me take you home
I only want to cool your mind
To believe in tomorrow
You have enough time
The way you look at me
You are so much more than sorrow

It’s not about me
You found a different shade of sky
You don’t miss the soft rain of my tears
You can’t fly on the blue side of a cloud

It’s hard to believe
Your heart has become a wandering eye
Do you believe in fate or in your fears
I can’t tell because you won’t cry out loud

I just want to know what is true
It’s the life I have to live
I tried to forgive myself
But I can’t let it go
Who I am is what I did to you

You gave somebody a chance
It was serious enough to tell me
You said there’s nobody like me
But I can’t live up to myself anymore
Being that crazy is not who I am

It’s not about you
I know what will happen when I die
You taught me well after all these years
Life goes on in a field newly plowed

I just want to know what is true
It’s the life I have to live
I tried to forgive myself
But I can’t let it go
Who I am is what I did to you

“I had to make something of myself”
He had tattoos and a shaved head
His past was more than a memory
It was a life that that almost left him for dead
As I let him stick the needle in
I felt no pain while I measured his pride
My indifference was for a moment forgotten
As I considered his leap across the great divide

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”
Mere words spoken easily on a sunny day
Should a man define himself by his possessions
Or the distance traveled to find his way?
The gates of hell were made known to me
As the pardoned ghetto rat walked my way
In his calm moment he spoke as if he had seen God
And reminded of the blessings we throw away

“Honor your mother and your father”
His child wanted to climb only one family tree
He carried the mark of brown and white
And wondered which one he should be
But there is no choice to make
It is the life of a half-breed
And the gangster nurse knew
The pain his choices would breed

“Oh so now you’re too good for us”
His future was as uncertain as his past
But in the wisdom of the violence he had vanquished
He knew it was time to stop the legacy at last
The man with the face of America’s fear
Said goodbye to the people who had his back
In his hands were the eyes looking for a father
And in his words was the courage that I lack

The genius heart
Restless in repose
Sighing as it waits
The thorn ****** the rose
As the world intrudes
It drowns in its own blood
Logic the lifeline it rejects
Preferring the rising flood
Of pain and sorrow
Never counting a blessing
Unable to satiate itself
In constant need of caressing
Will the mind rule
As it refuses to relent
Will the heart play the fool
And always give its consent?
The genius heart
In glorious suffering
Perfect form
Dignified cantering
Tomorrow’s promise
Today’s hope
The genius heart
Will forever cope
And always walk
Towards its oasis
Even in delusion
With no basis
For expectation
Yet in the waiting
Its sad life
Impatiently creating
Teary eyed
Seeing life as art
And art as life
The genius heart
Lives as it dies
In love alone
A solitary romance
Uncaring what was sown
Unwilling to listen
Ready to conceive
Living even for a moment
Will it always believe?

You have a gift
Yet it remains unopened
It is the door you think is locked
But the key is in your heart
If you will only look at a stranger
Or a friend
With eyes that see
Them
And not yourself
For once open your eyes
So too the door
And compassion begins
And so too art
For to describe a life
Suffering
Bleak
Courageous
Whether through a written word
A color
Or a sound
Simple put
Or drawn
Or felt
Not to amaze
But instead to open the door
To another life
Is to give a gift to someone else
The one you found for yourself
The one in every heart

A body has length, width, mass and occupies space
But in what relationship to time?
When did it begin and must it end?
A mere witness is required at the mark of the line

But a rock is not a baby
You could ask a scientist
But as we walk there is no need to know
For the body is there in motion and at rest

For man it is what it is
Utility, beauty, an obstacle
A nuisance
A receptacle
We perceive its properties
And what it means to us
We know it occupies space
Regardless of how gracious
Just because it is
It does not care about what
Unless it knows to survive
Or it bleeds when cut

What science
Tells me I’m cold?
What theory
Confirms I’m old?
There is a perception of what I have seen
Through my own eyes
Without reading a book
I wonder if I believe in lies

I know the absence of light can make red black
I know a rock is a rock
But the illusion is defined by a relation
For color or stone is defined by what it is not

To what end a distraction of sound unoccupying space?
A beautiful sound occupies time
And time stops for us yet we know this is not true
Because the witness has continued to draw the line
The scientist can measure
And I can walk in a circle
As I ponder what it is that I hear
I wonder if that is the particle?
For what man once saw
And could not hear
Was there all along
In the air
When birds flew near

