my first kiss was in a skating rink
with an older boy I barely knew
and my inexperienced tongue
being used to learn a new language.
his kiss made me realize that I might not
be all that straight.
I wasn't ready yet.

my second kiss was in a bathroom at school
my freshman year.
she looked at me as I nervously tried to
kiss her. I wanted it to be perfect, but
I wasn't sure how to do it correctly,
so she stopped me and guided me.
I fell in love with her then.

my third kiss was full of lust.
she and I were both sad for different reasons
and we couldn't stop ourselves.
I was too depressed to care and
God only knows what she wanted to
stop thinking about.
"terrible timing," she said.
I agreed.

my fourth kiss was a boy in a game.
his hands touched all over and I thought
I enjoyed it.
I was wrong.

my fifth kiss was with a girl whom I had been
waiting to kiss for several years.
I snuck her into my house and we talked till
everything went silent and
I knew it was finally time for our
lips to meet.
her lips were soft, and I never properly
thanked her for that kiss.
I was happy.

my sixth kiss was with a boy who stole my heart.
It was on accident, of course.
Not the kiss though, that was completely on purpose.
We technically had two first kisses, I suppose.
The first was in his house and we had
gone upstairs to look at his collection of movies
and then he said something dorky and I said,
"Oh shut up!" And he said, "Make me."
So I did, and I looked at him and I slowly made my
way towards his lips and when our lips met
I had felt something that I had never felt before.
Our second first kiss was in the rain on
the lakefront later that day and
I can't even begin to describe how
kissing him felt in that moment.
It was absolutely beautiful.
He was beautiful.
I was beautiful.
I just wish he'd give me my heart back now,
I miss him and
I am in pain.

To all the people I've kissed before,
I am so sorry.

I fell in love with the mornings
and waking up to breakfasts in bed
drinking coffee only you would know how to make

I fell in love with noon
and the lunches we had together
talking about the latest news over takeout

I fell in love with the afternoons
and the times we spent reading on the couch
eating every word interrupted by coffee stains

I fell in love with the nights
and our stupid little adventures
driving aimlessly and getting lost on the highway

I fell in love with the midnights
and talking to you about anything and everything
watching you stare at my mouth listening to every word

I fell in love with the moments
and everything in between the beginning and the end
wishing I could still spend them with you

I fell in love with the sound of your voice
and the feel of your existence
but I am not in love with you.

The other day my sister lamented that she did not look like one of those white, blonde, blue-eyed beauties on television.
This struck me for a number of reasons mainly for the fact that we are Indian girls who are neither white, blonde nor blue-eyed and it is physically impossible for us to be like that because it's coded into our genes.
Why then did my sister want to be so much like these beauties that she could never look like.
Why then did my sister want to change herself so much, change they very coding in her genes, change the very fabric of her body?
I was not able to respond to her at the time but this is my response to her.
Society's standards of beauty were created by entrepreneurs looking to make a quick buck.
They market such celebrities as beautiful and, through subliminal messages tell you that if you do not look like them, you are ugly and not worthy.
And it is so easy for them to do this because of the Westernisation of cultures all over the world.
Go to any supermarket and the first things yo will see under the beauty section are bleaching and whitening creams.
It is true that these white, blonde, blue-eyed beauties are stunning, gorgeous.
But why should their beauty mean that you aren't beautiful?
You are the culmination of years of evolution,
the stars have been planning your arrival.
Look at yourself in the mirror,
Stare into the dark brown irises of your eyes and understand that they are like pools of chocolate, understand that they are the colour of the bark of the tress understand that they are beautiful.
Caress your brown hair, run your fingers through it, you are beautiful.
Look at your caramel-coloured skin, don't you just love the colour? It's deep and sweet and beautiful.
Your body, the vessel of your soul in beautiful and every step you take is magical and your voice sounds like a bow playing perfectly on a violin and your laugh ringing out sounds like wind chimes in a light breeze.
Don't you understand?
You are a ******* masterpiece.
Don't treat yourself any less.

