I don’t want to be a princess.
I prefer to be a wall
or a shoulder
that some one can lean on
I don’t want to be spoiled
I want to
fight
Get dirt on my clothes
Clean them
search more
fail more
know more
see everything
Try everything
I want to share the road
With some one
Running not carried
I want to look behind
And see MY footprints.

You held the paper
between you lips
and inhaled

I've never
Been so jealous
Of a cigarette

Click, click
Scroll, scroll
Light shine in my face
Clock is ticking
As I lie awake

What time is it now?
Doesn’t even matter
The birds will chirp soon
I’ll hear all the clatter

My family waking,
Breakfast will cook
“You’re up early!”
But sleep I never took

Click, click
Scroll, scroll
Tap, tap
Roll, roll

Side to side
I rocked all night
A comfortable spot?
No, not quite.

Time to get up, another restless night.

She does not ask me
May I be there
She does not ask me
If I want her
She does not ask me
In the right time
She does not ask me about the day
She is just there
The fear

When you left
I felt low
I felt hurt
I felt crushed
I felt upset

After you left
I felt stronger
I felt alive
I felt independent
I felt awake

Now you have left
I feel stronger
I feel wiser
I feel happier

Pain is better than numbness,
because at least I can feel
my life not just move through it.