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Oct 2017 · 280
The lying game
Jules Oct 2017
there aren't enough words in the universe to explain
All the anger frustration and pain
I feel towards you
I want to scream cry and punch a wall
If it means I won't fall
Ever again for someone like you
Don't try to come back
And build up a fallen stack
Of trust that will never be regained
Under my breath I curse your name
For involving myself in your game
But I can't be called a fool for something I never saw coming
Jul 2017 · 609
Hurt
Jules Jul 2017
You love being hurt
Because that's all you know

When things are really good
That's when you decide to go

You mess everything up
Before it messes you up

All you know is broken
So that's all you want

I see these very things
Because they're hard to hide

I see them because I too
Need hurt to feel alive
Jul 2017 · 444
Pain of the Heart
Jules Jul 2017
I've never felt a pain so sharp
It makes breathing
Sleeping
Eating
The hardest part
To have someone make you believe
That you are worth more to them
Then you actually are
Swallowing the smoke
That builds a thick layer of tar
As I take one more drag of this cigarette
Close my eyes and try to forget
I picture the image clear as day
Of two bodies close together
One yours and the other which is not me
No way
Pain of the heart
Is the hardest part
Jul 2017 · 374
Not Home
Jules Jul 2017
Hate the smell
Hate the taste
Hate that thoughts are easily erased
Can't change that fact
So I'll leave
I won't look back
Find a new place to call my own
A new place that'll be my home
Jun 2017 · 556
You
Jules Jun 2017
You
Fingers in your hair
This can't be real
You're here
It can't be real
You're in my bed
Feelings light in my head
Skin cells saying hello
Those brown eyes won't let go
Of mine
Want to play this back
Again again in my mind
This can't be real
You're here
It is real
Jun 2017 · 525
Innocence
Jules Jun 2017
They say what a pretty mess
It's almost as if she's lost her head
Two weeks ago there's was less
Left of all the brokenness
Now here she sits
With her two hands in fists
Holdin on to something
Something so distant

The innocence is gone
Somewhere everything went wrong
Floating away in song
She dreams of a place where she belongs
Jun 2017 · 353
Already Dead
Jules Jun 2017
When I die
Lay me in a field of poppies
All I want is to feel whole
With the flower that made me feel alive
Even when I was already dead
Jun 2017 · 346
Lost
Jules Jun 2017
Lost in my head
Lost in the shadow of life
Can't come out
Can't find what's right
I'm slowly wilting my petals dying
When I want to bloom effortlessly like a flower
Become who I should be what I've always dreamed
Become indulged always in the present hour
Feel proud of what I do and finally content
Be proud of myself
Instead of longing for what is already long gone
Looking like a still porcelain doll on her shelf
How's it that everyone is moving with the commotion
While I'm as cold and as full as the ocean
After a storm with the waves now calm
I remain small enough to fit in a child's palm

— The End —