You're driving me insane,
I'm no longer the same.
I can't keep living like this,
My whole life is at risk.
Dear sweet sister,
Stop the torture.
Stop hurting me,
I didn't do anything.
You snap at my questions,
You cause stress and tensions.
I go into a fit of emotion,
Going along it's roller-coasting motions.
I want to stop the fights,
I want to live my own life.
You take my money and things,
All I say is nothing.
When I complained for change,
You blame me for your misery and rage.
I didn't ask to be born,
Yet I still receive your scorn.
You said I made you suffer,
Am I not your sister?
You take my money using the excuse that you paid for me,
Am I not your family?
I take care of your son,
I don't complain, we have fun.
You use him as a weapon against me,
Can't you see he's just a baby?
I don't ask for my stuff back,
Yet all I receive is your attack.
I'm not the person you paint me out to be,
I never caused you any bad deeds.
Leave me be,
You're not a stranger, you're family.
Stop taking my money and things,
Stop trying to ruin my future and everything.
Wake up and realize the problem is you,
And stop torturing me because I'm through.

We live in a world
where sadness is the norm

We live in a world
where we romanticize the mentally ill

We live in a world
where we tell someone to save themselves
but tell ourselves the opposite

We live in a world
where we preach to others
how great life is
until we go home
and live it for ourselves

We live in a world
full of hypocrites
and inconsiderates

Why, just why, must we live in such a world?

You can feel the tears pooling at the rim of your eyes they say that the eyes are the windows to your soul and my soul is over flowing and it spilling out for everyone to see my raw emotions for you to dissect and make assumptions and nod your head in fake understanding you can never begin to understand my soul and you never will my body is a vessel and my soul fills it to the brim a small trigger sends ripples down my spine and it sends my soul pouring over the edge escaping though any means; tears flowing down my cheeks a lump of emotions forming in the centre of my throat that I cannot stop i feel it rising and rising and finally it escapes as steam would from a kettle as a scream and i bring my hands to my face and my knees buckle under the weight of my overflowing soul and I lose the will to fight it i just let it flow until I am weak and tired and then  with red eyes raw from the weight of the emotions that came pouring from them and a ****** throat i stand up and grab a tissue fake a smile and wipe those tears away clear my throat drink some water smile again it's fine i'm fine no big deal shhh everything is normal i push myself further back into myself and i can feel the pressure start to build again like a ticking time bomb counting down to the next time i lose control and let my soul overflow

Dark nails for a dark soul
Loud music for a loud home
Rough blood for a rough touch
Abandoned children feeling unloved

Innocence for a lack-thereof
Earthly bounds being set above

I was looking through my friend's account and reading the poems she wrote almost two years ago when we were both younger and full of passion and excitement and a hunger to take more from the world. To gulp down whatever the world could offer. I experience so many things. We were so full of like then. So happy. Two years down the road and I down care anymore. I just don't care. About school, about life, about learning. I don't want to be forced to learn things that I do not want to learn. I do not care about my exam results. What will it matter when I will die anyway? Life is so fragile that I may even die just after taking my national exams(which are extremely soon.) Then my slaving over books for hours a day would b]have been for naught. My last days of my life would be filled with stress. I just want to enjoy life. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I have to be rich and to be rich, more likely than not, I have to have a good job which would thus require excellent academic results.

optimist - acrostic

Open up the book
Page one, neutralize your thoughts
Turn the page
Induct elation
Make your temperament positive
Idealism
See the prism of sanguinity
Turn the page

============================================

aqua - acrostic

Arid soul washed away
Quietly sinking down
Underneath the waves to stay
Awakening as i drown

========================================

flaw - acrostic

Forget about the way we see
Looking past the shallow grey
Awaken to a deeper degree
We are all beautiful in our own way

