Many have come before us
many to come after we leave
don’t wake us from the hush
traveler here silently grieve.

Time washed we came on the shore
to our place ‘neath the moss laden stone
when our dreams soared no more
down here we lay cold alone.

Hold here traveler your breath
forget for once all the strife
hear the peace of the world beneath
death in the midst of life.

I'm sick
of constantly
being on the
back-burner.

I am not someone
you can just use.
I am not,
and never will be,
"the second best."

Give me your all
or give me
nothing.

I have searched for your face tirelessly everywhere.
Though I've failed in my quest, I know you're there...
I have seen your beauty in the full-moon's glow.
I have seen your immensity in the celestial flow.
I have seen your precision in an atoms procession.
I have seen your passion in a poets obsession.
I have seen your bounty when a rain rejuvenates.
I have seen your mercy when a seedling germinates.
I have seen your restrain when injustice prevailed.
I have seen your wrath on great cities razed.
Though I've seen you not, I've seen your essence,
I have felt your love and your nurturing presence.

Beautiful and hungry,
They proclaim my fears.
They scream out of the darkness,
They whisper into my ears.

"A moment on the lips,
Adds ten pounds to your hips."

It rips into my sides,
It makes my stomach churn.
I guess I'll always think this way.
I guess I'll never learn.

"Dance for me my puppet."
And so I danced for her.
"Bind yourself to me my dear"
And so I bound myself to her.
"Listen to me and no one else."
And so I listened to only her.
"Starve yourself for me my precious."
And so killed myself for her.

Stretch marks.
  Cellulite.
    Scales.

Want.
  Pretty  

Reflection,
  Is that really me?

Knife.
  Shredder.
    Fats be gone.
      For the better.

Please?

Vines swindle & slither along my spine
Clawing & Raking thorns into my thighs.
When will I  realize?
That I am no good, too fat, not thin enough.
I'll wander this Earth, lifetime after another
until I'm emaciated as the rings of Saturn.
Only then will I be thin.

EDNOS is:
 confusion.

-starving for days,
 then bingeing every day for a week.

-puking until you see blood, 
because you failed yet again.

-starving again, 
because you’re too fat to function.

-puking some more,
 because you’re not strong enough.
EDNOS is: 
manic.

-running for hours,
 because running makes you thin.

-exercising in the early morning,
because every minute counts.

-constantly fidgeting, 
because moving burns calories.

-counting calories like a pro,
 because everything has to be exact.

-organizing everything,
 because it calms you down.
EDNOS is:
 horrible.

-pulling your head out of the toilet,
with tears running down your face and puke all over.

-fake smiling at everyone,
 because no one would believe you if you were honest.

-your mind spinning 100miles/hour,
 because demons control your thoughts.

-comparing yourself to everyone you see,
 because you’re too fat to be a part of society.

-wanting to die every second, 
because you’re not perfect.
EDNOS is:
 me.