I'll never forget the night you slammed the door.
It was the same night you grabbed my face and screamed my name.
I'll never forget that night you drove to my apartment drunk,
then told me later it was a lie.
I'll never forget the night in the park.
The night you screamed at me for getting high,
screamed at me for cheating while high.
The night I found out you went through my phone,
while I slept quietly in your bed, four months ago.

Here we are now.
I'm clean,
except for the occasional *******.
That's my secret.
You're drunk,
more often than I'd like you to be.
So what's your secret?

So do I slam doors?
Should I grab your face and scream your name?
Do I take you to the park in the middle of the night?

Unfortunately, no.
I'm the only one who makes mistakes here.

I think about your bare skin,
carresed by the sheets.
I think about your touch,
is it rough? Is it kind?
I think about how you sleep at night,
with someone in your bed.
Do you bite the lip of the person kissing you?
Did their breathing change?
How does your hair smell?
Maybe it smells like rain.

Thoughts of you haunt.
Thoughts of you touching the person I love.

What you ruined,
drink with me over it.

I can't.

I'm ****** up.
I'm drunk right now.
Isn't it hilarious?
The last time I was like this was two months ago.
Two months ago when I lost my "best" ******* friend.
Make it stop.
Save me from this stupid thing called love.
I'm incapable of true love.
Is it because of him, her, you, me?
I ask like it matters.
I ask like it ever mattered.
Ha, good one...
******* HOLD ME.
Don't touch me.
Come back to me.
Never leave.
She's gone.
It's my fault too.
Who cares though?
I don't because, well, I'm a ******* mess.
I feel nothing.
Nothing at all.
I don't exist.
I'm not dead.
I'm just nothingness.
I'm nothingness wishing for a drip.
An IV drip.
Drip from the Molly.
The drip from the X.
Numbness from the narcotics.
Kiss me.
Leave me.
I'll rock your world.
Then ask you to go.
I'm saving you.
I promise.

"I wish to engage in many battles of the tongues with you, m'lady."