=========================================

harm - acrostic

Hurt me, the pain will go away
All anguish is fleeting
Remnants of your words might stay
My heart will go on beating

====================================

wolf pack - acrostic

Wild and free, nature's breed
Out of bounds of any containment
Living off of only what they need
Flourishing in sustainment

Prowling the forests and grass
Attacking only what they eat
Canids from our distant past
Killing only to replete

(i know i didn't use the word sustainment correctly here, but it rhymes)
==================================

jugs - acrostic poem

Jiggle and bounce for me
Underneath a cotton top
Gives me such satisfaction
Seeing them flip and flop

=================================

sympathy and attention - pity party poetry page

with an affinity for sympathy and attention
pity without empathy ends up as an affliction
sitting all alone having fits not fit to mention
depicting his own addiction to his self infliction

distemper words, written with intention
listless visions are a picture of his fiction
his existence isn't gifted within this dimension
it's a senseless decision to befit a contradiction

==================================================­====

discretion

if deception is a threat, i guess it begs the question
does perception get better with less discretion?
can a gesture of conception be answered best with ingestion
by letting down our guards will we fester in suppression?

changing our direction away from our debts of reception
pressed by our expression of protested progression
best bets are guessed and when we collect we learn a lesson
back to the question, is perception better with less discretion?

====================================

rhyme without reason

what is a rhyme without a reason?
it's no feat to beat the drum of no cohesion
it's like planting seeds that aren't in season
or a disease that leaves a bleeding lesion

a decent poet is adept at seeing adhesion
leaving the meaning amounts to being treason
completely missing pieces for completion
not even worth reading, only worth deletion

========================================

everlasting (4 versions)

though i have ran with the rats of cancer
as i craft the ladder to the final chapter
i never planned for crass disaster
abashed by the lasting factor

where the past is passing faster
i ask the lord and await his answer
are my chances granted to live hereafter
i clasp the hand of the everlasting master

---------------------------------------------------------­-

abashed by the lasting factor
i never planned for crass disaster
as i craft the ladder to the final chapter
though i have ran with the rats of cancer

i clasp the hand of the everlasting master
are my chances granted to live hereafter
i ask the lord and await his answer
where the past is passing faster

---------------------------------------------------------­---

abashed by the lasting factor
i never planned for crass disaster
as i craft the ladder to the final chapter
though i have ran with the rats of cancer

where the past is passing faster
i ask the lord and await his answer
are my chances granted to live hereafter
i clasp the hand of the everlasting master

---------------------------------------------------------­-------

(you can also do one of these)

where the past is passing faster
i ask the lord and await his answer
are my chances granted to live hereafter
i clasp the hand of the everlasting master
i clasp the hand of the everlasting master
are my chances granted to live hereafter
i ask the lord and await his answer
where the past is passing faster

So much pressure and so confused,
Never fully knowing what I want to do.
I struggle with this and everything,
Carrying the weight of my whole family.
I never know,
Emotions never show.
I gotta remain strong,
I gotta hold on.

Weight upon me,
Weight killing me.
Can I ever be set free?
Will anyone ever notice me?

I alway got the world judging me,
I've always been the loner, quiet one, a freak.
Everytime I got close, I only get hurt,
So much that it doesn't matter anymore.
I always gotta hold my tears,
I always have to swallow my fears.
I gotta always stay strong,
Why does it feel so wrong?

Weight upon me,
Weight killing me.
Can I ever be set free?
Will anyone ever notice me?

And I try so hard to hold it all,
I know one of these days, I'm gonna fall.
I want to run, I want to scream,
I always want to be free.
Yet I know that it won't happen,
It's a cruel fate, a sad one.
I have to stay strong,
Even if it feels so wrong.
I gotta be....
I gotta be free!

Weight upon me,
Weight killing me.
Can I ever be set free?
Will anyone ever notice me?

Weight upon me,
Weight killing me.
Can I ever be set free?
Will anyone ever notice me?