The things you don't realize
when your hearts separate
forever and you never speak
to one another ever again.

The sky is still the same
shade of blue as last February
when we kissed in your apartment,
teasing our fingers in each other's
hair, while your roommate
listened to us on the other
side of the door.

That tiny place still exists in
Boston where you left it,
even though your heart is
now in Seattle with some
new girl you just met.

I mean, I hope you're happy
wherever you are now.
With whomever you're with,
and doing what, or whom
you love so dearly.

I'm no longer the burden
that worsened your heavy mind.
I just wish you'd realize that
my heart never left your
tiny studio apartment on
the outskirts of the city.

Chisel me away
I've given you the hammer and all my weak points
So you start
With little strength starting with all my ligaments and joints
You don't tear them
Very precise and careful like you know exact what you're doing
I should've learned from the past
Even though everyone tells and teaches not to take it with you
How can i forget when its in repetition and tied to the strings on my shoes
I have adapted to the hurt
Or lack there of
The sight of you doesn't make me sick anymore
Just an itch in the back of my throat that i still can't stand
You didn't rip out my heart or make me question who i am
You just simply made me feel like i wasn't worth it
Or anything at all
Dirt beneath your feet
I've dug through every inch of my body and ripped out your disease
Burned the bridge that connected our hearts and minds
I hope you do the same
As methodically and perfect as me
Because when you're digging through old love notes i don't want you to feel a thing when you find
Any residue of my feelings
Because they were a mistake
A mistake not so grave
You weren't the best or the worst
Just somewhere in the middle
Very forgettable
In all you're insecure self loathing beauty
You know my nature and all i stand for
A deliberate betrayel that i seen from a mile away
The itch is gone
And so are you

I determine to die loved.
Even if it is only
by myself.

You send me the signals that we're over, we're through. But why do you keep coming back if that's true? You ask for my forgiveness time and time again but I'm sick of giving it to you, not anymore will I. Your confusion is rubbing off on me, just because you're unsure doesn't mean I have to be as well. I know you don't want me, I get it, there's no need to make me feel like **** as well. I'm done with you, like you are I, now can we drop these petty games and part our ways?

I want to push you against that wall we spoke by and take off your crooked glasses and tell you that I’m the one

and if you say you don’t believe me, I’ll kiss you so deep that you’ll forget what I even said.

I want to touch that beautiful blonde hair and tell you how it looks jarringly familiar messy, but it would look even better on my pillow at night.

I want your mornings and your nights, but I need those crazy moments where the passion hits again and we can remember why we touch each other in the first place.

I don’t want everything, that’s far too much to ask for. I just need everything that you are willing to give.

I’m tragically in love with the idea of you.