he taught me
how to love myself
on every day i did not
i hated everything
about my self
yet self love he still brought

i used to flinch
when his hand touched my skin
i'd stay still holding my breath
while ******* my stomach in

i'd look away
down at the ground
despised my body
that seemed to round

i'd never rest
my weight on him
afraid to crush his bones
since a saw myself far from thin

but he held me close
against his skin
said i was beautiful
with a reassuring grin

not a day goes by
that he doesn't make sure
i know my self-loathing
is utterly obscure

so now i see beauty
in plain brown eyes
and see something lovely
in big stretch marked thighs

although i dont love it
i don't hate every inch
thanks to him and his effort
i don't see it and flinch

he taught me
how to love myself
and now i think i do
i hated everything
about my self
but he has helped fix this view

s.s

It's amazing don't you think
That you don't have to drive or drink
To test your mettle skill and soul
You just need one big round pothole

I was so terrified
At my first kiss
I was his first too
He told me I was terrible

The second I only prefer
Not to mention
So sweet
What a shame

So when it came to you
I was petrified
The first time
Our lips touched

So deathly afraid
That I wouldn’t be
Enough/ good enough for you to stay
No one else did,

No one but you

she kept dreaming
of him breaking
nightmares plaguing
wake up shaking

****** body on red pavement
or holes in the wall
frustration dwelling anger burning
all ended with a call

him saying "i need you"
wishing her to be there
but she never showed up
he'd hang up with "you don't care"

she heard all of it
through a broken voice
but in each dream she couldn't move
she would if it were her choice

she just sat and pictured him alone
where she should be by his side
over and over letting him down
her presence she did not provide

s.s

I'm afraid to kiss you
to lock our lips
and taste you.
I'm afraid that I will love you
and then you will leave
like most men do.
I'm afraid it won't be enough
to make you stay
and that desire you've always had
will finally go away.
I'm afraid of the damage
you will do to me
before I finally
let you go.