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i should have jumped
they tried to push me over the
edge but I
pulled the thistles that broke through
the desert cracks
and clung to them like a starving child
to a mother
I was starving too.
all the magic mushrooms and popped pills
all the heart-racing clubs, and sunsets,
laying on dew, high,
seeking out foreign planets.
never amounts to anything.
for any substance
or celestial body
trying to satisfy my soul,
couldn't bring me closer to you.
 Oct 2014 Margaret Austin Go
III
There seems to be
     A sea in me,

And my ribcage is beginning to leak.
If I die and
No one  
Remembers me
Was I really alive in the **first place...
The devils daughter she was
Birthed from sin
Opposites attracted
One night of
Sadistic
Heavenly
Pleasure
Burnt from her mothers womb
Cries that  awoke
Heaven
&
Hell
She was a beauty unparalleled
Her eyes a contrast
Sclera's were as black as death
But pupil's & iris as
White as silk
She was no ones fool
Knowledge
Satanic
Heavenly
Imbued with in her thoughts
Knowledge was her power
"Angel Winged"
"Devils Horns"
She bathed in holy water
She liked the feel of it upon her skin
"Burning with pleasure"
"Her horns burn bright"
She is akin to both the feelings of
Pain,
&
Pleasure,
For she was of
Heaven
&
Hell
Though both sent lower minions
For the sacrilege birthed
An abomination of beauty and sin
But she was her own person
Not bowing to either above or below,
She was of two worlds,
While living in plain sight,
That girl with black fire in her eyes she is the
Angels  Devil of Purity & *Sin.
let me lay my palms
in that sunken space
between the contours of
your jawline and cheekbones.
let my fingers hide itself
within the secrets of
your jet black hair.
let me draw you close
and closer until
my face fits perfectly in the mold of yours.

it's alright to cry.
maybe your tears will wash the
doubts
hiding between your
lines and creases and the
fear
exuding from your pores.

let my eyes fathom
the depths of yours.
i am sure that hope and wonder
are just there sleeping beneath
and
until they awaken
and rise above the waters,
i will
look at you,
watch over you.
i will
embrace you
until your head
stills its throbbing,
until your skin
regains its glow and warmth
i will.
it's unfair that  i'm having the time of my life while you're always out there crying.
a sudden ring
pierces through the stillness of the night.
he says that he's just outside the door.
he says that he's waiting for me.

12:02 am:
the start of a midnight fantasy

i put on my sweater and slippers.
taking quiet and careful steps,
i escape the four corners of reality and
plunge into the chilly air and the sea of moonbeams.
a warm embrace and a playful laugh welcomes me.

we walk
under the comets and constellations
kicking away pebbles and fallen autumn leaves,
dancing to the beat of our hearts
at the empty city street.

we arrive at the store;
the stark fluorescent light floods our eyes as
i push open the foggy glass door.
he pays pennies, paper bills,
and an encouraging smile
to the lonely counter cashier.

we feast on steaming cups of noodles and
a bag of cheesy chips while
telling stories of the past and
sharing ideas of the future.
we paint visions in our heads,
etch promises in our hearts.
all these with laughter,
echoing to our very souls.

bliss
makes the hours fly by.
the pink hues of dawn chases the moon away.
basking in its gentle rays,
we watch the waking of the sun
as it rises from behind the hills and rooftops.
and like the glorious light,
joy and hope surges through our veins.
and though we don't even touch
we feel love's embrace.

there is a sudden sweep of panic though.
before our parents wake up
we bid each other
thank you and goodbye
and run back to our homes.

but
no matter what,
we know
surely and sincerely
that no morning can ever end our
midnight fantasy.
this is fiction. but i did used to sneak out of the house at midnight to just hang out with my neighbors. now they all live somewhere else though, and so here i am just at my room alone huhu
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