If he said it was right
to wake in the morning & wish to go back to bed.
To be so full of life,
then so full of these feelings for whom I've never met,
only in death,
I'm not sure if they were even a person yet. They must've been; I created it.
It was half of me and half of him, & I think I wanted it.
I've labored a shrivel of death,
far too many times to try to forget.
Back and forth in my head.
Do I regret it?
If you never let it take a breath,
then why is it dead?
That's what he said.

The slickness of a blade
pressing against a throat....
the cold steel meeting tender flesh
blood drips and a body tumbles

the taste.... the sight... the sound....
all quite euphoric.....

Ripped clothes, smashed items,
echo screams, and the raging fires that glow throughout the night

The beauty.... the savagery.... the destruction
all quite euphoric....

When I had two arms, I had ***.
When I had money, I had friends.
When I had two arms, I got invited out.
When I gave a performance, I had fans.
When I had two arms, I had careers.
When I had drugs, I had power.
When I had two arms, I could use a computer.
When I had something to steal, I had company.
When I had two arms, I got flirted with.
When I give free rides, I have passengers.
When I had two arms, men and women wanted to date me.
When I had fancy things, I was impressive.
When I had two arms, I had friends.

Afraid of the rifle fire, he had

Crouched all day in the dirt,

A dull fellow at the best of times.

Ricocheting bullets bolted to the air

Surfing the wind, screaming

Abuse like ill-disciplined relatives

Arriving for an impromptu visit.

One shattered his head-there it was,

There were its remnants-

Greasy insubstantial grey matter that

Contained his soul.  

An end to drinks in the pub

The love of his wife

The smiles of his children

Holidays in Benidorm with the In-Laws

Paella by the swimming pool.

One bullet, not even new, put an end to a contented life.

Look at me now
Rising from the ground
Taking everything with me
No regrets
No remorse
No shame
What didn't **** me
It sure made me stronger
But it left some cracks
All of them are apart of me
Of who I am today
Scars of a battle that I've won
Medals that I carry with pride
Because if it wasn't for the past
I would never been this brave
Now I've regenerated from the ashes
My inner light shinning brighter than ever before
I've been reborn

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever.

Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. There are days when I can hear my bones straining under the weight of despair, this madness that erupts like an earthquake when I feel you lost. This heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until there are none. It is a mortal danger, perhaps not to life in a strict sense but mortal still, for I know very well my soul would harden and never be the same if I lose you.

But think not for a minute this is despair's babble, even in my seldom moments of calm and lucidness and peace I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than ever mine or someone else's. I want to deserve you, for I have to love you E, I have to love you. It matters not this wound that burns like two, it matters not that I search for you and I do not find you, even as the nights go by and I do not have you.

Can’t sleep
           not even a wink
                   you could say I’m restless.
No air in my lungs
                       i’m left here gasping
                                               you could say I’m breathless.

The water in my eyes
                               done dried up
                                                     no more time for tears.
After a while I was numb to it all
                                                      so I got no
                                                                ­     hopes or fears.

My heart tore from my hollow chest
                                                       so I ain’t got none
                                                                ­               left for giving.
The good part is that
                                   you can’t die
                                                 if you were never really living.

Days like this
With the rain pouring non stop
With the clouds hiding the bright sun
Filling the mood of the day with such sorrow
These are the kind of days
That make me think
About who I've become
Who i was
And how I can get better

People always fail to tell those in need
That things dont get better
But that they will always get better

Nothing is forever
Not even the blissful memories you have last forever

One day that one person you were so head over heels for will be a simple memory of a first love

One day
You'll regret giving yourself to that freshman year crush of yours

One day
You'll look back to everything you accomplished

And realize you made it through all the rough patches In your life