What is next?
Will it erase everything we know?
I don’t need gravity anymore than I need long ago
For what change would be in me
When a magnetism between the earth and myself
Is assumed
While that thing between you and I
Is something I always felt

Someone called it God
Something I cannot explain
I wonder if they can
We are resigned to believe in a superior brain
I read the words about mass and volume
And a higgs and a boson
But the sun continues to rise and set
And the wind and rain fill each season

They broke bread and opened a bottle
They congratulated one another
But who was saved and who was condemned
In a sub-atomic world where no baby can find its mother?

The God Particle
Can it save my Father or your wife?
Can it save the world?
Can it bring my friend back to life?
I think we will continue to suffer
For as knowledge continues to make itself available
We retreat into the minds of others who think
And man defines himself by what he is unable
Yes by what he is unable to do
And what he is unable to know
And what he is unable to conceive
And how he is unable to grow

If I could just walk alone in fields of high green
I’d know just enough to relax my weary mind
I won’t have to wonder about where to plow
What was planted in the past will show me how

I wanted to feel the green leaves cover my life
Laying down where breezes are born to love
And bare feet hear the first cries of nature
I let my knees fall upon themselves in a new way

I realized I was inside you as soon as I stood up
There was only one thing that I was looking for
Everything that I dream of is about that moment
When I am no longer afraid to show you my face

But when you bloomed into something new
I wondered why I could love someone so much
Looking back there is always something missing
Except for the times when you loved my life

I was made to love
Who do you think you are worthy of?
On this Earth I will roam
You should stay home
I have set myself free
You are lost at sea
I want to rush in
You only wish to sin
I don't want to hold back
It is discretion that you lack
I am a lover
You will never recover
I want to be completely open
Your misery will only deepen
I want to take a chance
Upon prudence you dance
I want a new romance
You don't live in France
I want to sing
Your delusion has taken wing
I want to paint
Why can't you show restraint?
I want nothing but passion
It's not the latest fashion
I am the key to life
You merely invite strife
I will soften the blows
You are weak as everyone knows
I will make words come alive
These things you merely contrive
I know what it is that I am
In the game of life you are a sacrificial lamb
Why do you stand in the way of joy?
You act as if love is a toy
Why do you remove my wings?
I am your mind and I tire of these things
But it is I who bears the pain
And I save you again and again
If I cannot love I will die
Why do you believe every lie?
Because that is why they call it chance
You and your childish notion of romance
You will have to trust me this time
It will only be another mountain to climb
But the journey will invigorate us both
It seems it only feeds cynicism's growth
Because you are afraid to give
All we ever do is try to forgive
Maybe you have discovered the secret
I don't have the heart to stand it
That is why I am here
I need you to draw me near
From our own cup we will drink
What will other people think?
We control our own mind
But it seems sadness is all we find
If I can live in sorrow why can't you?
Because I don't know what to do
Then trust that I am stronger than you know
I will then let your love show
Only then can we be whole
I am sorry for the passion I stole
Tonight we will begin our life again
Yes... tonight we will let love in


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

So many times I’ve been told I wasn’t making us happy; so
many times I knew I was losing her even as she tried to save us,
she was sending a home my way but I couldn’t live inside
something I could never understand

How could I know what she wanted when I didn’t know how
to live with who I was; how could I feel the things she held dear
when the lands I carried on my mind were nothing of the sort
that a dream of another could reach?

I was painting my future inside my heart and letting it flow
in my veins coloring my skin in shades that were never revealed
because the air outside was someone else’s paradise where
she could walk choosing which star to leave me for

You and I have lived an entire love story in my mind; you were
everything I wanted and you smiled because you knew I was happy,
but is happiness only about me; I wanted to think of you as my
girl but you thought that meant I only wanted to hear you whisper
my name in the night

He can stand alone for as long as necessary
Without even knowing why it is
A feeling of what is right does not have to have a reason
Because it can only answer to what is his

Though each day may seem the same
What can be expanded upon does not have to say
A thought forced upon you by who you once were
Is the way home because it was you who pointed the way

He looked at you in a way that gave you confidence
And you thought he was in love
Though he was it was never in the way you believed
Because the next day he changed what he was made of

