Alice Lovey

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

I want to write of nature.
I want to write of mountains.
I want the white waters of the rivers
To engulf me,
Coldly calming my swollen heart.
But I am only in an office park devoid of green.
These towers are like trees,
But lifeless and alone am I
Even in the crowd around me.
I want the smell of the soil.
I want the fractals of sun through the leaves.
Take my hand tightly and guide me
'Cross the slippery stones along this path.
My favorite things are those photogenic flowers...
The ones here don't grow quite the same,
Trapped in a small patch of dying dirt.
I look at that concrete cage and think of me.
I want to write of nature, but there are only mirrors
Of the glass miles high that show me exactly where I was never meant to be.

The city slowly becomes less of my favorite thing... I wish I had a travel partner.

#nature #city #lament #sad #flowers #mountains #river

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

Don’t Leave Me

Don't leave me, as you know they have before.
These seasons have weathered me—
I no longer open my door, nor come fervently knocking on yours.
Hide away the things I wish to forget
As I live within the life you’ve no heart to quit.
I place myself in sweet words that were never mine to keep,
Though you still lift the blanket back onto my shoulder
If I begin to weep.
I’ve shown you my thin skin and bruises
Though it's easy for you to turn blind.
Clasped hands 'round yours unraveling threads,
I smile, "Let's leave our pasts behind."
Because Poetry is Honesty
And I’m different from them:
I’m still here
To see through the lies
And face all of our weaknesses and fear.
Though I am no Wonder Woman,
I try ne’er falling to despair,
I hold close this budding bond
Dust-encrusted
And so rare,
Then remember the times we'd said "together."
It resonates mildly in my marrow.
Penetrate me deeply with Achilles' arrow.
Fighting battles that are not mine, I had joined your side.
Reluctance and resignation only when you say
"Goodbye."
Still I promise “Never,” "Forever"
And still I don't let go...
Though which of us hangs off this cliffside?
What end must lie below?
The emptiest I ever felt were my dusks without you.
Still, our minds so exhausted,
You were not perfect, and I knew.
I welcomed it, every bit,
Uncertain only by my own flaw
And in those poems you didn't write for me,
And in the nightmares that I saw.

#relationship #love #unconditional #unconditionallove #nightmares #poetry #honesty

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

I Want to Possess You

I want to possess you.

I want the quivering of your throne,
The trembling of your bones underneath me.
I want beautiful blood to bleed for me.
Reach for me from your place beneath me.

Between my fingers
I want to feel the struggling breaths of your heart,
Pinched veins in your throat,
And your whimper like a sweet ****.
In the dark...the dark.

The dark in my selfish eyes match the night.
The coo in my voice tells you it's fine...
Bruises ruin ruined skin,
I make you mine.

Thin nails along your jaw,
Devil's claw.
Say it now, say it raw:
You are mine.

Never let another come near,
Nor touch you, taste you.
Raging jealousy, I fear.
You are my pet who speaks when I say, my dear.

On the scent of musk, a predator's lust;
I must admit unsettling crime:
I'm tired of watching...
I'll make you mine.

Now beg for me.
Rope 'round your wrists,
Under my control.
You are darling like this.

Teeth leave starved greedy marks,
Labored torn lips and fingertips
Where the sweat pools in the dark...
The dark.

Self-explanatory, but I wanted to go for something a little more adult and violent. May edit this more later; for now, I am exhausted.

#lust #love #possess #control #possessiveness #jealous #**** #*** #blood #*****

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

You let love in

Oh, gentle spring rain...
Softens what bitter winter pain.
Then summer again...
Tears tittered as anxiety falls 'way
But strikes freely as you recall the day
These cries weren’t like a gentle rain—but when you used to play
Alone
That lonely autumn roam on the playground with no home
In which to return.
On yourself you were so stern...
"Never let them in,"
Ascertained, “Love never will begin.”
But here it has begun, and your heart’s song once unsung,
So unsung,
Plays on the brittle harp among this young
Love to whom you’ve now arrived...
They’ve intruded through what fortress fortifies the lies
‘Round the eyes like skies
Once full of birds but now emptier than the glass you leave in the quiet nights.
Safe no more are you in the barbed wire wrapped right wrong over your ribs.
Place down that nimble nib so eloquent with the fib
Of that which you feed yourself in this wintry crib...
The gentle spring rain is the shedding of your skin.
You let love in,
Afraid your bones will break at the first touch,
Wondering which is the last such...

You let love in and your weeps weaken to whimpers
Because you are so tired...your soul is so tired.
And finally you let love in...and you surrender.
To the touch that is so, so tender.
And everything
Is okay.

Listen to Bach’s “Air on the G String” performed by The Voices of Music. It was the perfect feel I needed to write this. Hopefully my point got across but I realize I can be a bit cryptic.

This was very enjoyable to write. I borrowed the "Gentle spring rain" from another, immediately inspired to compare it to the shedding of tears when you are so relieved, yet afraid, as you fall in love.

#love #breakdown #lettingin #nature #spring #rain #fallinginlove #winter #seasons #rhyme

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

I can't even remember her name

Pure white,
A flash of gold.
An angel truly fallen.
She found me.
I twist my head, hair tossing.
I glimpse the saddest scene.
Her majesty.
Her purity
Enveloped in a grayscale.
I see your broken wing, love,
But it never kept you from loving.
Your compassion inspires me.
Are you here to guide me?
A blood red that stains porcelain skin,
Deepest scars that tear apart the heart.
Yet she found me,
Asiding her tragedy,
To show me the light.
A flash of gold,
And the purest white
I've ever seen.

Written about an online friend who needed me when I needed her. I haven't seen her in a long time; I really fear she's not around at all anymore. How do you truly convince someone to live when the life is not yours?

#love #friendship #angel #angelic #gold #blood #suicide #selfharm #savior

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

The vibrations of the walls when you yell so excitedly make me laugh

"What's mine is yours,"

I wish I could fulfill your life with mine.
The feeling of two as one, nothing left undone,
Touch my things and leave oily prints.
Move them around; I'll find them again.
Or do you remember where you set it? I think you said you used it by the phone.

"My days are yours,"

The same sunrise glossing over slitted eyes.
They pull me in even when you've seen the worst in the night.
The shouting right beside me, or from the other room
As we go about routines, disturbing but not disrupting
It's okay with me, if it's okay with you?

Living together with someone--that comfort of being in a home and sharing your things. Even when they misplace them and it irritates you, the little things aren't a bother when you can unroll your skin around them.

#love #together #relationship #sharing #comfort

Alice Lovey Apr 2018

Playwright

I don't want to lose you to those dark nights
When the light
is just right
to begin your performance of just you

I know how it feels, it's happened to me too
No value
In rendezvous
It's a curtain call, I say my "adieu"

Yeah, you hurt me pretty badly
But I knew, we agreed,
This would never be easy
And it kills you,
It tears you apart
To know you've caused this damage
Right from the start

And it never goes
It never goes

Those bright days,
Sunshine rays
And neon shades
With me, with you,
One truth:
It's possible to feel this good again.

Those paling scars,
Both of ours,
Newborn bright stars
With me, with you,
One truth:
It's possible to have this gone again.

And it never goes
It never goes

I don't want to lose you to those dark nights
Black, once white
In the moonlight
Because there was never a stage, yet you wrote playwright

And it never goes
It never goes

A scene with me, a scene with you,
One truth:
It's possible to never know.

Suicidal loved ones.

#suicide #selfharm #love #optimism #uncertainty #playwright