Thick chilling lines
Trick trick trickling down the canvas
Swift passionate movements
A cold critical stare

The colors are entangled with passion
The paint lays in heaps of hard work
Yet you crash to the linoleum
Thrashing out your arms-

Then all is still and smells of lavender
The birds of the canvas sing
Their songs melancholy and hopefully
Yet they will never fly

I'm slowly deteriorating into space
All I can see as I'm going is your face
Plastered up against the wall
Hidden on every hall in my mind
Your voice stretches to the sky
Telling me that I should try
Try to stay alive for what it's worth
That I've been surviving since birth
It'd be a shame to quit now
When all the voices ring loud
To tell me that I'm alright
Even if I get a fright
I can keep on living this life
And I can ignore the knife
That's implanted in my back
Because of the love you lack
My mind is now a racetrack
That goes all the way to the moon & back
And I keep repeating  laps

As the world hands me the presents I forget to wrap
Because you forgot to close the door
In hopes that you would lure
Away all the lies you've fed to me
In hopes that I would see
How different we are
Because you've got beauty and I've got scars
Left on the inside of my mind
Because someone was so unkind
As to leave these lies inside  
So now I'm just dreading the ride
Around this track of broken hopes
Because someone tied these ropes
Around my neck in hope that I would think it was love
And as I walk around the track once more
It's very hard to ignore
The knife cabinet with a wide open  door
That's now open to explore

******* in the air and filling up your lungs
Then letting it stay there as your tongue becomes numb
A slight dizziness arises in your head
And the feeling of your heartbeat as you lay in bed
A slight queasiness in your stomach
A tickle of your throat
And soon you have the sensation that you're about to float
A slight rise of panic
A simple yet complex thought
Then you exhale and the feeling is still caught
In the pit of your stomach until you catch your breathe
And the feeling is gone until your dying death

It clings to me when I walk
It's noticeable in my voice when I talk
It holds me back from my dreams
It takes away the gleam
From my eyes
And makes me despise
My own voice
My own face
Myself

It's inevitable it seems
These feelings, they deem,
Control over my mind
It's becoming so hard to find
Out how to make it stop
So I am no longer a prop
No longer a toy
No longer a victim
Finally free.

I'm learning to let go
To make it bestow
All it's false power upon me
To not let it change the way I see
The stage light shining down
And my voice that never lets me down

Inside its burning
Inside I'm hurting
Please someone let it rain
Calm my burning pain
Calm my insolent thoughts
Please let it rain

Outside I'm hidden
Outside I've ridden
The imperfections from beneath
I've made a mask
To cover up the past
Please pull off this sheath

Can't you see I'm hurting
Can't you see It's burning
Why won't you let it rain?

I've asked for rain you've brought a storm

Please make it stop I never asked for a thunderstorm

Inside its pouring
Inside I'm restoring
All the memories you've washed away

That night we said a million words
One of them being I love you
And then I finally heard
You say you loved me too

My heart skipped a beat
My mind practically shut off
Little did I know it'd be bittersweet
Our love seemed to stop after takeoff

My love went on
But your love for me dwindled
It almost seems gone
But my love for you is forever kindled

You say you still love me
You say you still care
Why is it so hard for me to see
There's something still there

I stare at the moon-from the moon
And look myself in the eyes
Through the mirror
Where my thoughts reflect
The meer image of curiosity
The lack of answers lingers-
Yet my imagination grows
Like the depths of the ocean
I plead to know
And then I sleep...
And then I dream....
And then I am safe.

they whisk you away
to a world of decay
where they build themselves up
and then return back to gray

they become tangled
in a twist of unexplained and mangled
Thoughts that resonate
And then soon dissipate
Into nothing but confusion
Sometimes they're nothing but delusions

Whether real or fake
We always will ache
When our feeling of love
Is shoved out of the way
And then we fall all the same
When it comes back another day

I've loved you
I've loved you for a day
Then a day more
The weeks become longer
And I've began to ponder
Us together

You've never loved me
Not even for a second
Not even half of one
The truth becomes crushing
I now am rushing
To win you over

You never will love me
Not for a day
Nor for a second
But I will love you
I love all the things you do
And it will **** me

We like to think we know
      Know the difference between


Wrong
         And
               Right


But will we ever?

We like to think we hold the world in our hands

We like to think that we can control everything that is thrown at us


We like to hide behind masks and tattered sheaths of confidence

We all look at the world differently

And the world to you

Is not the world to someone else

So do we really know

What the world is let alone what is wrong in it and what is right?

Hiding in plain sight
Is better than hiding in black and white
Because putting on a mask
Can prevent you from doing the task
That you were sent out to do
Because you stand out when your blue
And people can recognize
That there's something going  on inside
That you've covered up with plaster
Because you've become the master
At hiding your feelings deep inside
Where you think they will not find
The thoughts you store away
That will haunt you another day
So you're left to make a choice
To either speak up so they can hear your voice
Or hide within a crowd
And if it gets too loud
Mumble something that they can not hear
In hopes someone is near
To see what's deep inside
So you can finally take off your mask
And focus on the task
You've been destined to complete all along

Broken disassembled fragments,
a fragile moonstone radiates brightly
It's color reflects off the splintered mirror
Shattering it's own happiness
It self destructs
It has chose it's path
A scandalous course
A mediocre lesson
A heartfelt decision
Yet it longs! To put it self back together
The glue does not hold
Scattering in all directions,
The pieces fall to the gelid ground

A slight skim
A simple trace
A quiet peace
A harsh taste
A bold expression
An abstract mind
But a head so detailed
You can hardly ever find
What you're looking for

A clear film cover stretches over the image
Cool, crisp, clear visuals
Lingering heart-wrenching memories
Preserved in sheer peace
Desperate crying and wishful thinking
You're trapped in your head

Deceiving were they
Peering out of every corner
They would never stay
Despite the desperate mourners

You took your broken hearts
And traveled on your way
You took away all the parts
Never could you say
How much it hurt you
To turn your back and leave
There was nothing I could do
But lay and grieve

They shine bright like a star in the sky
Your hair is bold and calming like a cool autumn day
Your words are refreshing and you speak with a subtle tone of wonder
And your laugh is those of a thousand singing birds
When you smile it fills my stomach with butterflies
And your cherry red hair reminds me of the cherry tree we used to sit under and laugh at all the little things we loved

When I enter that state
It becomes hard to wait
To see the colors all fade away
Into something so beautiful
It's like staring into the sun
The day had already begun
And you've seen everything before
But now it's so different
You've melted away the colors
And brought out something even more magnificent

Oh how could you turn away!
As I was pouring out to you
Everything I've learned
How I was suffering-
You turned your back
You faded away!
You took what you wanted and left
I was stranded alone- all by myself
As a result of your cruel theft

It was yellow
Cool colored yet bright
Warm colored yet dark
And the essence of its glow,
Was forever sharp
The vivid images replay in sheer silence
The palpitations of thoughts overwhelm
Reality emerges- only to shed a layer of tears
Till new emotions overcome the old