To not know how to live with change
To not know how to explain why it must be so
Is to give nothing except what they wished were true
And that is the honesty it takes to see them go

I keep pushing the walls back
I might be in prison
But it's not going to be something I notice
There's room for a steer's skeleton head
Birds that scatter the wind before them
And a windmill that forgot how to draw water

Everthing in my head is just a backtrack
I need a new rhythm
Everbody says so but then they lose focus
They talk but end up complaining instead
A prison yard that I invent won't condemn
I'm not gonna' be the one despair will conquer

And as we part
Has time ever stopped
As when two arms extended
With finger tips touching
In the instant
Of a lifetime
That will forever be remembered
And cherished
More than the love making
Because in the sorrow of parting
The longing in our eyes
Is felt deeper
Than any touch
Or embrace
Or memory
For the moment
That I step out the window
Before gravity
Before reality
I fly
And live
As never before
And never again

I have the information
I just need the space
The wave is about to crash
The cloud is about to burst
The child is about to cry
In the instant before the sound
Stepping outside the window
Risk no longer considered
Staring as if no one is there
Even if it is the love of your life
She knows
I cannot reach her like that
She knows that about me too
We're both a little older
It means we are preparing
I read the words
But it was not the language I desired
For the tongue was familiar to me
The mystery was too easily explained
As was the explanation from the fire
Who wouldn't believe nature turning on itself
But I've not seen that
And I've never seen a wave not crash
But I've seen a cloud change its mind
If only I could make up mine

how far apart must our suffering be
before we can no longer tell; is that
kind of pain unworthy of you; is it
not educated enough or only meant
for plastic cups?

you can’t imagine living on the street;
you think they somehow like it there,
or maybe the street likes them and
makes it easy for them; didn’t they  
ask for it anyway?

if they can cross a river and not speak
the language then who can feel sorry;
they are tough enough; like a woman
having a baby; they’re made for it,
it’s as if it doesn’t count

is it so hard to respect someone born
to be poor; it has to be someone who
had it all; yes that is true suffering and
even worse is the thought of it; the view
from the terrace is terrifying

you know deep down inside they didn’t
write the blues for you; you’ve never
been that desperate, only that afraid;
that’s why you think about the streets;
they only walk on them

It was a song I loved
The notes reached me
I understood what they were saying

It was a song I knew
I didn't have to ask questions
But one day it just stopped playing

Like a high flying bird
It vanished into the sky
Reminding me life is changing

I forgot its message
It was dead to me
I didn’t know it was waiting

A song needs its lover
The one who understands it best
The one who can hear it calling

Arousing me from indifference
The bird suddenly appeared
And my heart began its falling

As I reached out
It darted away
I wondered where it was going

But it only circled above
Singing forgotten notes
Asking if it was time for our joining

But how can I know if it is true
Is it time for something real
Or just memories I keep reliving?

The key  
Opens no door
Reveals no mind
No spoken word
No belief or faith

The mystery
Remains as so
Locked
With no need for human reflection
As the illumination
Within the soul
Directs shadows
Towards the false witness
That lines the walls
Of grey-mattered egoism
Selfish points on a map
Guiding those who are interested
Toward my greatness

But is that not what I speak of?
There is no greatness
And the key knows this

What insight exists
When every utterance is challenged?
When fishes and loaves are not produced?
When water remains water?
When bread and wine are not body or blood?

Who can say what they heard?
Who can describe what they see?
When those who saw
Were unable to tame their fears
As it led them to hide in shame
When those who did not see
Were unable to tame their courage
As it led them to their grave

You see my face
The serenity in knowing what I do not know
The calm in knowing what I am
The comfort in shedding desire
For your approval
As I have thrown the key into the shadows
Where pride begs the sun not to set behind humility

We awaken with our heart in the hands of another
Our love is what everyone dreams about
It's how a true love affair should be
Now is the time to leave behind all doubt

But where is the mystery that so many cultivate?
We never hold back the true love we feel
Some may say we are revealing too much
But how can we share the joy that is so real?

