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I've stumbled upon the pristine song
the song that narrates what occurred to you

it is a shame that the lack of courage you had
to explain things to me was replaced
by nights of self doubt and questioning
a maze with no end because I
myself
didn't even know what the exit was supposed to ensemble

Apparently, it didn't have an appearance but a melody
A song gave me closure after months of distress
all the jointed to form the apology
that I wasn't worthy of by your lame standards

I hope that in the near future you collect
particles of bravery to tell people around you
how you feel instead of blaming them for your torment

-JB
The only apology I received was so hollow, I couldn't hear the fall of my spit.
The darkness is taking over me
eradicating herself within the valley of my being
slowly burning away the garden
my guardians cared for centuries

Nights are getting insufferably longer
more so when there's no starry sky
Clouds are accumulating all around
as ivy thoughts that drown the grace within

Do I stand to all
facing the adversity
me, myself, I have harbored

Even if that means looking at a mirror
Embracing the thought of me becoming
my own worst fear

If doing that means flowers will blossom again
Bring the black mirror
and along, my golden hammer
for I will tear this witch down
even if it means wrenching my soul away
As the negative thoughts attempt to mingle in the valley of my soul
When the value of what
You might add in a conversation
Is the same of that of a dying sorrow
Share it with the lamenters and the widows
For the ones with our heads onward and ahead
Have little time for a useless need in our heads

Useless ****** are abundance in this world
But dears, the only things
that look good doing nothing are statues
And your looks would pass ignored by the greeks, french, romans, and even the barbarians

Please, do mind me, this is the simplest insult
For the ones that prefer to glue their *****
Watching life passing​ by and the world spinning through
If there's so little you can do
Why don't you do us a favor and fly off
Today I tried to remain as Zen as possible, but you know when you get home and all your barriers melt down and that ball of infuriating fire is still lighting but because of the exhaustion it looked as if it were running out the gas and what remained was the ashes that crept into my mind threatening to evolve into a migraine, well you do? I felt exactly that.

As the fierce soldier I am, I haggled off this reality with that of my subconscious and adventure myself in the depths of dreams. What a journey, I dreamt with verboten love and with abuse, cliffs and heights. What I can highlight and what bedazzled me the most was a peculiar scene: I was in front of a pizzeria and the family in charge was in the middle of a severe argument. The father was holding forcibly the wrists of the mother, this one cried and implored him to stop, while their kids cried and shrieked. In the outlook of my dream I had the pleasure of having subtitles! How crazy is that! the family was talking an indigenous language and I could read what they were talking. Thing was my mother got in the middle of the argument and asked for the kids to take them, as in being their savior. I red that the little baby was in the "highest mountain", the father kept repeating that they were obliged to go there. I decipher it as the highest room in the tall building. Upon arriving no kid was there and despair started consuming me and just THEN my mother woke me up.
Lie number one
She saw you first
I saw you first
I admired all your brilliance first
Buried the sentiment deep within
Along with any sympathy towards you
In order to devour the whole of your company
Without any regret, holding back my breath

Lie number two
I hate your goofiness
There's nothing that takes me faster to the moon
That your innocence and your pathetically bad jokes
Your smile is the contradiction of nonsenses
and fierce ideologies that find home at the back of my mind

Lie number three
You are an idiot
Maths and arguments are your playground
In the swings we go back and forth
Even when I tell you are wrong
You will always be Sir right
Rolling down the road we go
Difference being the ways we take
You roll with her
And I feel nothing but abandoned

Lie number four
I love to intimidate you
Call it cliche but in mocking you
I find the comfort of living within you
You'll never forget the bully that I am to you
When you were to reach your golden era
You'll go back to these years
And perhaps you'll see the irony in all of my doings

Lie number five
You are a blissful couple
The heavens know how much I've degenerate
All the events of your relationship
The way she handles you
Is a mockery to my face
You don't deserve it but you own it
As if everything that she gives to you
Were nothing less than treasures and gold

Her hostility is anonymous to my wishes
A few nights I've imagined filling her place
I've imagined your attentive gaze making love to my features
I've imagined your hands caressing timidly my own
I've imagined me being your number one fan
But the only place in the stadium of your heart
is already fill by her profane soul
So I think I've fallen in love, scratch that,  I am falling in love, I am not quite there, with someone I "shouldn't". It is strange because in some way I am forcing myself to love someone I know it would be best not to love. Isn't that confusing? That us human like to put burdens on ourselves just because.
When i listen to you
I feel  as if I were lending my ears to someone else
Someone who wants to listen to your stories
Someone who is not me
Someone's place I'm trying to fill

When I talk to you
Words seem more complex than Pascal
Deciphering what to say becomes a paradox
Do I shamelessly arrange my cards in the box
Or do I pass the turn to another personality
Reuniting time to form the perfect reasoning

When I see your cherry lips
There's no contradictions
To what I'll will taste
Nothing but what she left
Your saliva, her saliva, and mine
Colliding creating the perfect test
What will be my answer
Do I ignore her manner in you
Or do I make you spit
Until everything of hers cease to exist
written for the boy who loves my ex-friend and who I am trying to.
Ego when bruised
Walks with a limp
Its eyes watery
Shamefaced, gait wobbly
It can easily be knocked of
It’s feet, as its legs suddenly
Appear spindly, malnourished
I guess starved of necessary fiber
And nutrition. I wonder if it’s got a spine
No wonder all it does is whine
When splashed with hot water.
Methinks, for one’s step not to falter
One ought to on the altar
Of one’s well-being slaughter
In cold blood the monstrosity that’s the ego.
#justsaying
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