it isn't until you let go
that you notice the blood
dropping from your palms
it isn't until you look down
that you notice how close
you are to the bottom
it isn't until I distanced myself
that I realized you were
slowly killing me

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
No amount of liquor I consume
Could ever be as intoxicating as you
Then as I lie alone in bed
With tears as my only company
I try to hate the fact that I loved you
The fabric conditioner I use
Has long since erased your cologne
And I'm grateful of that, I think.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
But I still have another bottle.

He drew a figure eight on my spine, absentmindedly,
and traced the nape of my neck with his fingertip when he said,
“You are beautiful to me.”

But the ellipsis in the silence spoke louder than he did, and the look in his eye was not born because I was lovely;
It was not because he loved me.

A thing too small for love-
But far too large to be lust;

Simple. Ugly.

He looked at me like he was hungry.

So sweetly he critiqued each curve, every line, blurring my edges with the images of every bent perception pulled from the mire of his mind;

and I
could not
satisfy


Pretty innocence diminished in the grip of his vice,
Pressed tight against my body, despised in dark eyes.
I am not the inhuman creatures you contrived in the middle of the night.
I am not the feminine expression of your ******* pride.

What a wicked crime,
to take a woman’s body and leave the woman behind.

i pray to god that the memories of me
stick in your mind like honey on a spoon
i hope my laughter haunts you
like the ghost in your apartment
i hope my name burns in the back of your throat
like all the liquor you'll drown yourself in
in memory of me

i know you feel so lost without me
but god, i've never felt so free