I don't know how it all first started

All I knew was you came like the sun in rainy days

Joyful, warm, delightful

But I was too in love with the rain

Even when you shined brightly


But you didn't give it all up

You stayed

You were always there, when I locked myself in the dark

What a senseless silly girl, I was

What an ignorant person I was


I never knew that stranger could make me smile this wide again

I never knew that stranger could make me laugh this much

I never knew that stranger could make me feel loved

I never knew that...

I would fell for that person who was a stranger to me


I once told myself

I promised myself not to involve your feeling into anyone or anything

But I guess I'm just fooling myself as the clock ticking

The more we talked, the deeper I fell for you

I couldn't help myself but to let myself fell

Hoping you would catch me


But, again, I forgot that someone said that falling is hurt

But I'm loving every minute of it

I enjoyed every pieces of my heart that had been shattered

Hoping that you would heal me



But, expectation is a cruel *******

You never get what you want

It only leads you to another brokenheart

So I stay here, with every pieces left, trying to build walls

And go back to my old self

memories can repeat,
like a catchy song on the radio.
stuck in your head,
missing some verses,
but the chorus is strong.

whiskey can help,
just for a bit.
Hoping it passes,
and biting my lip.

I guess I'll wait.

Why do I stay inside all day?
The sun don’t feel the same

This sadness is ...
Part of me, I’ve never known life without it
Keeping me under, deep away from the light
A beating to my skull,
I will never be good enough

Some days are manageable,
I quiet the hate in my mind and go about my day
These days could not be worse, I cannot move
I sit alone, afraid of how others will deal with my burden
failure, rude, not putting myself out there
Just a few names they pin to me

During the days I can let myself breath,
I think maybe
just maybe
I’ve broken from the grasp
I will be able to live freely
It’s a short lived high.

But I know I’ll never be right
It’s so hard to live
But they told me it only gets better

But the sun still doesn’t feel the same from inside.

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips