some days i am so sad
i feel like i could throw up.
i imagine it's all the words I've swallowed
trying to climb out of me.
on days like this,
i think about all the times people have told me
i deserve to be happy.
and for some reason,
i cannot stop crying.
on days like this,
i find myself unable to get out of bed.
on days like this,
i think to myself,
"there are no good days,
only days like this."
sometimes i can't seem to shake the feeling
that everyone's out to get me.
and suddenly,
people start to smile brighter
when i'm not around.
i know what i must do.

on days like this,
i wish i could just cut this sadness out of me.


abandon ship
j.c.

my body is but a canvas
for my blades to construct upon

People always say they wish they couldn't feel.
Apparently pain is worse than nothing.

My coping mechanism would beg to differ.

I draw with silver 'till it turns red
Not on surface, but in depth
I draw in time, in life, in motion
I draw in pain and create art

I drag the blade across my jagged skin
My breath is heavy and cold
Tears pour down my face as cutting never gets old
A lot is pouring out
I hate this addiction, it needs to stop now
But it can't, I can't
I cut to feel something, I hate feeling numb
It only helps for a second

she couldn't stop.
it was addicting,
seeing the blood flow from her wrists.

she loved the pain,
although she didnt know why.

he broke her heart,
but she liked the way it felt.

she was addicted,
addicted to pain.

You’ll never know what’s going on inside my brain
I’m not that girl anymore
Who writes poems from the inside to match new scars on the outside
And you’re lucky
You’ll never wake up to a new post about my ****-ups
Or get a call begging you to stop them from happening
I’m not that girl anymore
I wasted that on the wrong person
I gave up
And you’re lucky