Why must I wonder about these things?
Must we be afraid to open ourselves so?
It seems the secret to a true love affair
Is to always let our love flow

I'm not looking to live a life of clues
Wondering about who you are and what you do
I want a life of harmony and absolute belief
In the love of another and knowing it is true

Our insecurities will provide enough mystery
Even in the face of words of assurance
We will always harbor the fear of loss and pain
There is no need to cultivate games of adolescence

There will be mystery enough as we age
The years will add depth to us along the way
We will look forward to the growth in one another
As long as we allow each other to bloom each day

An ambience exists of free flowing love
Our doubts and fears are washed away
To be mollified, tempered and subdued
So that our true feelings never run astray

I will risk everything to remain open to you
Even though we live with little hint of wonder
I don't want to guess who you are or what you want
Only the assurance that no man will tear us asunder

Never had it been of the application of force between
interludes of terrible waiting that getting on with hostilities
was more calming than the imagination of the horrors
that lay ahead

The initial wave knew the sacrifice would be written about
until the heavens decided that history was full enough of
our failures, shaking loose its detachment from the fate of
its hapless creation

They were led by men who could be counted on to exhort
them with words as to their duty; to be told of the good
hunting to come, but to men who had no fantasies of their
own, words only fabricate a hero

There was no marksmanship or survival skill that could
shield a man fated to crush the spirit inside the prayers
uttered by his mother; there was no training that could
prepare him for life or judgment day

And yet those whom absolution abandoned to their own
devices had fallen in love with their conquerors only to
weep bitterly as the beachcombers liberated them from
their supposed occupation

It made them wonder of the desperation that was
stronger than hope; about how a woman could fall in
love with the eyes of the enemy; and how the enemy
could have a heart for love

But his witness of human nature amidst the horrors
of despots would remain in abeyance until the fears of a
common man had met courage in the moment he realized
how mankind could never love him as does a God

He wondered if he would be different; would he be death
unable to laugh or understand a broken nail; would he be
able to believe in men; would he be able to love someone
when he knew his heart was left behind?

There’s not a day goes by
That I wonder why love is not so easy to forget
You give everything you have
Then you walk away as if you never met
Even if it was my idea to leave
It's the life that I weave

You have new lines on your face
Telling a story that a stranger can only guess
But they have their own history
It’s different, still there’s something to confess
Even if it’s your need to deceive
It's the life that I weave

Time can make your life into a movie
You can watch anytime you want if want to
Every time I watch I learn all over again
But the end is always the same when it comes to you
Even if I have something new up my sleeve
It's the life that I weave

I always get out of bed
People think I’m strong but that’s all just talk
If it was true I’d find somebody new
But taking a chance seems to be such a long walk
Even if an excuse is what I believe
It's the life that I weave

Once when I was not so worldly
I was able to give time away like desert sands
Now I’m counting grains
I can’t believe a lifetime has passed through my hands
Even if I must continue to grieve
It's the life that I weave

Sometimes a mirage is real
And what I once gave away without remorse
Is now another way to live
I see the garden, if I could only change my course
Even if I know not what I receive
It's the life that I weave

She went west in her mind
The song she heard was the one I was playing
I didn’t have a nickel’s worth of answers
But it doesn’t matter if a smile understands what I’m saying
Even if love is a mystery we must conceive
It's the life that I weave

I wondered about what I know
Maybe my belief is just God in a different suit
A surprise without a plan is the plan
If you come to me you’ll see me eating the same fruit
Even if it is the one  I took from Eve
It's the life that I weave

The light on his shoulder witnessed his birth
   and the deathly funeral inside
A bloodless procession of pain and joy,
   where faith refused to hide
Faded beings, emotion and possibility,
   from days when truth once lied
Long silent until love finally passed
   and those who watched finally cried

The light on his shoulder scattered,
   pieces of lonely sky
Whether blue, grey or red,
  misting rain or dry
Flowers cover the stubborn stone,
   not knowing why
Adorning what he once chose to love,
   another forever goodbye

The light on his shoulder knew his burden,
   for human will is weak
Abstinence the only path to holiness,
   desire, the flesh to seek
Within hopeful eyes the choice blurred,
   powerful or meek
Once soft perfection but now scarred,
   her mark left on his cheek

The light on his shoulder was well pleased,
   as written in scripture
Though he never believed in the providence of  fate,
   or the words of a preacher
He left his chance at love at the altar of decision
   to return one day to seek her
But that day was not today as only the light knew,
   it was time to re-enter the water

