I woke up this morning
Thinking I’ll put u away from my thoughts
Think of brighter things
And work my way out

I tried to escape thinking about you
And bang! your picture flashed into my mind
All I could see was your smiling eyes
Teasing me asking me “How was I?”

How can I be?  How should I be?
Now that you’ve invaded my soul
My tears have gone dry
and there is no more of me left to cry

I thought I was strong
I thought I could stand my ground
But your smile made small of my defenses
Broke down the walls of my pretenses

You wanted me to lower my guard
Bare my heart and connect with your soul
I did and see now what’s left
Not a shred of hope you've bestowed

Ran away like the first flight
My word scared you out of your mind
You turned and blamed me for your plight
Said I was weird and irrational at worst
When all that was happening was making me loose control

I did not want to tell you how I felt
Knew you’d never understand
You’d not expect me to feel like this
Kept getting defensive and more
Up to a point I could take no more

Your words kept raining down a storm
Swirling and tossing me on a high shores.
Drowning me in my ocean of tears
Then I decided to stop
Refuse to let you hold my heart ransom anymore

I surrender to what you want to think of me
I am just a game you wanted to play
You win, I lose! that’s how it was meant to be.

I cannot change anything
I cannot want you back
But keeping you sheltered and locked in my heart
Is the only place where you cannot depart!

You’ll never be as young.
Your skin will not be as bright,
Hands will not stay steady,
Black hair will become white.

But, your wide smile will
still embrace the world.
Wise mind full of memories
And a heart made of gold.

you're going out tonight
i prefer to stay in
you say you wish i was there
in your bed, my naked skin
conversations, drinks and laughter
not with me, but shared
i hope you remember my laugh
as your fingers run through her hair