They said
It wasn't surprising
We all
Knew
She couldn't
Hold on forever
But
We still
Kind of expected
Her to
Because after a
Year
Of rallying
Us thinking
This is it
And her surviving
Making it
To her 90th birthday
We didn't think
It would be now
We thought she had years
Maybe not
Happy
And maybe not
Easy
But years
Still
We thought she
Would be happier
Now that she was not
All alone
But
Then
She got sicker
And we found out
That night
That she was
Gone







* * *








No one cried
At first
We all just stood
Quietly
Wondering
Why
We Knew
She wasn't
Happy
She was in
Pain
She was
Sick
But now
She is gone
I hope
Her pain was
Left here with her
Body
And that she
Is happy
Now
I hope that
She is healthy
That she can walk
With ease
I miss her
But I hope
She is better
Now

They said
It wasn't surprising
We all
Knew
She couldn't
Hold on forever
But still
It was a
Surprise

It was more than a year ago
I admitted you were no good
I tried to let you leave my head
And you did
But all good things must come to an end they say
And one short week was enough
to pull me back
Sorta
I was convinced things were different
We were friends now
Temptation was prevented
by my faithfulness to Someone Else
Until that Someone Else left
and surprise.
You were back.
creeping your way back into my head
monopolizing my thoughts
I tried to remember
You are no good
But every time those six letters
appear on my screen
my heart jumps
a little
So please
Don't talk to me today
if you don't plan on saying Hello
tomorrow

I understand your frustration
With my lack of motivation
And my repetitive procrastination
But you need to realize
I'm only doing what I need to
To survive
Music and books
Keep me alive
Therefore
if you wish to see me
Tomorrow morn
Please leave me be

There was a girl
Quiet like anyone else
As a young child
Her eyes always wide open
In wonder
She was excited for everything
If a flower had grown
It was a miracle
If she discovered a caterpillar
She was as ecstatic
As someone who had found
The cure for cancer
But as she grew
She did not
Lose her sense of wonder
Her eyes remained wide open
To the world around her
While her peers
Complained and mocked
She would celebrate
Every little thing
Any achievement
Anyone made
If she saw an amazing sunset
She would gush about it
For days on end
If she found a bird
Broken
She would strive
To fix it
And if it couldn't be fixed
She would give it
A funeral honouring its life
Her classmates turned on her
And ridiculed her
For her sense of awe
And though it hurt her deeply
She did not change
She did not hate them
As she was left alone
She simply smiled at them
Whenever they walked by
She made it out of high school
With her determination to
See the amazing in everyone
Or thing
As her only companion
She became a well known
Artist
And people talked of her
With admiration
For the way she could capture any moment
And make others she the beauty
In it
The girl kept her wide eyes
And her sense of wonder
Until the day she died

The Fear of the Future
The Phobia of Change
The Assassination of the Human Pride
As their Souls Quake in Terror
At the Thought of What Could Be

There is But One Thing
A Mortal Being Dreads more then
What Could Be
And That is The Fear of
The Empty Void of The Afterlife

For the Humans Have no Knowledge
Of What Comes
After A Soul Passes from
This World Unto the Next
And What Waits for All Mortal Beings There

But What scares Humans Most
Is Those who Do Not Fear

we are all trying to survive
to escape the hunter

except the predator is our mind
and the prey is our physical being

I love to sit
In a building
Way up high
And look down at the ground
And see all of the people
The size of ants
And all the cars
Like the toys I once had
Hurry around
Walking, running, driving
Everyone is in a hurry
Somewhere to be
Somewhere to go
Faster, faster
They go
Each one with there one story
Relatively insignificant to everyone else
Only people in your life care
About you and your story
The same way only you care
About people's stories
Who are in your life
Everyone else is just a face
In the way
Walking past you
Driving your bus
Your train
Your taxi
Insignificant
A pawn that gets you where you want to be
So you can ccontinue your life
What if
We cared more
About these people
Probably others would think you are crazy
But maybe you would touch someone's heart
Change their life
Maybe smiling could be a social normalcy
If those ant sized people
Could slow down
For a moment
What would I see
Way up high
If the world became
A friendlier place

I've been feeling so alone
And so lost
As if I was trapped in the dark forest of my mind
Not knowing which way is out
And which way is into further isolation
And than I walked
And walked
With music playing in my ears
Alone
But I wasn't lonely
I was free
And I wished that I could just walk forever
Not away from anything
Not to anything
Just walking
forever

I don't miss the lightheadedness
I don't miss the fatigue
I don't miss the secrets
I don't miss the planning
I don't miss the fixation, the obsession
I don't miss the emptiness

But

I do miss the willpower I used to have

The others wrote you letters
To explain why they couldn't stand you anymore
The next day you asked me
Where we stood
Since I didn't write you a 'hate' letter
What I said was too polite
So here is what I should have said

You treated me like ****
Stomped on me
Then waited until I picked myself up
To push me down again

So long I didn't notice
What you were really doing
I would come back
To apologize to you

Mistakenly

You had all of your friends
Dancing around
Controlled by you
Puppets, our strings in your hands

But a few of us
Had just come alive
Opened our eyes
And saw the truth

That you don't care about anyone
You just care that they care
But now I don't care
Go light yourself on fire

Guess What?

Family is forever
But friends don't have to be
I guess you forgot
We made a choice

Also known as a mistake
To be your "friend"
And I was a true friend to you
To bad it was one sided

In case no one ever taught you
Here is the definition of friendship
Two people who can trust each other
To give and take fairly from the other
To love them
A care about them

I should have said
That I can't give anymore
At some point a well
Has to run dry
I had nothing more to give you

If you could have stopped
Tearing at us
Ripping us down
You wouldn't have lost 3
Of the very best friends anyone could ask for

By hating our friendship
You excluded yourself
It's not our fault
It's yours

So if I ever have to see you again
My face will tell you to die
Even though my words did not
The day I said goodbye

If you are happy without me
Great.
If you aren't
Even Better

Just in case it wasn't clear

I hope you die in a hole.
Ελπίζω να πεθάνουν σε μια τρύπα

A very deep hole.

Where do you go
When your house
Is no longer a home
When you no longer feel safe in your bed
Because you can hear their words
And your cheerleaders
Are the ones holding you back

Where to you turn
When you supposedly greatest supporters
Become your greatest critics
When the gossiping girls in the bathroom
Have insults
That seem like elementary insults
Compared to the things you hear at home

When do you decide
Enough is enough
When they are to afraid to repeat their words
To your face
When you can't tell them things
For fear they will use it against you

When do you decide it is time to spread your wings
And leave the nest that has become a death trap
It doesn't matter if I can or cannot fly
I would gladly plummet downwards
As long as I escaped

When do you finally stop denying
What once were your parents
Are now simply your
"Legal Guardians"

You wanted to know why
I was destroying myself
But how do you explain
To someone who doesn't know
What it feels like
To have your thoughts
Tear you apart

The flakes came
The day after Halloween
Large
Cold
They stuck to the ground
First since that short
Unexpected
Snowfall
In the second week of school
Before Summer returned
But
Now the snow is here to stay
We made it to halloween
Which is a remarkable feat
For my city
Winter can come now
I am ready
I can survive through
The cold dark days
Because we made it to halloween

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