to my imaginary lover,
I wish you were here,
cuddling me,
together cozily in the warm
blankets,
with my hands in your
pockets,
so you can chase away
the iciness from my fingers.
but there's no way
that could happen, hmm?
you're just imaginary,
after all.
a figment of my
imagination.

everyone is saying
I look so sad
these days
but the thing is
I don't know
how to look happy.
my eyes just look
expressionless,
filled to the brim with exhaustion.
so please don't
say
"c'mon, look happier."
because I want to
but I can't.

it's my birthday today
another year of drowning
myself in sorrow
and frowning
every morning
kinda feeling proud
that I survived another year
and still haven't landed
in the clouds
above.
<3

i wanna sleep so badly
after barely sleeping for days
it's as if my sanity is sadly
running away from me

can barely open my eyes now
and i feel like my brain's gonna melt
but i'm not scowling
like i did when i was wide awake though.

it's as if something's possessed me,
made me go a bit insane with a smile.

it's been two years-
since i've crushed on you,
since you've become one of my biggest fears
and how my heart flutters
at the sight of you walking by.
each scroll on social media
makes me sigh
because i'm ******* hopeless
when it comes to you.

i cried till
my eyes were swollen
today, and still-
tears are drippin'

wonder how to
stop them from forming
wonder if feeling numb
will stop my emotions from storming

whatever i do
will always waste my life away
at least that's what you say.
i guess you managed to sway
me onto your side.
because i'm not doing anything i want
to do at this point.
you've made me use another font
to write my life
instead of the messy handwriting
that i'm supposed to use