She loves deep
Hates even deeper
Rejection is near
And scares her
A last resort
She's desperately in need
Of something to lift her up
Stop the chance that she'll bleed
It's a scary life she leads
She runs, she pushes and she cries
It's more than she can handle
But she continuously tries
She asks herself these questions
How does she survive?
How does she fake the lies?
What could she possibly do
To hide her truth in disguise?
There is no where left to run
Her fears are all coming true
She knows her life is coming undone
There's nothing left she can do
The life she had is finally through

The truth is bleeding out of my pores
And yet the feelings are all bottled up inside
I fall out of my skin, disappearing out the back door
Losing my mind, struggling to find the best place to hide
Running laps around the sounds of my own screams
Trying to decide which dreams I should or should not believe
Thinking that my life is no more than it seems
And these struggles I have are sent by the devil to deceive
It works; the lies, the hate, the pain that I'm put through
It makes me break down and I get scared of the truth
But the suicidal thoughts in my mind all lead back to you
And the tears that stream down my cheeks burn like a fire
That's bigger than all the flames of rage from my youth
It hurts; it builds in my soul before it pours out my eyes
Becoming rivers that flood my life with disguises and lies
I don't know how to make it all fade away, to disappear
Because it's more than I can handle and I hate to admit it
But it fuels my spirit and awakens all my childhood fears
Chilling me to my core, causing me to give up, simply quit
How do I do that? How do I commit myself to suicide?
Is that what I really want? Is that truly what I need?
Do I believe that my life is only my choice to decide?
And if I hide in the corners of my mind, will I still bleed?
These are the things I ask myself every morning when I wake up
As I stare at all the sugar settled at the bottom of my coffee cup
Then the caffeine hits me and I finally start to think clearly
What was I thinking? There is no way in hell I'll ever give up

I don't know
   If we're supposed to float along
        On a gentle breeze
     Or on a rolling ocean
With our minds at ease
         Or if it's a little bit of both
    And you just gotta believe

But I do know one thing
  Whichever way that you choose
          Life is never very easy
  But when happiness is on the line
     You have **nothing to lose

Poetry is art
      Poetry is visual

Poets can see the words

The way a play write
Can see the actors on stage
       with every line he writes

The way a musician
Can see the notes dance on air
       with every key she plays

The way a sculptor
Can see the final sculpture
       with every cut of their knife

The way a painter
Can see the waves of the ocean
        with every stroke of blue
                  on a blank canvas

Poetry is visual
      Poetry is art
            Poets are artists
       They write **from the heart

I dont care about signing the divorce,
I've already told you that.
All I want is my kids,
more than just a few measly weekends,
I want them to not call her mommy,
I want my kids to learn from me,
I want my kids to know that I love them,
I want my kids to not be used as pawns
in your battle to hurt me.
I want my kids to not get hurt by this war
that you are starting with your arrogance
and inflated ego,
I want my kids to not be emotionally abused by you.
**I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE THEIR MOTHER