Queen of illusion
Directs your curious gaze
To the looking glass

My current disposition is one of constant instability
An ever changing transfixion
A standstill metamorphosis
An unending sense of finality

How becoming of a lady
Teeming with life
Yet fixated on death

I am so tired
Of staring listlessly at clock faces
Waiting to be hypnotized
Mesmerized into a lucid state of mind
To pass the time

I'm wasting today to fuel tomorrow
Running low on time borrowed,
Too little sleep,
And haphazard to-do lists
I can't seem to complete

I'd dream big but dreams are misleading
Fleeting scenes that keep repeating
One destroys
The other spares
What are daydreams to nightmares

As this hole inside me grows
It swallows, blackens, deepens, numbs
Yet somehow remains the only thing
Left to comfort me

My hand in my own hand
I stand on these two calloused feet
Worn from the countless times
I have walked alone

No one is there to wipe my tears
Or whisper sweet ramblings of comfort
The echoes of their empathy
Vanish within the depths

This pit unnerves and dampens
Each time I think I've grown stronger
I only dig and descend deeper
Into singularity

I want to be enveloped by the silence that darkness solicits
For the dimming acts as a finger upon the lips
To quiet and linger in the space
Between what is and what isn't

Mother Earth inhales
Fills her lungs with slumbered sun
Exhales blossomed life

"Happy Father's Day" is just another sentiment I've never bestowed in sincerity
To an absentee father who made me another statistic filed under "addict parents"
Carve another tick under the "single mothers" column
Can you tell which one is mine?

No child support
No birthday gifts
No Kodak moments
But plenty of drunken voicemails saying how you wish we were closer
To guilt me for the miles of repressed anger I placed between us

I will not bridge that gap nor forge a path between you and I
Because some bridges were meant to burn
And some hells were meant to freeze over