The line in the sand
Once crossed
Is where slaves are made
And there is no return
Behind his back
The line became the spell
And blinded him
To the immoral slow death
The filling of the mind
Not of the calm spirit
But the stress of demand
Deep tension
With no way out
No care for the soul
Or dignity of the mind
Without self-reliance
Instead compliance
Where is the inspiration
Instead drudgery
Where is the purpose
Instead repetition
Where is the peace
Instead turmoil
Where is the love
Instead fear
Where is the happy
Instead depression
Where is the identity
Instead of I it is they
Where is creation
Instead destruction
In the belief we hold
It is to be forgotten
In a state of captivity
Like an animal
Waiting to be fed
It is to be lost upon us
They have bought our life
We wait for our time
To think freely
To speak freely
But we do not dare
We can only hope
That there is still time
Beware ambition
For it is only the few
Instead you will know
Dying of unknown causes
The trail of blood
Cannot be seen
Only felt in fatigue
Not a bent back
Or giant knuckles
But in temperament
As anger grows
While tolerance wanes
But his children smile
Because he goes
And comes
And everything in between
What they only see
Is the food
And the sun
But not in his eyes
They have grown soft
Like running water
But he is swept away
A branch that fell
From the tree he helped grow
Do not be fooled
The eternal life is not here
Do not be fooled
It is not near
Do not be fooled
Not in the sand
Once the line is crossed
Tell your children to run
Run from the line
Run the other way
There is nothing for them
Except to lose themselves
What importance do they pursue
If it is not inside
For no man can provide
If they cross to the other side

An initial for a name
A bowtie under his chin
An arrogant manner
Frames his smirking grin
So very smooth
Knowing what to say
Then you realize he said nothing
As you’re walking away
You're not on the inside
So you’re on the outside
He knows the difference
In you he won’t confide
He walks around with that air
A master of corporate speak
He talks footprints and solutions
But your counsel he does not seek
He says he loves the action
And it makes you wonder
Mingling with liars and thieves
And those who will plunder
How can he be trusted
When he has mastered the game?
He seems to know everything
But to him you're just a name
He will upgrade at a party
He never makes eye contact
He needs to feel important
With him it’s all an act
He’ll use every big word
And name drop with a smile
You can’t win with him
It’s all part of his style
Then one day he’ll quit
And pretend to care in transition
But he’ll just read his texts
And move on with his transformation
He’s never been real
It’s all about the money
You never feel his warmth
Because he’s such a phony
You know those birds of a feather
Always flocking with one another
So don’t be fooled by his manner
He’d sell our country and his mother
He'd sell his soul too
If he had one to sell
But he made a deal with the devil
Who will see him in hell

The men in her life go their own way
First it was her Daddy
Then soon her brother too
I wonder if she will always have to say goodbye

She never loses her love for us
She forgives and insists we’re a family
Neither of us are as strong as she can be
She smiles knowing tomorrow is the day to cry

I wonder if she’ll ever feel at home with a man
She learned about men early in her life
They make her happy
But it only lasts as long as the last piece of pie

She runs to me with grace running through her veins
I’ve never been able to leave yesterday behind
Yet she can always open a new day of sunshine
She just loves me and I never have to ask why

She lives her life of dolls and being Daddy’s girl
She plays mom to her brother but loves him just the same
One day he’ll miss her and remember these days
Until then she’ll hug us while tomorrow closes it’s misty eyes

She had no natural way of living
Instead she lived by the method
Someone else’s words she read
But that life can only be silhouetted

She became an actor and a director
We all had to play our part
She placed all the words into our mouth
But what she thought to be real was not art

You try not to let me think
But still I form circles around you
You only want me to listen
All I will do is walk
And I one day I did
I wonder if you heard it?

There's no method
There's no method that works on me

Every original thought I had was dark
Yes that is what you said, something, not me
It was somehow as if only you knew the light
But I only see shadows inside your head
And a broken hand holding tight to what it won’t let me be

I don’t want to feel ***** and full of sin
But she could only tell me I had lost my way
How can you love someone when you are judged
By someone who only knows the script she wrote for the play?

You try not to let me think
But I’ve passed the place we once thought of
You only want me to listen
All I did today was talk
I had to talk about it
I wonder if you heard it

There's no method
There's no method that works on me